{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Need some advice on being managed out. My manager is not happy about my work this year, which I will take my share of accountability. He is constantly gaslighting me in meetings, give specific instruction to de prioritize certain tasks and yet pull me in to a call to pick a very small detail to ask me to explain said task, or spend our 1on1 to lash out over Mis-interpretation of my choice of words. How do I manage this situation while actively interviewing, which may take 1-2 month at least.", "post_id": "602a91f95d8192001b254dd7", "reply_count": 8, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "5a68d8a869dea30018cc079e", "bowl_name": "Women in Finance" }

Need some advice on being managed out. My manager is not happy about my work this year, which I will take my share of accountability. He is constantly gaslighting me in meetings, give specific instruction to de prioritize certain tasks and yet pull me in to a call to pick a very small detail to ask me to explain said task, or spend our 1on1 to lash out over Mis-interpretation of my choice of words. How do I manage this situation while actively interviewing, which may take 1-2 month at least.

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I agree with the other advice offered. I do have an additional suggestion. After meetings, especially those where priorities have been set or direction given, you should follow up with an email that summarizes what was agreed to at the meeting and specifically ask that person to respond if they have a different understanding. In my experience that approach cuts down on the gaslighting. Take care of yourself. Remember it is them and not you. Good luck with your job search.

likesmart

Network internally, especially if you have mentors at the firm -- how long have you been in your role? Focus on other areas where you want to learn and grow, outside of that team, do not focus on your discontent with your current role. Be upbeat and deferential to your manager, because they will likely call him. Make friends with your HR recruiter. Apply to 10 jobs a day externally. Hang in there! Managers like that will ruin your confidence over time and you deserve better, you will find better.

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Just went through a similar situation - different set of circumstances - but daily survival and coping is your top priority. Focus on everything outside of the job to maintain a sense of reality and your confidence. If you are able to move internally - network and apply to postings as much as you can. I’d also focus on external networking and positions as well - not knowing what kind of feedback your boss may give someone. Take walks, talk to your work friends that know you best - this will end and you will move on. For the time being - just yes your boss to death and try to maintain a non adversary demeanor while you manage your own timeline the best you can. Hang in there.

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Thanks everyone, just providing a brief update, starting with another team in the same company in 2 weeks. Can’t wait 😜

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So glad to see this! Best of luck.

Yes! I can totally relate! It's so demoralizing and unproductive! I also follow up to document what was discussed on emails. I hate doing this sometimes, but I just end the conversation quickly and say "ok noted, I'll keep this in mind for next time." Or I ask for clear feedback and if he can't give a clear answer, I understand he's just annoyed in general and it's not personal

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Agree with everyone.s comments. Document and follow up with meeting notes. Take walks and focus on positive things. Don’t let one bad manager change you. Stay strong. Good luck!

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Thanks everyone for the kind advice!

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