Need an honest opinion, please don’t be judgemental! Husband has a demanding job (Finance) and literally his boss doesn’t believe I’m PTO. Holidays are sometimes slower so we’re able to take actual international vacations during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years (4 day trips). We were hoping to go somewhere during New Years weekend.

My SIL texted me (brother’s wife) and said her baby shower is gonna be January 2nd. I’m torn between giving up a trip with my SO (Cont)

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Tell SIL you have a trip planned. Not worth missing that vacation time just to go to a shower.

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Send her a nice gift to make up for missing it. But go on vacation w your husband.

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Tell them you already have a trip planned. Obviously the timing sucks, but do what’s best for you!

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Hands down take the trip with your partner… Honestly they won’t miss you at the shower.. so you won’t be in a pic (that doesn’t even have the baby in it) .. send a present and visit another time .. better even..offer to babysit for them later once baby is here… plus maybe they will have more kids and you can go to those

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As someone who miscarried earlier this year - I don’t think missing it is a big deal. Just send a gift! Trip>a few hours celebrating when you could celebrate later one on one.

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and my SIL’s baby shower. For context, we got married last year and couldn’t travel due to COVID and we’re going to start trying for a kid next year ourselves so traveling after that might be harder. SIL and a miscarriage earlier this year so this is her rainbow baby. I’m so happy for her but so torn!

And this is where judgement might start - I never understood the point of baby showers? Again, I’m someone who wants to have a baby but is it an important milestone (like a wedding)? I don’t see myself having or wanting one. We are having them over this weekend for thanksgiving and paying for everything. We were going to go see them once the baby is here (March/April) And my mom apparently might have a 2nd shower later on (we’re Hindu). So….??? Am I terrible for not feeling guilty for not prioritizing her shower? Halp!

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Go on your trip and send a gift.

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Def the trip. Take her on a girls day to make up for it.

Do what’s best for you. If she’s the type to take it personally then you need to talk to her or draw boundaries otherwise!

Take the trip 💯

You can always take her out to dinner or do something special with SIL on a different day. Go on that trip.

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