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My high school girlfriend told me I'd be the type of guy who worked all the time when I grew up (she considered it very negative). I was 100% confident I wouldn't be. Turns out she knew me better than I knew myself.
This brings tears to my eyes.
I feel your pain man. But take it from one with experience, don't let that shit eat you up. And it can. It's the quality of the time spent at home that matters more than anything else. Dad was a traveling salesman and prioritized us when home. He was my best friend. I know though, doesn't help in the moment.
My 3 year old broke out in tears at dinner on Friday and just said "Daaaadddyyyy", I have to get on a local project soon.
At some point you need to realize the money is not worth it. You'll be spending it on therapy. I quit and I put my son to bed tonight. It was simply joyful to have him smile when he realized I was still there.
I'm sorry. I feel for you. I just had to leave the concierge lounge when I read this. I can't wait to get home tonight and see my kids.
...and the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
I decided that no fucking job, money, client or boss is worth me missing the special moments in my kids lives. I'm very open and unapologetic about saying I'm not coming to client because I need to be there for my kids. Did I lose deals, projects and soured some relationships along the way? Yes! Is it worth it? Totally, no doubt in mind, not for 1 sec! Actually it helped me identify who are the folks and clients I want to work with! Make your decision and own it!
Looks like you turned out fine, OP.
Hang in there guys. I worked out a travel once every month deal with my partner. I have a 1 year old and I wanted to be with him. So talk to your PPDs ... They can make it happen
I would start thinking about getting out, kids need live parents more than vids and you won't regret it.
For perspective, back when my daughter was new to the world I left on an 8 month deployment. She had just started crawling consistently. I flew jets so when we return home we'd land at our base in front of our families. That little crawler ran out to me saying "Daddy!" as I walked towards the waiting crowd. Sobering.
Unless completely not working is an option .., wouldn't you have been stuck at your industry job anyway?
Mine just started kindergarten. Every day he asks my wife "where's my dad? Is he coming home today?". Sometimes I'm okay with it as part of the lifestyle I'm trying to provide him, other times I break down. It's tough I know
I always work from home the first week of school so I can drop them off, could be worse could be stuck on an oil rig or off fighting a war