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That's very thoughtful of you. It's never too much, whatever you choose to do. I myself lost a mom recently, and knowing friends care means so much. A note/card would be good (saying she and her family are in your thoughts), and anything extra would be doubly nice.
Op: just a shout out to you for being a great friend.
Get her a pint of ice cream and binge Netflix with her.
Oder her dinner to the house, as someone who went through the same thing it will hit her all over again. Text her and say your there if she wants to talk but give her a dinner at home.
Is it even appropriate that I make a gesture, or is that too much of a reminder? She doesn't like flowers, but I want to do something that says it's not a normal day, without requiring a response on her part.
Flowers, a note and asking mutual friends to take her out for the evening.
Take her out for dinner or shopping. Let her know if she wants to remember him, she can.
Small box of high end chocolates?
I second the edible arrangement or dinner to the apartment ideas.
Small edible arrangements are my go to for such things.
I like the idea, but we both just moved here for jobs - we have very few if any mutual friends in the city.
Take her out for dinner maybe?
Does she openly acknowledge it every year? My father died last September, I dealt with it in my own way internally but my family was gracious enough to acknowledge it openly at a dinner and made some very nice tributes to him. You guys could do that one-on-one.
She talks about it fairly openly, but I'm not sure if she does anything on the day of...
Just checking that she's not totally internalizing it. Would affect your approach potentially. Take her out - ask relatives a few nice things about her dad (if you are in contact and are comfortable with it) to talk about. Have a toast in his honor.
Thoughtful of you. Agree with A1 approach. Acknowledging means more than anyone realizes.
All of the ideas about spending time with her (dinner, Netflix, etc) - I'll be traveling the day of. Could do the weekend prior, but will that set a sad mood for the rest of the week? The week after is her birthday, so I don't really want to do the weekend in between & set a sad mood for both.
If you know her father's favorite candy/movie but it for her.
I don't know what culture you are from but in my culture grief isn't formal. We don't really believe in sending flowers. We acknowledge and talk about it openly.