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@Analyst This isn't a "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet" situation though, language matters. Assertive women are often punished for their attitude and behaviour when men are lauded and promoted. A "career bitch" is going to be perceived negatively and have to fight twice as hard for half the respect and opportunities. Unfortunately this is standard in a world where woman are always supposed to be pleasant and nice and dare to ask for what they want or deserve, instead of being merely grateful to have anything.
@OP I would definitely try to point out to your SO what it means to be called a bitch in the working world (same as "bossy") and how men never get called similar names - even the recognized assholes out there still make it to the top of their fields (Casey Affleck can assault whoever he wants and still get awarded for his work!). There's about a million articles out there about the phenomenon if they don't believe you, which people are likely not to because you're a woman. 🙄
@analyst 1 - as a woman, you should know nobody uses the word "bitch" when they want to call a woman a doormat. "Bitches" speak their minds in meetings or get promoted ahead of their male counterparts or simply do any other number of things to overtly exist in an industry dominated by men. If a woman is a doormat, she's either praised for being obedient or ignored entirely.
Not really sure where the offense is? Is it meant to be taken as though you are a "doormat" in your career? Or that you're an ice queen?? Not sure of the context. If doormat: step it up and dont get walked all over. If ice queen: take it as a compliment. Women often are called bitches for the same kind of behavior that men get called "tenacious" or "leader".
SEO Analyst - Its not the word bitch as much as the association of a career minded woman with that word that made me disappointed.
Significant other I'm assuming
The context was a discussion about my career ambitions and how that translated in the workspace versus my male colleagues.
I've never been called a "career bitch," but after about a year at my current agency, a male coworker did tell me I was "less nice" than I was when I started. I think he was joking, but I entered into my job with a certain naïveté straight out of college. I've since learned to be confident in my abilities and exercise personal judgment and agency. If that makes me less of a pushover, and less "nice," I don't think that's a bad thing. 🤷🏻♀️
@OP As to your main question, I haven't been called names for my "bossiness" since high school (and that was me BEGGING my male project partners to send me their part of the work already so we could move on) but I know I've been penalized by men and woman alike for not being a pushover, being assertive and disagreeing with the status quo. I had a few people stand up for me too - my male CD even told me how a female coworker was complaining about how I wouldn't do what she told me and he told her to fuck off - but thanks to politics I got let go from that job anyway. It wasn't a black and white, obvious correlation but that is what happened. Nonetheless I'm not afraid to speak up still and won't just stay quiet and do whatever I'm told if I don't agree with it. I'm hired for my experience and opinion as well as my skills and if people can't handle working with me as I speak my mind I'd rather not work with them.
@Analyst When is name calling a positive? I think you're splitting hairs where they need not be split. Never mind that analyzing the OPs conversation isn't actually what she posted about. If you're a woman you should be familiar with the "this is REALLY what you think it is" response when asking something slightly different, and how annoying it is, nevermind how it takes the conversation away from the direction you wanted.
I'm gay and use the word bitch as a term of endearment. Hope that's not the case for your husband! 🙅
I've been called similar as a male. When you choose to work with clients of any kind you should wear that title proudly... as long as you get paid and are proud of the result.
So to expand, when someone tries to be derogatory regarding that sort of thing, I take it as a compliment, PERSONALLY. Because it reassures me im on the right path. If im NOT ruffling feathers, Ive become complacent. Everyone pushes for gender equality, wanting non-offensive things to be said, for the "status quo" of career thinking to be changed. Im not in anyways saying that it's RIGHT for us to be called that. Im saying DO something about it. Correct him. Correct the person right when it happens. "No I'm not a bitch, I am however, driven, a leader and take no shit. If it were a man, he wouldn't be labeled a bitch. And as so, neither am I for being very career driven. I want to succeed. That doesn't make me a bitch"
I call my BF my housewife. I'm a woman and double standards are real. Let it go and keep doing you.
I've never been called a career bitch. Ever. I'm the breadwinner, my husband works from home, handles childcare duties and puts my career first. I'm on the leadership team of a huge cross agency account. In Biz Ops. And I've never been called a career bitch.
Made it clear long ago to my SO that it's never ok to call me a "bitch", not jokingly, not ever.
Is it the word bitch that's offending you or his assessment of your work aspirations?
Maybe a dumb question, but what's an SO?
His or her* then
I am a woman. 💁🏼. And I don't know the context. I wasn't automatically stating that it should JUST be taken as a compliment. Once I know context I could expand.
We still don't know if the context is actually "doormat" or not.