Hi Fishes, Any reference would be appreciated. Looking for a job change, YOE: 5 years Skills: COBOL, JCL, DB2, IMS DB, File-Aid, CA7.
IBM CGI Bank of America Valeo Sopra Steria Societe Generale HCL Technologies Hexaware Technologies Capgemini Tech Mahindra Infosys Accenture Mindtree DXC Technology Wipro
Ven gang for life. Seriously if you want to have the best investment right now with Highest upside and lowest risk get on Ven. Biggest partnerships in crypto right now
How long did it take you to study for and pass Scrum master certificate ? Is a week enough ?
Anyone else reached out to their GSAP panel or anything after? Anything we can do to nudge them in our favor or just a waiting game?
Hi, I have a potentially ignorant question: do you have to be black to work as a music writer at BET?
Requesting prayers! I just finished a first interview with a company I’d love to work for. Please pray I get called for another round. JazakAllah ❤️
Best shoes for work that aren’t Rothy’s. Go! (I recent bought a pair of Tom’s slingback heels and a wedge and they’re both pretty decent.)
Keep work phone and personal phone separate?
But I don’t want to carry 2 phones in my pockets. Any solutions?
I have a friend coming over today and I’m making a charcuterie board for the first time. I’m having anxiety about it loll. I have a desserts board and a cheese and meats board. Shopping for all the items alone took forever and now setting them up seems like a huge challenge. Tips?
Hi fishes, if someone wants referral in cognizant feel free to Dm me for the roles given below.
Tell me if this is selfish or not. I adore my family, but since they're doing a very lowkey Christmas situation this year, I really would rather take a weeks vacation on my own. Obviously the holidays are about spending time with those you love, but I'm tired! And I see my entire family at least once a month for a group dinner. Am I a bad daughter/sister if I choose vacation this one time?
Need SAP ABAP 4+o
Any advice on booking rooms for friends/family using points? Trying to book a room for my parents for an international trip (I will not be attending). Want to make sure they don’t have any issues!
How hard is BEC compared to the other 3 exams? Also, how much is needed compared to the other 3 exams?
To the people working at Amazon , did you guys get into Amazon in your first attempt ? I got my rejection today after my phone screening and am feeling a little low. Amazon Amazon Web Services
Same slide different day
Any Teochew on here?! I am a lone teochew in the east coast and I heard others exist but havent actually met another besides one family who lives near me
Additional Posts in Depression/Anxiety Talk
I haven't posted on here yet, but I don't know where else to turn. I recently got married and my wife just got Covid. We've both been vaccinated as soon as it came out. She had relatively mild symptoms, but now (week later) she's started to develop other symptoms. She's starting to say it's a little harder to breathe than normal, and now she's feeling dizzy/brain fog. I'm a personal injury attorney that deals with TBIs so I'm familiar with this, and I'm scared. I'm hoping I'm overanalyzing.
Helping a friend navigate through severe mental health issues, and it’s starting to take a toll on me now - not even that it’s exhausting, but it’s triggering my own past memories of trauma and intrusive thoughts. I am in a much better place in life now thankfully, but the thought that I may slip/relapse again keeps nagging at me, even though I am determined not to let that happen.
Any advice from people who may have been in a similar situation?
It feels like nothing in my life is going right. I went through an extremely tough breakup 2 years ago (I know it’s been a long time, but I still struggle with it). I hate my job. And everyday feels the same. Some are better than others, but my bad days seem to outweigh the good. Every day seems harder than the next and I’m tired of feeling this way. I guess I just wanted to vent. Thanks y’all.
For anyone who was laid off, recently got laid off, or just feeling hollow and empty inside cause life seems to be in the shitters...things will get better. Reach out on here or DM me if you ever feel like the demons are too much to handle.
I’m depressed. Nothing unique about my depression - I’m in big law, my career defines me, when I’m not working I can’t find the will to get off the couch, I’m sad or I’m numb…I know I’m the only one that can make a change to my life…I’m on antidepressants. Just extremely unmotivated and paralyzed. Self-help books are not for me, but I am curious - has anyone tried a guided depression/anxiety journal? Any recommendations if so? Or, if you have experienced the same, what steps did you take?
I am a perfectionist. I absorb and take personal responsibility for mistakes made by my team. I act confident on the outside but feel like a novice on the inside. I struggle with articulating myself..
25 M 🐠. Had my first break down in a looooooong time. I cried and all. I have a lot of pent up anger and animosity toward my older brother from our time growing up and after getting a look of what I look like when i’m raging and reading Matthew 6:14, I started crying. It actually felt good to let it out. I’m so tired of holding on to anger and resentment. Any advice on how to let go?
Anyone have psychomotor agitation (inability to sit still, restless,etc) - I have this as my most prominent debilitating part of my anxiety and depression and just can’t kick it. I’ve tired everything from working out( which helps for short term), anxiety meds - I’ve taken almost every ssri with no help :(
My therapist just told me I'm depressed..do you ever feel like they tell you things you hear a lot or could have figured out on your own? Like take care of yourself, it's ok to feel such and such, etc. I'm still newer to therapy so wondering if that's the common experience? Do you ever have moments where you're like wow that actually is eye opening and I wouldn't have gotten that from reading self help books and websites etc?
My depression comes in waves, and I only just today realized that it’s coming in strong right now. I’ve been really fine for the past few months so I forgot what it felt like. I’m finding myself
I’m dealing with severe anxiety about my future. Woke up at 4 this morning and found it difficult to get back to sleep. I’ve talked to a therapist and family, taken medication, and read self-help books, nothing seems to work. I feel as though it’s never going to get better.
Anyone who has been diagnosed as bi polar here? Was called bi polar by my ex and spoke with my psychologist who recommended me to meet with a psychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis. I'm nervous to kno
Does anyone deal with anxiety about going to the dentist? I haven’t been in like 3 years but my anxiety about it is causing me to procrastinate on making a much needed appointment.
Started a new job this week. And every morning have been feeling like this anxiety ridden mess. As in, as soon as I’m conscious I feel extremely anxious. Any tips to help with this? I know it’s just because of the new job, as this has happened in the past. But it’s so uncomfortable while it happens.
Has anyone else developed a massive paranoia about getting fired? I’m terrified that any mistake will get me fired. My manager is very emotional in their reactions so it’s traumatized me a bit
Do you have to have a conversation with your boss before sending your resignation letter?
I just realized that I push people away/hurt them unintentionally. I lost many friends and thought that the problem is them, not me, until now. Does anyone have the same problem? How did you fix it?
I have been alone for my birthday and this Christmas, and for many years. I’m starting to lose hope and feel like I’ll be lonely like this for the rest of my life. 😔I know it’s my brain that is tricking me into believing this, but I’m starting to see a pattern. Every year I tell myself next year would be different, but nothing has changedZ
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Make her fall in love with you again. For example, start taking her in dates, asking her how was her day, bringing home flowers. Just small stuff to start out and have that conversation to see if she wants to try again.
Does this work well if gender is flipped? Make your ex bf or husband fell in love with you again.
You maybe hurting her more staying together. There is nothing wrong with ending a marriage you both will be happier. People change over time and relationships can run there course.
I was in a similar place once. Going out on dates is a good idea *if* you both enjoy the time together. Definitely go to couple’s counseling. It’ll be worth it.
And, take care of yourself too. Do things you enjoy, sleep enough, eat right, don’t drink too much, etc. these situations can be super stressful, and it’s easy to not notice the toll they take.
Hey OP — You might find, as I did, that the end of a relationship can be a very good thing.
But, put in the work first to resolve things if possible. And, make sure to take care of yourself throughout it all. But do it for you. Not for the relationship.
It takes effort to make a marriage work! There can be periods of high and low sexual activity- that’s not the be-all and end-all of your relationship.
The problem is people expect the type of love/sexual attraction that brought them together to last forever. In reality, it transforms to a different type of love over time. When that initial expectation is trashed, you think it’s over and sub-consciously work to end it. Over 50% of people in the western world do, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right solution.
Ref studies, what holds people together is ‘intent’. You are determined to live and grow together, have children etc. (primitive and basic life goals of human beings), then it lasts.
Ending will give you both some instant gratification, which is conceptually not much different from binge-eating when depressed.
1. Maybe time out is not a bad thing - you may learn to appreciate the good of each other.
2. Try reading the book ‘Men are from Mars, women are from Venus’ (both of you).
3. Think about what brought you together, the parts you enjoy together etc.
4. Keep an open mind to altering your perspective - introspect, meditate without bias (both of you).
Marriage is companionship in many ways. There is no such thing as a perfect partner!
Tried and discontinued, didn’t seem to be making any progress there, sadly.
Dan Savage. Go listen, then leave.
What is that?
Like the response above from M2. It’s about intent to stay together and identify the underlying issues if there are any. Listening and reading the content from Esther Perel has helped me in my case but my situation was different
What should I do? We both are stuck and actually hate our lives
I am in the same boat. I love my husband but there is no intimacy or substance in our marriage . I feel like he’d be a good friend but not an ultimate life partner. I don’t want to hurt him in anyway but I hurt everyday living like this
Take it easy on yourself. Try talking with a therapist on your own. Hope you’re doing ok
Listen no sex in 3yrs!!! Big red flag! Cut your losses fast and begin the healing process. Trust me you owe it to yourself and your wife to be happy. I’ve been there before wasted 8yrs of my life. Me and fiancé ended things 4yrs ago and haven’t spoken ever since.
How was the end of the relationship? Any tips? I feel like I’ll be in your shoes a few years from now...
How do you deal with no sex for 3y? Do you crave it with her? Do you crave that from others or other channels?
I did, but not anymore. Feeling interested in other channels, but not until we end our relationship, I couldn’t ever do that. Probably a bad sign though...
Every relationship is different so only you know the dynamics of your situation. Therapy is an option but it also requires the desire and commitment to fix the issues in your relationship. If you’re done and don’t see any way to salvage things, I don’t know that I would spend the time and money going to therapy if your heart and head aren’t in it. There’s no shame in ending the marriage. You both deserve to be happy and maybe you are better off as friends.
I ended an 8 year relationship (we were engaged for 4 of those years) a few months ago and am still on good terms with my ex. At the end of the day, he was a good person and I loved him but he wasn’t the right person for me.
I hope you find a way to deal with things in a positive way that allows you to remain friends.
Ya was in the same position as you except SO was the one who decided this should end as he felt he couldn't be himself. Adding to the complexity is that it was an LDR.
How did you recognise that it's time for you to leave and how did you gather the courage? How did your SO take it?
I knew i wasn't happy but I wanted to hold on to it. Im trying to remain as good friends now but it's still difficult without getting my hopes back up
OP I’m finalizing my divorce with my husband in January and I went through alt of the same things you’re describing. I couldn’t stand being stuck and unhappy anymore so I initiated the divorce. It broke my husbands heart but I know he’s a much better partner for someone else. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk morw
Please feel free!
What have you already tried? What is stopping her from asking for a divorce?
Everything including marriage therapy. Considering a “trial separation” now, but I think it’s a waste of time at this point. We still enjoy each others company and love aspects of each other, but neither of us think that constitutes a good marriage.
Do you have kids OP?
None, thank god. And I think that is pushing us to evaluate now before things get too far down the road.