My work just had a retreat and I felt so out of place and uncomfortable. I tried to talk to people but was pretty much ignored and honestly it was really stressful for me, and the reason I chose a remote role was to avoid this.

Now we have yet another one with triple the amount of people, a 12-hour flight away. I have to be with them for 2 days straight and would have to room with someone I don’t know.

How do I not attend this and not seem like I’m not a “team player”?

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Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Are you me?

Seriously, I hate having to do those events and having to travel so much for them too. It all feels so strained and artificial.

Tbh, I've noticed no one cares if you're not really into it so long as you don't go out of your way to avoid the most important parts of the trip/event. I also use these situations to ask people about their backgrounds and they'll talk endlessly about themselves leaving me with little work to do from a social interaction perspective.

Drink some alcohol, let'em talk, and before you know it you're back in your room calling the wife and kids feeling much better.

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Sharing a room is seriously the worst thing. I have my work retreat coming up so this resonates with me as I have social anxiety. I think you should definitely make an excuse. Say that you have prior obligations that would require you to be back at home (friends graduation, family birthday,etc) . Or simply keep it vague. They won’t think too much about it.

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Ask if there is a way to get a single room and pay the difference. I worked for 10 years at a company that did a similar shindig annually and they offered single rooms if the occupant paid the 2nd half. Totally worth it.

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Sharing a room?!

Seriously awful. I would be looking for a new job ASAP, if this is how they expect employees to "budget".

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