My MIL&I were at a empty donut shop&my 2 boys2&3 were playing rubbing their faces on the window at each other.I let the do it for 15mins-asked for window clear&had them clean the windows before I took the boys on a walk. We came back&my oldest did it again, my MIL hit him w/o asking him to stop prior to the hit.I don’t hit my kids&I was shocked! Later she told a relative I wasnt a good mom&that I need to hit my kids more. I brought this to my husband’s attention to address&he refuses to.WWYD?

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Tell your MIL that if she lays a hand on your kids again she won’t have contact with them, and separately set boundaries for your kids’ behavior - rubbing faces on public things in normal times, let alone COVID times, is not appropriate.

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Honestly, I don’t think letting your kids rub their faces on the window is that bad BECAUSE you made them clean it. Maybe not the best in covid, but not that bad.

Her disciplining your children when you are there/without your permission is crossing a boundary, even if it’s verbal. Her physically disciplining them is completely unacceptable. You and your husband REALLY need to align on this. You also need to communicate with them they will not be allowed to see your children if that happens again. And hold the line. You need your hubs to back you on this.

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Agree!

MIL was out of line, but your kids should not be rubbing their faces on the window-it’s unsanitary.

Talk to your spouse about the MIL and think through how you can talk to your boys about expectations for behavior in public

likehelpful

First of all, you are a great Mom. And you are their only Mom. Your kids are 2 and 3 years old and you had them clean up the windows they messed up? You are teaching them responsibility at a young age.

Not understanding the empty donut shop, went for a walk and came back to the store part of it - but don't really need to. Of course they're going to go back and do it again, they had fun. You know what, especially now, kids need to have fun. And if it were a God-Awful germy place, I am sure you wouldn't have let them do it.
I am sure you didn't come here to have even more people tell you what you should and should not let your kids do...

Bottom line, your MIL should not be reprimanding your kids unless you say it is ok. They are sponges. They are watching you and you are their hero. So... I hope you can stand up to your Mother-in-Law and stop this nonsense.

Also, men are notoriously terrible at confrontation, especially with their Mothers, but he needs to understand where you stand on this, that you need to be a united front and that you are going to stand up to your Mother-in-law and that's it and he needs to be with you.

You and your MIL may never be best of friends, but you do need to have respect for one another and she will not respect you until you stand up for yourself.

You sound like a kind and gracious person, so it may be super uncomfortable, but I know you can do it. Being a Mom is hard sometimes, but we are literally raising the next generation of humans.

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Hell yes to this. All of this.

Sorry to jam all the words together, I wanted to get everything in just one post. My MIL and I have never seen eye to eye on much. She and my FIL are passive aggressive and attempt to bait me into a reaction every chance they get. They are covert, some family members see what they are doing but my husband chooses to believe I have issue with them without a good reason.

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