My single, unmarried, childless self is done spending $$ on bridal showers, Bach parties, baby showers, gender reveals when these friends don’t even reciprocate for bdays or charity events. What invite? That’s my new response 💅🏽

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Tell them you’re not able to afford much going forward because your recent crypto investment took a hit and you’re still trying to recover the loss 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

likefunnysmart

OP I totally get it! I am also single and childfree and have spent so much time and money over the years on other peoples’ life cycle events. I’ve really scaled back to giving gifts only to family and close friends who I anticipate knowing for a long time.

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“Life cycle events”= oof never thought about it like that.

likefunny
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Makes me think of the sex and the City episode where Carrie got shamed by her married with kids friend for spending $500 on shoes

likefunnyuplifting

DPC1: I literally bought $500 shoes a few days ago and I'm like "this is what I thought living in NYC would be like! I'm happy!"

upliftinglike

I saved so much money during COVID due to all the virtual wedding and baby showers. Also I have a friend got married 3 times...

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At number three they should buy their guests a gift for still showing up

likeupliftingfunny

Give gifts that are personal and not expensive. Stop buying kitchenaid mixers. Duh.

likeuplifting

Well OP mentioned bridal showers and baby showers and used the painting nails emoji sooooo you do the math. I’ve been to only a few baby showers that included men. It’s pretty easy to read the virtual room here 🤷🏻‍♀️

helpful

Going on vacation, sorry. 💅🏽

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I hate transactional approaches to relationships, so I don't tend to "keep score" super carefully but if I've given multiple gifts, attended showy baby showers, weddings, etc and its not reciprocated in some way thats a clear indicator I'm not a priority for that person. So why would I continue to contribute to their lifestyle? I agree with this post.

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Wasn’t about the gifts/expense for me. I just hate going to those things and stopped doing it.

smart

I hear you! I’ve started saying no to bridal and baby showers, and even being a bridesmaid. I was a bridesmaid 8 times before I started saying no. That stuff gets so expensive.

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Yeah my sister’s wedding cost me thousands, plus pro bono work, and that was a rude awakening

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Oh yes! How can I forget the extra work and time when in the bridal party?!!

I give gifts to friends / kids because I want to, not for reciprocity

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Do you need an 👏🏽? Not sure your age, but eventually there is a thing called boundaries. Do you. Let the rest of give as we want to.

I’m happy to spend the money. My friends’ fams are my extended fams, and I know they’d show up for me if I ever got married and had kids myself. Plus, it’s not their fault that I haven’t.

Yeah, poorly phrased on my part. I might never get married and there is no fault to be attributed in general because there is nothing inherently bad or wrong with not getting married and not having kids.

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Choose wisely Op

Agree

You're supposed to bring a present to gender reveal parties too?
What a rip off!
I'd just ask my guests to Bring their Own Fireworks :)

How about you throw some promotion party and invite them back?

Solid idea. But I don’t like to make ppl pay to celebrate me. I know. I am an odd duck.

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Great Sex in the City episode on this scenario. Carrie ends up getting an amazing pair of shoes from one such friend.

I told my friends to not celebrate my life. I just feel bad they spend money for me 🤷🏻‍♀️ When my husband and I got married, I didn’t have bridesmaid either. I just feel bad if my friends spend a lot of money unless if I pay for her dress and make up.

Just tell your friends it’s out of your budget/ you have had too many expenses recently! I personally invite people to these type of events but would be so understanding if my friends said this to me! Also, I personally would be so grateful for a $20 or less gift and most importantly, I am appreciative of your presence.

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