My wife is giving birth in a few months to our first child. Should I take the full 16 weeks? Four months seems like an extremely long time. What about utilization and bonus? Getting replaced in projects and initiatives?

likefunny
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Is work more important than your child?

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My dad was absent a lot and drank a lot because of his feeling that he “needed” to do it to provide for us. I can say with certainty I would have preferred a happy, sober dad who was around waaay more than whatever dumb shopping sprees my mom went on. He ultimately became so miserable and drunk that he lost his job and most of the money anyway. Take care of your family. The job is a means to an end and the workaholics on here have it backward. No amount of money will ever fix my parents missing my graduation.

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So... You're feeling what every woman feels while giving birth? Minus the nausea, discomfort, postpartum depression and tearing up your body.

Take the 16 weeks. Be there for your wife and child. When you're old, your utilization is not going to take care of you.

likesmartfunnyhelpful

Take the full time, your career will still be there and your wife will really appreciate the help. I'm really hoping my husband decides to take his full paternity leave at the same time as me (there's been debate about staggering when we take it to extend how long before we need childcare), but I think I'm going to need the help while I recover

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During my paternity leave I missed work so much I started interviewing and found a new job

likefunnyuplifting

I’ve had 2 kids. I took a month after each was born, then the remaining 3 after wife’s mat leave was done. Fully supported by offering leadership.

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If there’s an option to take like 8 now and 8 later, that’s a great debate. Taking or not taking the full 16 weeks should not be a debate.

likesmart

My dude. I took almost 6 months and was promoted during my leave, got a sick bonus and given an amazing project when I came back. And I’m a woman. You’re good homie, go bond with your kid and enjoy this rare benefit!

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16 weeks? I'm sorry, but america wasn't built on handouts and "aww shucks I wanna see my kid poop in a diaper". It was made by WINNERS who deliver SUPERIOR VALUE TO CLIENTS. Last time I checked, most people on their deathbeds think about the incredible decks they produced that changed whole organizations and industries.

(Joking; please take it all and congratulations!!!)

likefunny

Like the sarcasm. In the deathbed most people think of presentation decks...hilarious!!

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Take it in chunks if you can, or all at once. Take it, enjoy it, and be with your family.

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Work will always come but moments with the newborn (good or bad) will not, so take the time.

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Or...hire a nanny? Taking care of a newborn around the clock is hard, tedious, mind-numbing, lonely, and boring. And newborns don't care who changes their diapers and gives them a bottle.
It's expensive, yes, but so are many other things, and it's worth every penny.

likefunny

Pm1 - i feel sorry for your children 👶

Take the 4 months. Help your wife as much as you can so that she can recover. Bond with the baby.

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Work isn’t going anywhere kids are young once. Take every opportunity to spend time with them.

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Can you split it? I did 8 weeks when the kid was born (mostly helping my wife recover) and 8 weeks after my wife’s leave ended (spending awesome 1 on 1 time with the baby) and feel good about it.

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This this! I think this is a wonderful solution!

YES! You will never regret that time with your kiddo. And once it passes, it's gone. And, like this place, the days are long but the years are short.

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Take at least 4 weeks when the baby is born and then use some (let’s say 4 weeks) when your wife goes back to work. Keep 4 weeks for some travel + staycation when you guys feel comfortable or when the baby is around 8-10 months. You have one year to use these!
That’s my plan. My baby girl is now 11 weeks old 😊

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This is the best plan!

To circle back on this, I did take the four months and it was great. Now back to the grind.

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Taking parental leave does not count against you for utilization (it's one of the few things that can modify the denominator for available hours). And it doesn't count against you for bonus or promotion eligibility. Know someone who made manager this cycle after going on maternity in the spring and taking the full time, know people who have made partner and SM in the same year as going on parental leave, etc.

Go be with your wife and kid. If anything, consider taking a small portion of the leave now and the rest later, depending on what your wife's leave schedule is and your family's overall childcare needs. Leave just has to be taken in the first year.

likeuplifting

There is a lot of BS on here about your financial situation being impacted after 4 months ? Its paid. You’ll be fine. I know someone that took 4 months off in back to back years due to back to back kids. Guess what ? They ditched their job, got a new one that pays way more than if they didn’t take any time off and stayed at their firm. You wont get an opportunity to take all that time off and chill with your baby. I don’t get as much time but IDGAF - its going to be great . Companies need good resources and won’t hold it against you for taking off if you bring value. People concerned about career progression impact most probably lack confidence.

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Take the time. You will never regret spending the time to bond with your new child.

likefunny

it is a special time you will never get back, take the 16 weeks without hesitation. special memories that will last forever

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Please be happy and acknowledge that you are blessed to get this benefit. TAKE IT. I left EY and my new company does not have this benefit.

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Take as long as you can get away with. There will always be work when you get back.

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