My SO blames our little kids for being spoiled. But my SO is the spoiler, of course. Any ideas on how to address?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I’ll reduce some of your cash flow. You can Venmo me. Problem solved

likefunny

SC1 clearly not married... "you're a consultant, show her the facts"... Lol, she'll show you the door

likefunny

SC1 - appreciate your thoughts. Here’s the thing: I’m good at logic. That doesn’t work in this instance. Are you married? Just curious. Mars Venus thing.

like

Married female here. Her spoiling the kids is probably an attempt to fill some void she believes exists in their lives. As a mom, she's probably trying to compensate with material goods. Does she feel like you are spending enough time/attention on her and the kids?

like

SC1: there’s a difference between, “Honey, we need to have a chat about how to implement a spoiling transformation initiative,” and littering a few crumbs here and there in conversation over the course of months.

like

OP’s correct. After ten years, can confirm: there is zero logic in a marriage.

OP, communicating expectations with your spouse early and often is the best way to address this overall. Tactically, however, I’d try and address this in a way that frames the spoiling from her POV. Why does she spoil them? (I’m assuming you mean with stuff rather than affection, correct?) What impact is that having. What goal is she trying to achieve by spoiling them? What’s a better way to meet her objective that doesn’t involve spoiling them?

Start slow at first. Nibble around the idea inception-style in conversations. But by bit, get closer and closer to biting right in to the issue. If you do it right, she’ll stop spoiling them because it was her idea and not yours.

like

Put in a deck...

like

You are a consultant. Show her the facts, help her understand your logic by walking her through it. If she does x, your kids respond with y, and behave like z. Also show her an example of the counter argument. Depending on how extreme, take her to therapy. Spoiling children is a sign of childhood issues on your wifes part, trying to make up for lack of something she didnt have as a child and not wanting your kids to feel similar.

Please Define spoiling kids. Giving them lot of support and affection in young age is very important and it is not spoiling. So the definition matters.

Venus here, married with 1 child and totally understand where you are coming from, but we are both very much against this idea of spoiling. Kids need love, affection, freedom to learn and grow as they feel they need to, and ability to express themselves. After taking care of their basic needs (and some small wants), money doesn’t achieve the rest

well it’s a respect thing right? So if you respectfully show your wife your concerns and she respectfully listens and tries to understand, it is a starting point.

KPMG1, not sure how you can deduce who is married and who is not from one responde, seems a bit erratic on your part. Good luck with that.

LOL PWC1 those are LOGICAL questions. Are you kidding me right now

Yeah she just likes buying stuff. When I say “we don’t need stuff,” she shifts her Amazon buying to the kids. “I’m taking care of the kids."

I didn’t say anything of the former though :)

SC1 you are so not married

Ask her how it makes her feel when she buys stuff on amazon. One day stop her from doing it and ask her how she feels then. All of these motivations and rewards and anxieties are buried deep in our mind. You’re not going to solve this by rationalizing your way out of it.

Things we do are mostly not for other people they are for ourselves

Related Posts

What would be the salary for an integration manager in the post merger integration team? Kindly suggest. How are the yearly hikes in TechM ?

like

Anyone experience ageism of late?

like

What is your ytd utilization and Company? Mine is 98% as of the end of june. @ Kroll

like

Luxury babes! Drop some links to the most luxurious, softest, finest sheets you’ve ever slept on. I’m in desperate need of something amazing but the algorithm keeps giving me cheap cotton. I don’t want silk or satin, but something that feels like like that. And water resistant is important too.

likefunny

How will I get onsite opportunity in Accenture?

like

Is citi pune's wlb really bad for Java developers?

like

I really wish guidelines were made clear in terms of D&C of a miscarriage. I live in Texas and have heard horror stories of women near death before anything is done to help them.

like

What is the expected CTC for the innovator cadre after 2 YOE. Currently digital.

like

Have any July PERM filers began to hear back on their application?

like

Hi Folks,

What is onsite opportunity in CGI?

Long shot…anyone here have body shop recommendations in the western suburbs? Car was hit yesterday and insurance’s recommended shop doesn’t have availability until February.

like

Dear IPG Health, it’s great you are having 2 holiday parties during the work week for employees who only live in the tri-state area. All us remote people look forward to covering for them, yet again.

like

Good Day, Everyone!

I am moving to Canada in May'2022 on Permanent Resident status.

I have 7years 6months of work experience in India from Broadridge, HCL and Capgemini and my current designation is Test Lead.

To seek out similar opportunities in Canada, I have activated job profile in Indeed, Linkedin, etc..
Could someone please help me to know the salary range of Test Lead in Canada? (Preferably BC province as my PR is approved through BC PNP)

Appreciate your response and thoughts.

like

Need 10❤️ to start DM. Please help 🙏🏻

likeupliftinghelpful

Cadwalader, NYC, Tax, 2nd year. Curious as the to the general atmosphere, work life balance, type of work, etc.

like

In a tiny (only $52,000 in damages) litigation matter that should have been a simple trial on a simple issue (breach of contract), OC has filed 9 unsupportable motions, 7 of which had prayers for fees, including one claiming an ethics violation by me. All overruled. OC's latest brief in opposition to our motion to compel is a 13-page, babbling, word-salad mess with 126 pages of exhibits. It does not address our arguments and any 1L could have written a better brief. Judge should punish her!

likefunny

Let's grow this puppy. Deals Deals Deals!

Agency copywriters (in Toronto): what’s your pivot/exit plan after agency life? Client side seems to be crap work & bureaucratic, are there other creative options I haven’t thought of yet?

Dear fishes ,
I am looking for job change in sales currently working in think and learn pvt. Ltd.(Byjus). As business development associate. Kindly recommend .

Additional Posts in Consulting

Post lunch afternoon nap- the best part of working from home!

like

Luxury babes! Drop some links to the most luxurious, softest, finest sheets you’ve ever slept on. I’m in desperate need of something amazing but the algorithm keeps giving me cheap cotton. I don’t want silk or satin, but something that feels like like that. And water resistant is important too.

likefunny

I'm looking to pivot from consulting into tech. I've gotten lots of interesting from tech companies on the ops side but am much more interested in product management.

Any advice on books or courses to help make the transition? I'm struggling to land PM interviews at companies that aren't tiny startups :(

like

I worked on a project with Leap by McKinsey and enjoyed it. It's basically planning and launching digital projects from 0 to 1(strategy to MVP).
What are the best consulting companies doing this type of work?

like

Best protein powder?

like

How is everyone planning for potential layoffs?

like

Anyone else so motivated to succeed that it’s… painful? An insanely powerful motivation (maybe obsession?) to do everything right and meet your goals. How do you turn that off (or do you turn it off) outside of work hours - whatever those are.

likeuplifting

Dumb question, does a student who already graduated from Grad/Ph.D. program count as experienced hires?

like

I got an email to register for a leadership program and I was so happy.... Then it got retracted. This might be my final straw.

likefunny

Travel dinners: lobster appetizer,filet mignon, Parmesan roasted broccoli, honey seared carrots, and Pinot noir with some IPA's after for good measure. Dinner when home: hot pocket and campbell's soup

like

Any non-boutique consulting firms hiring in Miami or Tampa for strategic transformation or diligence competencies? I have 2 YOE in strategy / ops / innovation primarily financial services, both retail and commercial. I am industry agnostic though.

like

My greatest asset is my temperament 😂

like

Is anyone traveling coast to coast every week. How do you make the travel more interesting and less tiring?

like

Anyone here have experience, or have any knowledge about, working at an internal strategy team at a Big Law firm? Interested in making a switch into strategy, but unsure if working at law firm is the correct move. Thanks!

like

What % of salary does everyone invest in their 401k?

First year consultant in Chicago making $72k, currently investing 18% with a 3% company match. Wondering if this is too much...

like

I'm looking for a referral at A&M. Can someone please help?

like

Anyone else in CLT try LimeBike yet? It's pretty cool. I did my first one today.

like

McKinsey fish: any cool perks of note that make it stand out? Have a final round interview coming up and wondering if there are any that are better than Accenture (travel benefits, etc)

like

At what age will I be able to afford a one bedroom in Manhattan working in consulting

like

what difference does 109% vs. 100% utilization make at Year End? Latter basically means you took your PTO, former means you worked every minute of the year (Consulting, S&O)

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal