{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "new relationship of 3 or 4 months.... my boyfriend has a big beer belly / dad bod midsection that i find rather unattractive at times...i make suggestions and hints that he should take better care of himself and changes to diet (he exercises a little) but nothing has changed and he definitely binge eats. also says he’s always been a lil chunky. \n\ni don’t want to be with a man who doesn’t take care of themselves. what to do? just sit around and wait?", "post_id": "5f65826c99ba8f002b63979c", "reply_count": 59, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "58f7fc5fae9f610010f862d9", "bowl_name": "Women in Accounting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

new relationship of 3 or 4 months.... my boyfriend has a big beer belly / dad bod midsection that i find rather unattractive at times...i make suggestions and hints that he should take better care of himself and changes to diet (he exercises a little) but nothing has changed and he definitely binge eats. also says he’s always been a lil chunky.

i don’t want to be with a man who doesn’t take care of themselves. what to do? just sit around and wait?

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Been with my boyfriend for 4 years - he was sort of fit when I met him and now he has a full dad body which doesn’t really bother me at all. I go to the gym 4-6 days a week so I’m in a pretty shape compare to his belly lol l told him he needs to work out for a full one year before our wedding date if we were to get married. Let the man do his thing + you can be the more attractive one in the relationship ;) . If it really bothers you, just tell him bluntly. It’s been 3-4 months so what’s the big commitment? Good thing is he’ll prob most likely never cheat on you since he has dad bod lol

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EY9 I think we’re secretly best friends, just haven’t met in real life yet! At least you BOTH started working out !! It’s hard to get my man off the video games 😂😂 here is to both of our manz proposing to us soon LOL

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maybe try and go on active dates! maybe go hiking, indoor rock climbing, even walks. that’ll maybe even help you see if he doesn’t want to do those things maybe you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t live an active lifestyle. i got my bf a apple watch for his birthday and now we’re always competing against each other who will burn more calories that’s an option or maybe not buy him one since y’all are new in this lol. also when i watched documentaries of unhealthy food and the effects it has in your body it made me shift my idea of thinking when i try and go for more sugary foods, also could help!

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Get another bf, shallow girl, and hope you never get chunky and dumped. You need to work out what's important in a relationship.

likesmart

Taking care of your own health is important in a relationship IMO. I’d say he Needs to take care of his own problems and self control before getting into a relationship.

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It’s only been 3 or 4 months. You’re clearly not attracted. Cut your losses and move on.

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Well its only been 3 or 4 months. So was he really fit before and let himself go? Or has he always been like this?

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Agree with all of the above. Relationships don’t get easier over time, they get harder and take work but if you don’t have a solid foundation to fall back on (i.e you’re not madly in love with who they are right from the get-go) when times get tough, the relationship will crumble. This is coming from a 30 year marriage that of course had times when things weren’t ideal - and in fact I almost called it quits because of my own selfishness but we worked through it and it had a lot to do with being able to look back as to why we were together in the first place. It doesn’t sound like you have that foundation. Just because he’s “nice to you” is not going to matter later when you’re dealing with some stress in the relationship. I can almost guarantee that you’re going to bring up your view of his body or your view of his lack of self care in an argument and that will be the end of the relationship.

He most likely isn’t going to change unless he wants to change but You’ve made hints and suggestions. The next step is to sit down and have a talk about what’s important to you and why it’s important. You need to be prepared for both sides of possibilities and what your next next step is. Good luck.
Don’t stay in a relationship hoping someone will change. If he was trying to change you, you’d probably feel a certain type of way about it, even if it’s for your own good.

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If it’s not a hell ya, it’s a hell no! Onto the next girl

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Been married for 13 years and I actually like my guy’s extra junk in the trunk than his slim bod when we first met. 😉

likehelpful

Propose going keto together

helpfullikefunny

Ok negative nelly

likefunny

Don’t expect to change him. Even if he gets his shit together and loses weight, chances are he’s gonna drop it again when you get committed or married. People’s weight habits aren’t likely to change in adulthood unless they go through a significant mental revolution. You either take him and love him as he is now, or move on to the next.

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Good lord why did you start dating him in the first place? You shouldn’t enter or remain in a relationship trying to change your partner.

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Why is she shallow?!! Being physically attractive is an important factor. If it really bothers you, move on. Especially if he isn’t doing anything about it, I wouldn’t expect him to change bc that’s what I want. Maybe it doesn’t bother him and he’s content, so let him be content! Also, there are plenty of great ppl out there! Don’t lower your standards because you think you won’t find anyone meeting basic criterias! You do you!

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Why are you with someone you’re not attracted to???? - He didn’t develop the belly in a month or two so obviously you need to grow up and get your priorities right. You don’t have to be in a relationship because everyone is doing it. This is pretty silly in my opinion. Stop bothering the man and go get the rock hard abs you want and therefore deserve. Let him find his fluffy partner. Damn

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I just think the motivation to work out and have healthier life habits ultimately needs to come from within. Otherwise he could feel like he’s doing it “for you” even though he is the primary beneficiary of a fitter and healthier body. And like someone already said, even if he does do it he could resent you for it. So if this is something really important to you or even a dealbreaker, I agree with others that suggested you walk away sooner rather than later!

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Does he share your same interest /values in terms of appearance and fitness ? If it's something that is going to fester and get worse, now is the time cut it off. Most peoples bodies don't get more attractive with age...

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If you’re trying to change him this early in the relationship, I feel like it won’t last :/ If the beer belly is an actual issue for you, I would break up because it will only get worse especially once he has kids and gets older. Maybe talk to him about it first before you bring up breaking up.

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Ooh girl I did that and it was a road to nowhere. People don’t like to be changed.

helpful

You have every right to want an attractive person. Obviously he is not attractive to you so you should assume that things will remain the same (or get worse) as time progresses, and move on. You don’t have the right to expect him to change for you, especially if he’s always been big. I’m sure it’ll be easier to hear that his weight is an issue at month 3 or 4 than year 3 or 4. 🤷🏽‍♀️

smart

Then don’t be with him?

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Never try to change a man. It backfired on me big time after 5 years. He resented me and cheated on me. Walk away.

I’m sorry 😞

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