New staff and just graduated in May. I have been living at home and haven’t moved out yet (mix of money and Covid). My 17 year old sister is at home all day long and doing drugs with her boyfriend, right below me. They make a ton noise and are super disrespectful every time I ask them to be quiet. On Monday, I involved my mom and she basically told me to go f myself when I asked her to address the issue and finally be a parent. She lets her run her life to the ground. My sister physically

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You're right, get out.

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You need to move out as soon as you can. Get a roommate. I know money is an issue but you can probably find a fairly inexpensive living situation. It’s not worth the risk of staying there any longer.

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I did this a couple years ago. Legit took 2 years of no contact with my parents and only my siblings for my parents to stop being codependent of me. My siblings had to grow the eff up much faster than their friends. But, I got my sanity and mental health back. Now, I’m just much closer to my siblings bc they can understand and can empathize than they were when they were younger. It’s such a effed up situation. But your mental health and physical health comes first!

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Wow, look seems like you got out of the poor life cycle your family is in. It takes a really smart and strong person to do that. I also work at ey. As a staff you will be working long nights and stress and you have to study for cpa. This will not happen in your family home.

Look for a studio or a roommate and leave. You have done everything you can do, and who knows, maybe when you sister sees you in your own place she will want to change. I’m not sure where you live but nj had reasonable rent.

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Agree with EY 4 try to find a new living situation ASAP. A lot of cities saw huge drops in rent and tenants that are unable to pay, therefore there are a lot of vacancies. Talk to different places and tell them what you can afford and they might work with you on pricing.

You need distance from the situation. No need to enforce full cut off immediately but you do need to get out ASAP. Moving out doesn’t necessarily mean cutting off contact all together. For your well-being and the success of your new career, you should find another place to live.

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Also if you want to talk DM me. I can’t imagine what you’re going though! Happy to unmask and serve as a resource within the firm.

likeuplifting

Please move out ASAP. This is not a healthy situation for you physically or mentally. You must take care of yourself. Once you are on your own, you will have some space to decide how much contact you want to have with your family. You do not have to decide that today.

Please also get yourself into therapy. The damage that living in this kind of household does to you is lasting and will have an impact on you for your entire life unless you deal with it. A good therapist will help you be able to deal with the full force of the toxicity of your family.

Thinking of you and sending you light and love. It’s so tough going through this but you can break free! 💕

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Quickly to that point – EY offers five free therapy sessions through EY assist

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I admire you. Definitely distance yourself from them. The goal of life is to surround yourself with positive people and doesn’t look like your family is helpful. If you continuously be around them you are going to get burnt out eventually and may become like them. Get out before that happens.

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Hope you’re okay - the attack sounds serious. You may want to get looked at (or at least a virtual consult) if you think you have a concussion.

Move out ASAP. You don’t have to decide to cut anyone off right away but you should get away from an abusive situation, and a time out might not be a bad idea. It feels less permanent but you can make a time out as long as you want it to be.

Good luck.

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Please call EY assist and they can help you develop a plan ASAP. If there is anyone on your engagement you feel comfortable confiding in you should do that also. I am happy to help you if you want to message me privately.

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Came here to say this - the firms offer a lot more resources than we sometimes realize. The firm will help you get out of an unsafe home situation, it's just a matter of finding the right person to help you navigate. Hopefully there's a partner you feel comfortable reaching out to that'll help you find the appropriate firm resource quickly. Wishing you the best

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Move out asap. Literally go look for new place now and move out even if you have to make financial sacrifice. Your relationship with your mom will improve once you are more in control. And you can cut your father out. I did 15 years ago and zero regrets. My mom eventually did leave him too. Now my entire family cut him out.

likeuplifting

Reminded me of me when I was younger :) youre not alone. Move out if you can and if not, just stay in your room as much as you can and get noise cancelling headphones.

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Can you rent a room for a few months

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I am so sorry to hear this. You are so strong for going through all of this. You need personal space and need to move out. Maybe instead of cutting out your mom completely after you move out, check in with her. You set the boundaries, you make the rules! Keep your head up! I think removing yourself from that environment will help you both mentally and physically!

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Please more as soon as possible!!! I’m not sure where you live, but I’m sure you can find a reasonable apartment maybe a little bit farther away from whatever city you are in. Roommates are also a good option! There are lots of girls on bumble bff looking for roommates right now.

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Move out

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Most people move out at 17...it wont be glam, you likely will have roommates or a crappy studio...it is a rite of passage struggling a bit to make it on your own

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Attacked me and punched me and now I think I have a concussion. I didn’t want to fight her and I told her multiple times to leave me alone. My mom blamed me for the whole thing even tho I literally did nothing. I cant get the respect I deserve or the little things I ask without being told and made to feel like a selfish monster. I will be trying to move out within the next year to get away from all this. I want cut my mom and family out of my life because this is just an example of the constant stress and toxicity I’ve been put through my entire life. I feel like crazy and no one understands me.

And just to air it out even more. My dad is the real toxic one and has lived a troubled life. He was in jail when I was younger, cheated on my mom, had a brain tumor, and now he’s just an alcoholic. My mom has stayed with him through all this and subjected me to things I should have never been through. She’s actually a good person but she still brings on a lot of toxic and negative energy into my life. My dad is verbally abusive to me and I don’t really care to be honest. I always knew I was going to cut him off when I do leave. However, I never thought I would have to cut off my mom. After this event on Monday, I’m very hurt and lost. I don’t know what decision to make for myself but I know the best would be to let her go too and start fresh when I leave.

As a new staff too, I'm so sorry. That's sounds super hard especially when starting a new job that you want to succeed at. I've already gone low contact with my family once, but also had to move back in for Covid reasons. If you want someone to just vent at esp for the cost of living on your own and bs of family feel free to hit me up.

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