My spouse is currently having emergency surgery and I am in the waiting room with my laptop getting coverage on my cases for tomorrow, finalizing things I can’t pass off to someone else, and regretting all my career related life choices.

likesmart
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I'm so sorry. I hope your spouse has a full and speedy recovery and that you're able to get some relief with your case load. Remember to take care of yourself, too.

likeupliftingsmart

Sending you a virtual hug 💜💜 Most importantly, I hope your spouse is ok!!

Second, I hope your colleagues are understanding and step up to help. For the things that you are finalizing, are they urgent or can they wait a couple days? I know from experience it can be really hard/impossible to concentrate while at the hospital while a loved one undergoes surgery.

Again, hope all goes well 💜

likeuplifting

Be there for your spouse, your teams will figure it out.

likesmart

I’m so sorry and hope your spouse is ok.

This is as much a firm choice as it is a life choice. At my biglaw firm, as a mid level associate, I would have felt entirely comfortable and justified to drop everything immediately with an email to staffing and HR. If you feel like you can’t do this I honestly think it’s the firms fault.

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Agreed. Family always comes first. At the end of the day, the firm (or any employer) is only loyal to the extent you can make them money. You should only be loyal to the extent it doesn’t prohibit you from being there for your family and being a great husband and father. Your wife needs you, the firm will figure it out.

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Why did you assume OP was a man 🤔🤔

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Kudos to you for being there! Having a good job makes the bills less scary.

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No regrets. We make choices based on where we are at the time, and right now, you are proving that you make good ones- being there and getting coverage so you can focus on your spouse. As you move forward, you will continue to make decisions about how you want your life to be, and it appears you have a good head on your shoulders and can trust your instincts. You’re way ahead of lots of people. Best wishes to you and your spouse and sending strength to see you both through this challenge.

It's fine. It will work out.

This is the problem with BL. In other countries, it’s literally illegal to contact workers when they are not working. Here, we actually put up with responding from the emergency room. Would other professions respond? Nope. If a judge’s spouse was in the ER, it is what it is. If doctor’s spouse was in the ER, not responding either. What we do is not life or death and we are not first responders.

You having an emergency is the firm’s staffing issue, not yours. Let them know you have the emergency and will be unavailable. PERIOD. Thank God for FMLA and other state specific family medical leave protections. They can’t fire you.

Fuck the job

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