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Rising Star
As a woman, I’d say that her being “horrible, angry” isn’t right. You don’t get a free pass to be terrible to your partner when you get your period, no matter how much pain you’re in. That honestly is emotionally abusive. I would talk to her about it, and if it doesn’t change, consider couples therapy.
Oof, I smell some contempt here. Why can’t you say something about it? I’m a woman, and I would hope my partner would be willing to communicate with me about things that are making him unhappy, even if it’s uncomfortable and somewhat taboo.
If her PMS and period symptoms are so severe that they are interfering with her interpersonal relationships, she might be in really terrible pain, in which case she should see a doctor to try to lessen that pain.
The pill an option? My wife takes it solely due to heavy periods
Rising Star
^recommend this. It might also be a case of endometriosis.
Chief
My wife also initially started taking the pill to regulate menstrual cycles and have them be "less severe". From what I can tell it worked great, at least from where I'm sitting.
Can she get an IUD? That helps with heavy periods. She should get tested, there might be other things going on. PCOS or others.
I have a hormonal 5 years IUD. Before getting it, I was wearing a super tampon and super pad at the same time, 5 times a day. After the IUD, I spot for 3 days that's it. I could put a tissue and won't even leak (I use a tampon).
Before IUD, I had the pill and I was crazy to everyone around - horrible experience. Contraceptive works differently with different bodies.
Rising Star
Has she ever been diagnosed with PMDD? Or had vitamin levels checked? For me, supplementing iron and a higher dose of vitamin d has surprisingly helped a lot. Also, I know you’re frustrated, but remember how she might be feeling too. For some people, their entire bodies go crazy—strange inflammation, pain, dizziness, brain fog, anxiety, depression, etc.
Pro
^ PMDD is real. Birth control really helped me.
Enthusiast
I know this is hard to get through, but you have to understand periods are not a one experience fits all thing for women. It’s not okay that she’s mean to you but there are so many symptoms we can experience on our periods and they’re most of the time considered “normal” and it’s just a really uncomfortable time for some of us. If she can barely function on her period then she probably needs to go to the doctor because the pain isn’t supposed to interfere with life to that degree. Leave her alone for now but after she’s off ask her what her period is like and suggest seeing a doctor if she talks about it being extremely painful. That could possibly be endometriosis.
Wow, these comments are not it. You should be helping your wife address the root cause of this health problem, because painful periods are NOT normal. It could be endometriosis, which is solvable by a surgery to remove the excess tissue that is growing in places that it shouldn’t be. Urge her to see an OBGYN and get a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist who can address these underlying issues. Birth control pill, IUD, merely mask the problem, but as soon as you get off them, the underlying issue returns.
Chief
EY1 your reading comprehension is lacking. Reference the example I used. People, men and women, providing anecdotal stories empathizing with OP (who is a man), so cool it on the "men can't comment on this"
Rising Star
I second BA1, the women I have dated in the past who were on birth control had much milder periods than one who weren’t.
If that isn’t an option, then I suggest doing a little something for her whenever her time of the month comes… something out of the ordinary like, getting her some coffee or something to eat. I know that sounds like a horrible idea because she is raging at you and making your life harder but from my experience, the past SOs I have had really appreciated the gesture and it made the tension a little easier.
Well, I wish you the best!
What does she say when you rationally talk to her about it?
I used to bite my husbands head off monthly. I hired a holistic doctor and she recommended the supplement Sam-e. You can get it otc in the us. I’m such a happier person. It probably saved my marriage.