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Trump: https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/politics/20-times-trump-said-the-coronavirus-would-go-away/2020/04/30/d2593312-9593-4ec2-aff7-72c1438fca0e_video.html Also Trump: "It will probably, unfortunately, get worse before it gets better. Something I don't like saying about things but that's the way it is. That's what we have."
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Having parents in another country that you cannot visit can be extremely stressful. I don't have any advice, OP. I know this sucks and I'm sending you strength. Pray for her well being and try to be there for them (both your mom & dad) as much as you can. Hang in there.
Rising Star
OP, I know it's not immediate but are you able to plan for travel or have your parents travel to you? There is no grief like a parent losing their child. This heartache is one that will never heal in full. Since you are also her child and still alive, this is the time to step up for her. You are her shining star to help her get through this. Call her everyday until you're with her physically to remind her that you're alive and healthy and to remind her of all the people who love her who are still around in this world. She needs exposure and reminder to what's here now. I'm so sorry OP for what you're going through, you can do this!
weight drop. Nothing seems to help her and it feels like she is slipping away due to health issues that can actually be managed but are unnecessarily increasing due to her stress levels. I can’t visit her immediately as she is in India.
(1) You need to see a counselor to manage your feelings
(2) Call your mom - speak to her and tell her how her mental wellbeing is affecting you, and that you love her and need her in your life
(3) ask her to get an antibodies test - it’s likely she’s had Covid and has recovered
Is your mother religious or spiritual? Often times, when we’ve hit an emotional bottom, it takes a Power greater than yourself to lift you back up.
I suggest finding some spiritual writings that might resonate with your mom (e.g. religious, cultural, familial, etc.), and then have your dad read it to her. Ask her to tell him if anything she hears is helping. If something jumps out, continue to walk down that path, which could be things like:
- connectedness or oneness
- focusing on the Now
- life, love, and God all being the same
- gratitude
- thinking vs action
- prayer
- Brahma
- getting out of self and helping others
- meditation and serenity
- breathing exercises (use guided YouTube)
- nature (let in sunlight and bring in flowers)
A book I read at the start of the pandemic which really helped me was “The Power of Now”. Sounds like your mom is torn between the grief and tragedy of the past and the anxiety of the future. Life happens in the Perpetual Now, and in the Now we are almost always just fine.
Sending prayers your way. 🙏
We can’t live in Fear and Faith at the same time; help transition her from the former to the latter.
I hope your mother has been evaluated for other underlying health issues. Since this is an anonymous app, let me say what happened with my husband a few years ago.
His mother passed away after he cared for her while she had Alzheimer’s and he was having mental health related struggles including depression. While he struggled with that for a couple years, he eventually started losing weight and it got to a point where he was on a liquid diet. The whole time he was seeing a primary care doctor and had a psychiatrist and psychotherapist to help him manage what he was going through.
It finally came to a point where he lost so much weight and was so out-of-sorts mentally that he ended up checking into a hospital. It was only then he was finally diagnosed with an autoimmune disease which exasperated all of his mental and physical issues.
I’m not a dr and I’m not saying there is an underlying medical with her. But I do hope that her doctors have checked to see if there could potentially be another health problem that is untreated and only making things worse.
I hope, that with the support she finds from her family, friends, and doctors, that your mom is able to get into a better mental state.
Enthusiast
Wow, we should connect. I’m dealing with a very similar situation. My mom also lost her sister due to COVID and it’s severely impacting her mental health. My dad is also sickly (Parkinsons) so between caring for him and my aunt my mom is fixated and hopeless. She refuses to see a counselor though, and my sister and I are struggling with being her only support system. I am managing my aunt’s estate because it’s too much for my mom and it’s all really overwhelming. Thankfully I myself have a therapist. Let me know if you want to chat.. wish you the best either way
Did she die DUE to covid, or did she die WITH covid? Those are two gravely different things, and clearly the issue is the source of a great deal of anxiety.
The vast majority of reported deaths (94% of 160k-ish, iirc) are WITH covid, with the presence of, on average, 2.6 other strong comorbidities such as heart disease, pneumonia, etc. That means of the 5.6M reported cases, the rate of people that died from covid is ridiculously low. Another glance at the data shows that the bast majority of deaths of any classification are in the 65yo+ population, aka vulnerable to everything like the flu.
This media-fueled frenzy and shutdown has cause much more harm than the virus itself ever would have. So many people's livelihoods, their ability to feed and shelter themselves and their families, have been destroyed. What is the toll in sickness and anxiety there, let alone the financial damage that will haunt them for years?
What an idiot,thank god I did not join Slalom
Pray for her, and support her in whatever way you're able to. Prayer works. My prayers are with you both.
Sending prayers and best wishes with hugs OP.