My Senior Manager is going through a really rough time and has turned to drinking. There have been times where they showed up to the client site drunk and I had to take care / cover for them and (cont

likehelpful
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Hey. I've been that SM. Wife cheated and left me, took everything. Devastated me and left me j. A south crushing place. Was drinking a fifth a day, showing up to work borderline drunk or at least super hungover. Reserving conference rooms at the client office just to sleep off the booze. I became suicidal, I didn't want to deal with what was in front of me.

It got to the point where my ex wife called the police and it led to a 4 hour standoff with swat and my empty home as I was in a different state/ time zone. SWAT was negotiating with an empty house.

Thankfully I came out of it with the help of a wonderful doctor, supportive family, and my friends who knew me at my best, so they helped me find that piece of me.

Your SM is self destructive right now because they need to feel something other than hurt or alone. Being drunk or hungover is better than that, unfortunately. But you can help.

Be there. Constantly talk to them, try to spend time with them in environments that don't center around drinking.

Having people that showed they cared for me was everything. I drank excessively because I felt alone and was in pain. Thr recognition by another, even without saying so explicitly, was enormous.

With all that said, you can't save somebody who does not want to be saved. People have to hit their rock bottom on their own. You can be there to pick them up, but you can't find the bottom for them. It's hard to sit by and watch, and it is unfortunate.

Props to you for wanting to help OP

likeupliftinghelpful

SM1: Thank you for sharing.

Props to you for supporting them.

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Pls have a conversation with them directly, as soon as you catch them in a for sure sober moment. They’ll appreciate it in the long run, even if it’s awkward topic now.

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other times where they have gone completely off the rails at our dinners or team events. I’m not sure what to do because I know that they going to a rough patch but are quickly turning into an alcoholic. I don’t want to ruin their career but also know this is not suatainable.

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I’ve known them for a few years and have followed them from project to project. I’ve seen them lose many people close to them, including pregnancies, so not sure what to do. I do not feel as though I am qualified. I have asked them to seek counseling or take a LOA many times...same as their spouse. I am quite afraid and stressed by this. It literally keeps me up at night (hence the late night posts).

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Talk to someone that specializes in how to approach someone like this.

I’m not, but I would feel the need to give this person a chance to help themselves before alerting others within the company. You also can’t continue covering for this person, so that needs to be communicated as well. Again, seek out professional advice.

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This is above your pay grade and by not escalating it, you put your career at risk as well. Document the behavior for your own records. Have a conversation with the partner.

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Thank you BCG2 Jesus Christ people

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Really sorry to hear this and I sincerely hope this sorts out. It’s a great feeling to see that this industry has people who care for each other. My suggestion would be talk honestly with the SM and offer help. If you’re sincere they’ll be ok.

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Them? multiple people? or just one?

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Who cares if this person is male or female? Help is needed.

likesmart

You should have an employee assistance program .. that may help but talent can help navigate as well. Safety and health first.

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Not necessarily. May very well refer them for help. But if you wait and something happens, then yes. Probably will be fired. .

Support yes - get them help. Enable ( aka cover) — nope you aren’t actually helping.

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