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Experience: PE Ops VP / interim PE COO type with spouse, young kids, house, dog, etc.
1) Truly collaborative and mutually internalized expectations between you and your partner about what is reasonable to expect from you during this stage in your lives together. Regularly reassess this together.
2) Take a personal inventory of what you need to do this sustainably for as long as you plan to be doing this. A lot of people think of it as a foundation (X hours of sleep on average, daily quick workout, weekly 1:1 partner dinner, weekly church, weekly therapy, X amount of 1:1 time with kiddos, etc.) and then a small number of higher order self-actualization levers (hobbies, interests, etc.). Set those boundaries with your team and accept the tradeoffs. Re-evaluate and optimize regularly. Be patient - this takes time to get right.
3) Remember that life comes in phases, you can’t have everything at once, and there will be tradeoffs. Invest in the relationships that will give your life meaning as you age while you’re working towards setting up your family financially.
4) There are a lot of ways to make a good living, so there’s no shame in doing something else if this doesn’t align with what you think will truly give your life meaning.
This is a fantastic response - the only thing I would add is that use money for time, outsource as much as you can, cleaning, cooking, errands etc. You will need to balance the amount of time vs quality time. I don’t get to spend as much time as I want with my kid but I try to make it as valuable as possible - being present with no phone.