My mgr is super rude (literally yells at me), and he always blames me in front of the client/PPD for the things that he did. To avoid any conflict, I kept mum so far but now water is going over head.

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My mgr did that to me when I was an an analyst (yelled at me in front of others). I kept a cool head, kindly said let’s talk in private now, and when we did I told her she can be mad at me anytime but not be rude and yell in front of others. She stopped yelling at me after that and we have a good relationship today

likeupliftinghelpful

seems like a toxic manager. did he even give you constructive feedback (which i doubt if he opted to yell at you in front of important stakeholders)? i suggest to talk to your counselor and see what’s his/her take. document everything that you think you did right/as instructed by your M yet he still blames you on.

Have you tried to have a one-on-one with him? this may seem daunting for you, but i strongly recommend to do this before escalate the problem. Worst case, he still doesnt provide you useful feedback and it just makes your case even stronger that there is something wrong with your M

likehelpful

Have you had one on one with him discussing his violent behavior? This is unprofessional, especially when client is involved. You should let him know how his behavior is stressing you out ( keep your emotions away, be objective). If he doesn’t change and repeats then escalate to higher management.

likehelpful

Concur with M1 and others who have agreed with him/her.

First address this yourself and make it clear you are ok with that kind of behavior. If that doesn’t work, go to Partner.

Either way stick to the facts and don’t make it personal.

And to answer your original question, we want that feedback. I don’t care what level it is. If someone is acting inappropriately and they don’t fix it after you tell them, I want to know.

likehelpful

Some people will keep pushing until you push back. Don’t mirror their behavior though. I disagree about stating how it affects you. I’d suggest meeting in private and saying something like “[Name], on three occasions now you’ve raised you voice when you’ve been unhappy with something. I’d like that to stop. If you have a problem with my work I’d like you to pull me aside so we can have a conversation about it.” Then stop talking. Be prepared to give 1-2 examples. If they deny it, just say something like “Okay, well I’ve said my piece”

Next time they yell in public or private say calmly but assertively “[Name], what make you think it is okay to raise your voice in a professional setting? If you’d like to talk about this, I’m ready to listen, but it won’t be yelled at”

As for the blaming you in public, politely and immediately say something like “I’m sorry, you must be mistaken, that’s not my work product”

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Sounds like someone needs to get laid

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You’re gonna a have bad managers from time to time. Survive it and escape from them

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Had the same issue with one of my managers, he literally put me down in front of my team all the time if I didn’t understand the smallest things. My mistake was not talking to him about it, but I’ve heard people on his other projects are noticing that behavior now too and it’s not going well. #Karma

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Do you think thar the leadership would support me if I report him, or would it rather hurt my reputation and career? Should I instead just wait for the project to get over, and never work with him again?

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Deloitte?

Agree with M1... sometimes you don’t know what else people are dealing with outside of work, but it is no excuse to treat you poorly. Ask for a 1:1 and let them know how it effects you as well as examples. Your manager will probably feel bad and not realize that’s how it was coming across. It shows your ability to handle the situation calmly, intelligently, and is a form of managing up... which in the long run will help in your career.

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