{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My roommate and best friend refuses to get the covid vaccine whenever it’s available because she believes vaccines gave her sister autism. We’re reaching a point of tension where I can’t bring anything up with her that isn’t topical because she’s going through a lot and becomes easily triggered by anything foreign to her. I can’t move out right now. And it also makes me sad that she’s so close minded about the world. Any advice for coexisting/coping? I predict winter will be tough. TIA...♥️", "post_id": "5f5548346f2623002acb4c82", "reply_count": 53, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

My roommate and best friend refuses to get the covid vaccine whenever it’s available because she believes vaccines gave her sister autism. We’re reaching a point of tension where I can’t bring anything up with her that isn’t topical because she’s going through a lot and becomes easily triggered by anything foreign to her. I can’t move out right now. And it also makes me sad that she’s so close minded about the world. Any advice for coexisting/coping? I predict winter will be tough. TIA...♥️

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I don’t think you can change her opinion about the vaccine. But, it sounds like she is a good friend and you value her friendship. I think it is imp to have all kinds of friends. You don’t have to agree about everything and I’m sure at certain times she will help you when you need it the most. Respect her opinion, even if you disagree, but also value her friendship- especially given that you are stuck with her in the same house for sometime. Good luck.

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Even more so to value your relationship. I don’t see eye to eye with my brother on many things, but I know he loves me and he will always be there for me. I couldn’t care less about agreeing with him on every topic and I know what to bring and not to bring up to discuss. It’s very hard to change someone’s opinion if they have gone thru an impact. Maybe she finds comfort in blaming the vaccine, but that doesn’t make her not to be liked. Sounds like a keeper 😄

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It may be best to move out.

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Leave her alone and stop being controlling. Get a vaccine if you choose to or move out. People have every right to not get one yet. Moreover as long as you get one, why are you worried about her.

likesmart

I didn’t fully understand how they work or what the risks are, I’m sure we’ll work something out. She brought it up and I thought it helped illustrate some of the disagreements that we’ve been experiencing. ♥️

Why can't someone have a different POV and be accepted? What happened to respectfully agree to disagree? You so closed minded that you can't see her POV. Why is it that she is and not you?

likesmart

PWC1, he can’t take the first dose. Hundreds of people already took doses. All these vaccines are in phase 3.

Do you really need to discuss a vaccine that won’t be available for months? Even if it’s approved in November, there won’t be enough for widespread distribution until January at the earliest. Maybe when it comes out, someone else or circumstances will convince her. In the meantime, try to start conversations based on things you can have in common. Maybe binge watch a TV comedy together - I recommend Brooklyn 99 or Schitts Creek if you haven’t seen them.

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Thank you for this :)

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How tolerant of you....

likefunny

:)

First off, there are opinions and there are facts. Expecting both sides to be treated with equal weight is basically a participation trophy for the incorrect person. Second, from what you’ve written, you’re the only one trying to look out for the other person here. At some point, you need to draw a line - figure out where your boundaries are. A good place to draw a line is when things will become detrimental to your health both physical and mental. From the looks of it, you already know this will be the case and you already know the answer. It’s an easy answer, but acting on it is painful. Hope everything works out for your friendship and you both.

likesmart

Thank you!

Not sure why this is something that you need to discuss? Based on your comment it seems like you are the one that is bringing up these controversial topics. Just leave it alone. My wife is a pretty liberal Democrat and I am a conservative, but we seem to get along just fine. I don’t feel the need to convince her of anything related to politics and vice versa.

likesmart

She brought it up :) I just thought it helped illustrate some of our differences that we’ve been discovering. ♥️ Everyone is entitled to how they feel I’m just not used to facilitating conversations like that at home

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Time to leave. This will only bring you back down

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No real reason to be in NYC right now if your job is remote. Take a few weeks and live with a relative or friend with extra space. It could help you reflect on the situation.

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You not wrong

The vaccine isn't out yet, let alone knowing if this vaccine will be effective or not. You guys are arguing about something that hasn't come yet. Drop the subject. When the time comes, you go get the shot yourself, don't force anyone else to do it.

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The vaccine not even out yet. And if it is, do you know if it’ll be available for individuals who do not have covid? Stop stressing about things that aren’t a reality for you right now. Cross that bridge when you get there and if you really need people vaccine history then you may need to live alone

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That was very refreshing thank you

That’s her opinion. It’s possible that vaccines cause autism although studies have found no links. It’s the same thing with things that cause cancer. We will go years with reports saying there’s no link then one day bam there’s a link. Let her believe what she wants to believe. As must as I want to believe a covid vaccine will cure everything. I’m definitely not going to take the vaccine right away just because there is one. I would like to see that it works and there’s no side effects that clinical trials might not find.

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What svp1 said...the minute I hear someone say that vaccines cause autism, I can’t help but discredit them because they are just parroting what’s been proven to be misinformation spewed by the antivaxxer movement. If your roommate had cited other reasons like wanting to wait for a vaccine that is proven to be effective (rather than one that’s been produced in a rush in a highly political environment), I can kinda be empathetic to that perspective.

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Their opinion is too cemented. If it’s just a personal agreement, I’d move on. If you are concern of your health - move out when lease is up or sublet when you feel uncomfortable.

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Move out. It’s the only way to really save your friendship. It’s easier to tolerate certain things when they are not in your face all the time

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Whats the problem exactly? Just get the vaccine yourself and you’ll be fine right? Only like 70% of a population needs to be vaccinated for a disease to die out, so.. just agree to disagree and accept she wants to be in the 30%. Consider it an optimization choice if you like.

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I didn’t know that! That certainly would be the best route

you’re all getting upset over a hypothetical...worry about it when it comes, unless you’re discussing renewing a lease in the next few months

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There is nothing you can do to change her mind. Accept it and accept her opinion. It's basically like religion- would you try to convince her that her religion is wrong or not to go to church? Just apply the same approach. She may not be correct but it's her choice. Not yours

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I agree with you!

I am all up for all kinds of vaccines but not the COVID one. This one came out too fast I am doubting if it came out for political reasons instead of actually doing anything good. It’s ok if the vaccine does work, but it’s not ok have to worried about if it actually does anything bad to you

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The real test of long lasting friendship is that you accept people for who they are (warts and all) and vice versa, and maintaining that friendship knowing you don't have to agree on absolutely everything. One of my best friends for over 20 years has political views very different from my own and yes, sometimes we get into heated debates but always settled over a glass of wine or two and we just agree to disagree. If you want the vaccine, have it, but respect her choice not to (and she should respect yours to have it). Really not big enough of an issue in the grand scheme of things to move out unless other stuff going on - finding good flatmates is difficult!

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Thank you for this perspective! This one helped me the most :)

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