{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My parents are super conservative when it comes to dating. They are against overnight trips or sleepovers with boyfriend. The concept of this never existed during their dating times. However, I’m 27 and I’m an adult and want to have overnight trips and sleepovers. We are still very close and they call me everyday. I admit - they were strict with me growing me and got me to behave obediently towards them\n Anybody been in similar situation? How did you convince your super conservative parents?", "post_id": "601b7840ca4d85002016f017", "reply_count": 21, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

My parents are super conservative when it comes to dating. They are against overnight trips or sleepovers with boyfriend. The concept of this never existed during their dating times. However, I’m 27 and I’m an adult and want to have overnight trips and sleepovers. We are still very close and they call me everyday. I admit - they were strict with me growing me and got me to behave obediently towards them Anybody been in similar situation? How did you convince your super conservative parents?

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Do you live with them? Why do they need to know right now

likesmart

My parents are like this. I didn’t do overnight trips because of them. After my boyfriend and I broke up, I happened to mention it to my mom (which is surprising given her conservatism, but it was shortly post breakup and I was emotional). She surprised me by saying she didn’t understand why I didn’t take the trips and that even though she and my dad wouldn’t agree with it, she didn’t understand why at my age I would give so much weight to that. She thought I should have gone! Definitely helped me think for next time I need to learn that it’s okay to disappoint them sometimes, and we’ll all be okay after the minor discomfort.

likehelpful

It's not perfect 😂 but have you considered lying? Either inform them of your decisions (and that you're not looking for feedback) or just don't tell them if it's none of their business. But seriously, it sounds like you might be in the mindset of trying to get their permission or approval? I don't know that there's necessarily a winning argument here, unless they're actually more open to the idea than you're expecting and you're misreading the potential level of disapproval. Anyway, I'm in therapy dealing with some similar themes because I didn't grow up with a model of how to assert, or even recognize, my needs over my parents', at least not in a way that was constructive or emotionally honest. I would recommend looking into it, especially if you're finding spillover effects from this dynamic in other parts of your life.

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I completely agree. Im living with my boyfriend now and I’ll inform them when I’m ready. Yeah going through therapy has taught me when I need to kick out the voice of my parents so I can make decisions for my life and learn from them.

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Don’t. You’re an adult and it doesn’t sound like you live with your parents, so make your own decisions. You don’t need their approval to travel or spend the night with your boyfriend. You don’t even need to tell them, and if they ask a direct question, you can decline to answer. Also, I’m only buying that this was unheard of when your parents were dating if they grew up and came of age outside the US. If they’re in their 50s or 60s, they would have been the age you are now in the 80s or 90s — and adults traveling or spending the night with a partner was pretty common in the States even then.

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Thank you! Totally agree. It is cultural shift mindset. I grew up as a goody two shoes and now I just need to learn that you can’t please your parents all time and it’s normal to have different opinions

My parents are the same way and we are close and talk everyday. I think omission of detail is key here. During the time I was dating different men, I never brought it up to them unless I was VERY serious about the guy. I went on trips/sleepovers/dates without my parents knowing but told my best friend what I was doing and where I was going for safety reasons in case anything happened. Once I found the guy I wanted to date seriously, after we had dated for some time I introduced him to my parents. Then I was able to be upfront about what we were doing, traveling, etc. (but obviously didnt tell them I was practically living in his apartment lol) He’s my husband now so it all worked out :)

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What a great story!

I’m almost old enough to be your mother, but I *still* don’t have these conversations with my own mom. I do tell her when I’m going on a trip with my boyfriend or one of us is visiting the other (we’re LD), but we don’t discuss sleeping arrangements and I don’t bring my beau to her house or have him visit me when she’s here. It’s silly, but it’s not worth listening to her outdated expressions of “morality.” You do your thing, and either tell them or not (I always told my parents they were group trips until I was in my late 30s!), but don’t be concerned with what they think. You are, presumably, a fully-independent adult and you can make your own decisions. Their morals don’t have to be yours.

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Go OP 💝

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I didn't. I avoided some uncomfortable conversations. Some things you can't change and they are a losing battle. It is your life, live it how you want and if you have to hide some things well...

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That’s a good way of looking at it. I’m taking mental note of this

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What do you even mean? These are not things to discuss with them nor to convince them. You are a grown adult, assuming financially independent and don’t live in their house (if you do, move out ASAP). If they are too intrusive and call daily, stop picking up. Lean them off, be proactive and say “I’ll call you on xx day”.

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My mom told me when I turned 21 that I was an adult and welcome to make my own choices in this regard BECAUSE when she was 21 she was married. I assume if your parents are so conservative they were married by the age you are now; and if they were married you are certainly adult enough to make your own choices

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Adult is at 18

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Part of the crowd. The briefcase doesn't show in post details though.

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Testing for sound!

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Living it up in the city.

New posts and

14:36 gmt 😀

Testing a new post at 12:06PT 5.12

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Looking good! Create post animation looks great too and so does the character count!

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This is looking great!

Ahh it is posting but into middle of feed as opposed to top.

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One consultant I know married to freaking client.. Not from my firm !

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Anyone knows if consultants in the UK are getting a bonus this year as mentioned last year? I haven't heard anyone talking about it in the past few months, so I guess leadership changed their mind?

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What % of deal does someone get paid if they source a deal in PEPI Alvarez & Marsal

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What’s like gmat club but for consulting

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Any ideas on how to get a decent car price at the moment? Or any brands not doing big mark ups? I am looking at a car similar to rav-4 but market adjustmet is over 3k. Any help would be appreciate it (better webs to look, how to approach negotiations…). TIA

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If we're all so smart, why do we work such long hours? Shouldn't we be able to get the job done efficiently? 🤔🤔🤔

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I find most consultants boring AF. Usually, the more senior the more boring. Most are nice but most are so vanilla.

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To all my Alphas! Do you ever show emotions when your girl is with you? And what do you think of men who show emotions around girls?

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