My partner and I have been together for quite a few years now. He has a very tumultuous relationship with his family. I’ve always tried to be supportive i.e. postponing plans because of fights or arguments that happen in the house, offering help even financially, making an effort to visit his parents while he lived in another state, dropping off food and favorite snacks when he’s upset, etc. He refuses to see a therapist for his enmeshed relationship with his parents even though (cont)

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No you’re not. I see where you’re coming from. He should not treat you like that. We don’t know all the details obviously, but seems like your husband is also looking for a different kind of support? Maybe ask him what he needs you to do to feel supported.

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Thanks for your response Pwc 1! I really appreciate it

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It sounds to me like you are in a relationship with a gigantic baby.

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He realizes that their happiness or lack of seriously impedes his. It’s a pattern that when these issues come up, he is rude to me if I make a suggestion that he does not like or doesn’t think I should have made. He will say things that insinuate it is not my place or that I or the comment/suggestion was stupid or idiotic without much logic. I’m never pushy. Most recently during a crisis, he told me not to give advice if I’m not asked. At this point after several years of the same pattern, I told him that though I understand that he is stressed, I did not appreciate how he was talking to me. He essentially said ok and I didn’t text him again. The next morning he says I wasn’t there for him and that he doesn’t want someone like me by his side when he’s at his darkest points. Now I am questioning if I seriously messed up. Am I an asshole for finally creating that boundary?

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