My partner is still out of work from being laid off due to COVID and made it to a final round interview that he thought went well , and got a denial email this morning. I was so excited to finally not feel so much financial pressure as his unemployment is stalled, but I just feel terrible, like this will never end and start to impact our relationship because he can’t pull his weight with the bills. Plus, I have a presentation today and just feel so distracted — an awful awful morning.

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Speaking as someone who has been out of work in the past while trying to maintain supporting a single income family, this is a very tough situation on everyone involved. If it were me in your partners situation, I’d feel even more pressure as the one not currently contributing. Are you feeling bitter about being the only contributor or just stressed that you aren’t able to bring in enough on your own to alleviate the financial pressure?

Hang in there. It’s never easy to see through the current issues, however it will get better and you both will be stronger for the experience.

I’m sorry to hear that. My boyfriend has a bit of a niche job, so he was unemployed for 6 months last year and is now only working about 40% of his previous hours. He also had to get emergency oral surgery while he was out of work, so that was a wonderful surprise $10k expense to manage.

I know it’s tough to deal with the financial pressures - I used to be super stressed out about it, but I have tried to be reset my expectations. A couple thoughts that helped me:

Are you all genuinely worried about not be able to afford food and shelter? If not, that’s something to be thankful for. If so, it might be time for your partner to just find any job for the time being - even if it’s a step down from their previous opportunity.

Is your partner able to do more around the house to make your work week easier? For example, I never really clean or fold laundry anymore and only cook a quarter of my meals. My boyfriend tries to do as much as possible, so that I can just relax whenever I am not working. If you are not already doing this, I would suggest having your partner do more of the every day mundane tasks, so you avoid feeling too resentful about the bills.

Hang in there. Remember that this is only temporary but maintaining a relationship with a loving, supportive partner is well worth it in the long term.

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