{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Need advice for dealing w/ my mom. She constantly picks arguments when I bring up anything regarding my in laws. I’m pregnant and it’s my mom’s 5th grandkid and my in laws first (con’t)", "post_id": "61ad74bdbd2d77003236bbd2", "reply_count": 6, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Need advice for dealing w/ my mom. She constantly picks arguments when I bring up anything regarding my in laws. I’m pregnant and it’s my mom’s 5th grandkid and my in laws first (con’t)

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Tell her if she’s going to be keeping score, she’ll lose. Tell her less stuff. Get her off your social media. Meanwhile, your ILs can stand down too. You know what else this child is? YOUR first baby. Nothing comes before that. Fair is not equal. It’s fair for respectful and enjoyable people to get more of your time.

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My mom acted up so much during my pregnancy. Her behavior caused my BP to spike to levels previously unseen and my doctor thinks that damaged my placenta - they found microclots. My advice would be to take care of yourself and your baby first and foremost. Stress does horrible things to the body. Tell her to step in line or you’ll need a break from her.

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I brought up going to a family reunion on my husbands side and she flipped out saying I never come home. While I don’t go to my hometown I actually see my parents more than my in-laws. I just know when we have this child it’s going to get worse especially with it being my in-laws first grandchild and their excitement. How do I deal? Already stressful and still 5 mths out.

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Just hang up on her anytime she starts bickering. Text her “if we can’t talk without arguing i don’t want to talk. I see you more often than I see myinlaws, & if we are going to keep checkmarks and tally’s, I don’t want to hear it. I need your support. love you.” Side note: your mom has some type of insecurity or unmet need. Whether it’s because she’s getting older, feeling a lack of purpose, not feeling included, whatever it is. Address it. Adults can be big children too. And if communication isn’t a strong point, it comes out on whining and bickering

Good advice! Fortunately I don’t have FB, she has said I just block her even though I’m not on. So far the in laws have been nothing but supportive it’s just my mother being crazy. She did similar stuff at my wedding - told people I included my mil and not her which is not true. This time it’s my child and I’m struggling to deal with it.

Cut her out of your life completely for a few weeks - she'll wise up. A kid doesn't need that kind of presence in their life.

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