{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Need some advice. I’m 21, my partner is 29. We have a son together. As I get older, I realize I don’t know if I’m ready to settle down completely. I know that sounds crazy, because I am a mom, but I want to travel around and my partner thinks it’s not doable with a family. I also want to eventually move out of state to explore other opportunities, but he’s not interested. He thinks we are just at two different points in our life. \n\nIs this a reason to part ways?", "post_id": "60772dae985c50002e4da0ce", "reply_count": 10, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Need some advice. I’m 21, my partner is 29. We have a son together. As I get older, I realize I don’t know if I’m ready to settle down completely. I know that sounds crazy, because I am a mom, but I want to travel around and my partner thinks it’s not doable with a family. I also want to eventually move out of state to explore other opportunities, but he’s not interested. He thinks we are just at two different points in our life. Is this a reason to part ways?

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Your SO doesn’t think you can travel with kids? Honestly, travel is a fantastic thing to do with kids. It exposes them to other places, cultures, languages, etc. I don’t get why some people view kids as a ball and chain. Yes there are additional expenses involved and it takes a little more effort, but IMO parents shouldn’t shut down their lives. They should bring their kids into it and help teach them things. I wouldn’t say part ways solely because of that, but sounds like you both could benefit from counseling to help discuss parenting styles and life expectations.

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Mom or not you are YOUNG, do what makes you happy and if it means him not being in the picture as a romantic partner then break up and find the man you deserve.

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I'm in my 30s and plan to travel when I have kids. I don't think this is an age or life stage thing, but rather a lifestyle thing. Does he even like traveling (sans kids)? There are some great blogs of people have been traveling for years with kids, starting from baby years. I'm a bit troubled by the fact that he is shutting down all ideas. Is there some room for compromise? Also you didn't mention how much you love this man. I don't want to presume anything from a few lines, but it feels like you're already leaning a certain way in this relationship.

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He’s the one that sounds young! But really, this type of inflexibility could come from a place of insecurity. Talk to him, find out why he’s being all black & white about the situation.

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I'm one of 4 and my parents traveled with us internationally every year of my life! My first flight was at 6 months to the UK from the US and I've been traveling ever since :)

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I think this may feel like a huge divide to you and your partner but as someone who has been married for almost a decade, I wonder if maybe you’re both just focusing too much on extremes. You may be thinking that to be truly happy, you need to be completely free to travel anywhere you want anytime you want and move out of state etc. He on the other hand might think that for him to be truly happy, he wants to grow roots and stay where he is. There is a VAST middle ground that includes traveling and moving while also staying put for continuous periods of time that could work for both of you. Do you truly believe that there is no compromise between the two of you that would meet both your goals sufficiently? With the very little information we have from your post, it sounds like you’re both too inflexible in your thinking (but of course that may not be true with more context).

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Please note too, our son was unplanned. We didn’t really talk about having kids prior to him. But he is a fantastic dad and we would be able to co-parent effectively. I also don’t know if im being reasonable. I know I’m young. Just hard to figure out

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You have a son, but that doesn't mean you can't do any of the other things you want to do in life. Travel and bring him with you - living different places and experiencing different cultures, languages, and foods will be a significant and important formative experience. I vote travel, and if that means parting ways, so be it.

Agree with A1, inflexible is the issue more than age or lifestyle choices. You can want different things but you want to be with someone who wants you to be happy.

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