{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My spouse is about to go out of town for a long weekend. This is going to leave me with my step daughter. We haven't been getting along lately and she's been in full teenage and moody prime. She isn't a bad kid (good grades ect) she's just a nightmare to live with. Any advice? Im really nervous about being left alone with her this time.", "post_id": "61ebfe9bf3ee2c0038c832f2", "reply_count": 40, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

My spouse is about to go out of town for a long weekend. This is going to leave me with my step daughter. We haven't been getting along lately and she's been in full teenage and moody prime. She isn't a bad kid (good grades ect) she's just a nightmare to live with. Any advice? Im really nervous about being left alone with her this time.

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If she doesn’t want to interact, let her be. If you are responsible for food etc maybe ask what she would like/takeout etc. If she doesn’t care to respond let her figure it out. It is just three days so don’t feel like you have to keep teenager occupied/engaged. Be present and engage if she shows signs of wanting to. Long term maybe talk to your spouse on what can be different. Teenagers, especially girls, can go through phases. Is part of growing up.

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If she hadn't had big issues with tattling and ruining her friendships in school from group projects I'd agree with you.

I have a teenage sister and the best thing I can do for her when I watch her is to leave her alone and just make sure food is available whenever she wants to eat. Outside of that, I do my own thing. It’s pretty chill. I know the dynamic is different for me but whenever she acts like a princess I just don’t engage. I say no and I continue to do my own thing. I don’t argue or explain why she’s wrong and go back and forth with her bc I feel like teens see that as encouragement and a lot of the time they’re not open to learning, they’re just trying to manipulate their way into getting what they want.

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If I were you, I’d bring it up with the spouse

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✅ Did this

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Did she drive or is soon to get license? Teach her the basic car skills. Check and set tire pressure, change a flat tire. Hookup jumper cables

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Meh, my step dad taught me how to drive and we semi bonded over that. Do whatever you want, it was just a suggestion.

As long as they come out the other side alive, that’s about the best you can hope for. Like a lizard in a cage, try to interact because they can be fun but in the end, be equally okay with just feeding them, keeping them warm, and leaving them be — if they escape, godspeed.

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We all want to raise strong, independent women, we just have to survive raising them first…

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Pretty much every teenager is moody and difficult to live with. Being a step parent amps up the difficulty level another notch (I'm a step parent to two former teenage daughters) . Make sure everyone, including your spouse are in agreement to the rules for the weekend, then pray for it be Monday as soon as possible! Unfortunately the only cure for teenagers is time, lots of time.

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Thanks

Surprise her with Starbucks and ask if she wants to spend the day together. Get massages/manicures/watch a movie/go to a theme park/do something unique/fun together (if she’s up for it). She’ll remember it forever :)

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Nevermind! Just saw your other comment

As long as she is safe and going about life let her be Teenage isn't an easy time and she is probably equally vexed about the situation

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As someone who grew up with separated parents, in this case give her space if she doesn’t want to interact. As said above you can ask her if you need to order her food or something.

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A nightmare how?

It definitely is a tough position for you as a step parent. I don’t envy your position.

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Maybe you can ask her if she wants to get a mani/pedi or order something fun for dinner? But be totally cool if she wants alone time

Why not have her do a sleepover at a friends house? Then you get the place to yourself for a night. I'm sure it's been forever since anyone was ever alone for a whole day given the pandemic.

You get past it, it only takes about 8 years post 14.

2.5 years - we are in the home stretch (on the bright side 🤣)

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