{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Need advice on hating your sibling’s significant other. My sister is polyamorous and bisexual (not judging- just giving perspective) and I’ve never liked the people she dates- they’ve all cheated on her or been otherwise disrespectful and treated her poorly. She is 21, and is now dating a 39 year old man who lives in an off grid cabin. From what I’ve seen he is basically a 39 year child. No responsibilities, does whatever he wants. No future plans. I’m concerned but don’t want to push her away.", "post_id": "5f2deac08053890020d3fa18", "reply_count": 19, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "58f7fc5fae9f610010f862d9", "bowl_name": "Women in Accounting" }

Need advice on hating your sibling’s significant other. My sister is polyamorous and bisexual (not judging- just giving perspective) and I’ve never liked the people she dates- they’ve all cheated on her or been otherwise disrespectful and treated her poorly. She is 21, and is now dating a 39 year old man who lives in an off grid cabin. From what I’ve seen he is basically a 39 year child. No responsibilities, does whatever he wants. No future plans. I’m concerned but don’t want to push her away.

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This is a good wake up call- I will let her be and let her make her own choices!

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It’s tough for sure- all I can do is stand by her and love her! Just hard to watch sometimes

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Who cares, let her date who she wants she’s fricken 21. I think all of us have our fair share of exes from our early 20s that we cringe at and she’ll be the same.

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just wanted to say think it’s really nice that you care about your sister! So many people seem to just not care or are afraid to say something. I personally would’ve appreciated having an older sibling tell me that I was dating a jerk back in my early 20s because I was totally blind to it until way later

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She knows I don’t like him but just disregards me as the judgy perfect older sibling who has their shit together. I just want her to be happy and be with a good person- and she picks such awful people.

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How many people has she dated? 21 is quite young to be cheated on more than once.

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This could be one of those boyfriends she’ll learn from. dating can be a process :/ just be supportive of her during this time

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Ohh now I see. You sound a bit judgy, sorry. Let her grow up!

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I know :( I’m judgy..... I’m just protective. It’s so hard for me seeing her get hurt by these people

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What does her being polyamorous and bisexual have to do with your feelings about her significant other? It says a lot that you felt the need to mention those things to actually state that you dislike her partner. Is it really about the partner or is it about her choices..... by the way if she’s polyamorous it’s not cheating lol

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How does cheating work in a polyamorous relationship?

This is her first polyamorous relationship- her other two were monogamous boyfriends.

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Update: she called late last night, she has really bad anxiety and couldn’t sleep. She has some health concerns and smoked weed, and it makes her anxious and paranoid about dying and gave her a panic attack. I just want to give her a hug. Ugh. She’s also upset because the guy she’s seeing is also seeing another woman which she agreed to but now feels jealous because of the past trauma of being cheated on. I just want her to feel happy and calm :(

Absolutely. We also have divorced parents with a pretty traumatic story, so I think there is a lot of hurt around SOs being with other people. I wouldn’t ever discredit someone choosing that as their relationship, I just worry about her specifically because I think she has a bit more growing to do. I don’t want her to feel jealous or insecure and not be able to voice it to her partner when those may be valid feelings for her

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