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Get counseling. She could be depressed. Worth trying.
Conversation Starter
OP that's terrible. I am so sorry.
Yes; life is too short to be in a relationship like that!
Yes. Divorce is hard, but don’t settle for toxic relationships. You should feel loved, and return it back. that love back. I have grandparents who have hated each other their whole lives and they are miserable. Don’t become them. Leave
When did it start and why? Have you sought couple’s counseling?
Sounds like an agency I used to work at
I would ask what you’re waiting for. Is there something that you see possibly changing that would make staying worth it? The situation as you described it sounds so lonely and hurtful.
The fact that you’re using the word “abusive” would tell me that you need to get out, even if it’s temporarily to work on things together from different spaces (not living together). You can’t work on a relationship when you’re being abused constantly from the other party. And if they’re not willing to do their own work, it’s not fair to you. Get some space, and put yourself first and decide what is best for YOU. Good luck!!
Conversation Starter
Man or woman, there are PLENTY of singles in Chicago looking for love. If you are afraid she's the only option: She is not!
You forgot to mention any good things, any reason youd stay. So even if there are some, you leaving them out (as you ask strangers to tell you what you probably already know) is telling. Sorry to hear about it though. It sounds sad. Feeling lonely is way worse when youre lonely around another person.
Conversation Starter
I am so sorry to read this OP. Sending you big hugs. ❤️
See a lawyer immediately. And get started on the divorce yourself.
I let work ruin my marriage. Seems if you aren’t around, you grow apart. And as devastating as it was and still is, there is nothing you can do when it gets to the point you describe. It is over.
Recently, I was nearly homeless after Covid agency closings as the divorce drained all of my savings and 401k.
Protect yourself as best you can. And get out of this situation so you can heal.
I had to empty my savings and 401k during the divorce. Then I got laid off twice in a year. I was living off my credit card while paying alimony with no income and nowhere to go.