{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "New parents - how are you balancing work and childcare demands? Please share your tricks!!!\n\n It’s been 14 months since our first child and still struggling. Been waking up 4am to get work done, but plans often get derailed with unforeseen circumstances with childcare needs. And not to mention burnout with long days of staying up, for childcare, home and work routines.\n\nContext - male here, M, working spouse, 14 month baby, started daycare for few months now, no immediate family support to help.", "post_id": "6103eb9cfda8a8002485d4a6", "reply_count": 19, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

New parents - how are you balancing work and childcare demands? Please share your tricks!!! It’s been 14 months since our first child and still struggling. Been waking up 4am to get work done, but plans often get derailed with unforeseen circumstances with childcare needs. And not to mention burnout with long days of staying up, for childcare, home and work routines. Context - male here, M, working spouse, 14 month baby, started daycare for few months now, no immediate family support to help.

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Get a nanny, that worked for us. We were wary of sending the little ones to daycare.

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Our nanny is vaccinated and with limited outside interaction for the little one, it felt like the safest option. We changed our entire basement into a preschool type setup and it works great. No distractions for me at all.

OP - I have been there and if you are doing 50-60+ hours a week, there is no way you’ll be able to manage anything at home. You are putting your long term health at risk. The only way is for you to scale things back work or find a job that allows you time for family. But it will get better, hang in there!

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I’m fearing the same and seriously contemplating leaving consulting for this very reason of travel

Just need to send your kids to daycare full time homie. My 5 year old was home with me full time from April 2020 through early 2021 because of COVID. Source: 30 yr old manager with a 2 yr old, a 5 yr old, and a pregnant wife

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For 8 months after I returned to work post maternity leave, I worked 9-5 then 8-12 or 2am sometimes. This was with a live in nanny. My husband was a medical resident and MIA at home for much of that year. It was the hardest year of my life even with the help we had. After 8 months I moved to the client and cut out all evening work after 5. Made a HUGE difference in my mental sanity, my attitude toward my spouse, how much I enjoyed spending time with my kid.

uplifting

Long story short, you need a solid support system if both parents work (esp long hours). If you don’t have family or friends that can help, you need to rely more on daycare or a nanny.

Thanks all. One clarification: baby goes to day care. Problem has been when he falls sick (which happens a lot with day care) and he has to be kept home, is more demanding, wakes up more often in the middle of night, etc. team is generally understanding but mostly younger or too old folks to completely relate with what is happening.

When my daughter falls sick, we cannot send her to daycare and has to stay home until she is symptom free for 24 hours AND is COVID negative. So it typically lasts a week and happens pretty much every month or so. My wife I work in shifts and as soon as we determine she can’t go to daycare, we compare calendars and figure out how the week is looking. We move meetings as much as possible and stack them in the am or pm and alternate work in shifts. We log in later at night and work a few hours to make up. The struggle is real, but need to make it work. As I mentioned earlier - we just have to show up for family. Work is always secondary.

Maybe move to a daycare with less kids? One of those house ones where someone just watches a few kids in their house?

Oh that’s pretty small I guess. I’d look into that backup day care benefit Deloitte has, then

Honestly they just need to build immunity. My first in a non-covid era was sick often but eased up 4-6 months after daycare started. Got way easier after those few months. I will say with my second mostly during covid he had gotten sick less (not entirely) but significantly less given the mask usage at school. I don’t recall having to take as much time off. Parse out the sick days with your spouse and literally just take them off - your mental health is not worth the long hours. That’s what sick days are for and everyone just needs to deal. You will become more confident about just sending that sorry I’m out of office today email the longer you are a parent. Alternatively use the backup child care option Deloitte offers. You can have someone come home, wear a mask and watch your child on sick days. You pay $6/hr and Deloitte pays the rest. You get 30 days a year.

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