" no one is going to be at your funeral giving a eulogy about how many requisitions you've filled"

- an irate coworker in Recruitment

likefunnysmart
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Bruh sometimes I meet employees and am all pleased to meet you and they're like, CR you hired me. And I'm like ahhhhh right. Even the warm and fuzzy part of the job blurs together.

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I mean... they aren't wrong 🤷🏾‍♀️

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Related Posts

Any recommended courses or books on customer care/cust success analytics or marketing analytics in general?

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I’ve posted this poll to my LinkedIn and have received some interesting insights…let’s see what the Fishbowl community has to say!

“How many minutes before a virtual interview’s start time do you join the video link?”

• Less than 1 minute - Like!
• More than 1 minute - Comment!

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Can anyone outline their agency’s day by day pitch process?

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Still waiting for the housing bubble to pop 😐

likefunnyuplifting

Is it fair to say to my boss I’m going to wfh due to the awful BO from another person in the office?
I honestly can’t focus and makes me feel sick!

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Does anyone use WiFi remotes to control their TV or AC? Any reviews?

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Hi fishes,
If I accept the offer now from CTS in oneCognizant portal, Is there any possibility to revise my offer in future with the counter offer I am holding..?
DOJ : Aug 22

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Transferring to the DC (Tyson’s) office in a few months and have the option of working in either the Government and public sector or commercial audit. Which group should I choose?

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Organization's contribution towards well being component ka kitna % claim kar sakte ?

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What types of non-profit organizations do you think could use SCM skills? All I can really think of is food banks.

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is NielsenIQ chennai location good to work ?

Can you book business or first class if the flight is 5 hours?

likesmart

Do Facebook/LinkedIn/Adobe recruiting process require your MBA transcript? I know Google does for any degrees obtained within the last 36 months and wondering if it’s common practice across tech.

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Six figure salary earners, how many hours do you work a week on average?

likeupliftinghelpfulfunny

A&M will place unvaccinated workers on unpaid leave starting 10/31

likesmarthelpfulfunny

My joining date in Accenture is 25 Oct They are saying if I join in September I will get additional joining bonus currently it is 50K Can anybody tell how much will they give If I join on 30 Sep?

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In what circumstances is it a good idea to leave big tech and join a startup? I'm getting a lot of interest from late stage startups but I'm not entirely sure if it's a good idea to leave big tech and join a startup as a individual contributor.

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Additional Posts in #OverheardAtWork

I have seen many people become leisure in notice period and doesn’t bother about co-workers. Now, I am on notice period and want to do same but don’t feel doing it since management sucks and my co-workers will be ones who will feel pressurized as I have been in same place before. Can I get suggestions how to handle the time? should I repeat what others have done to me?

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“I love her feet”

likefunnyupliftinghelpful

former coworker, when asked if he read part of a system manual as instructed (part of his training): "I don't do non-fiction."

funnylikeuplifting

"We're getting two girls and a gay goat."

likefunny

“Leaders choose everyday who they will be in the face of opportunities and challenges.”

Post Photo
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My station manager totaled our only company car that we all share to get around and then quit the next day :)

funnylikesmart

Partner: this reminds me of a great book.. it is really very great I highly recommend you get this book.

Associate: What's the deal with (name) and that book. He just keep recommending everyone read it. He showed a chart from it in the last client touch point.

Manager: He wrote the book.

funnylikehelpful

Requester: let me know your availability for a meeting
Me: 10-11am
Req: how about 12:30pm or 5pm?
Me: no

(Meeting ended up at 10:30-10:45am)

likefunnyuplifting

I used to get lit on LITS (Long Island Iced Tea) ummmm you didn’t use lit correctly. But I’m starting to use the word extra correctly. LOL #facepalm

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Currently struggling with lack of motivation. I’m in my 3rd year at my firm and when I started I was hitting 9+ billable per day before I left the office. Now, the saying: when there’s no consequence for poor work ethic, and no reward for good work ethic, there is no motivation” hits home. Over the past two years I’ve seen the opposite of indispensable employees. Yet, they sit at the same table as I do and make more. Any advice?

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“Where are we on the website pickles?”

*Pixels

We were talking about website tracking pixels… Highlight of my day.

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Me: scrolls through meme website during 1:1 zoom call bc it’s a bad habit

Chill coworker laughing at me: You know we can see everything on your screen because of the mirror behind you right

Me: 🔥🔥🔥😃🔥🔥🔥

funnylikeupliftingsmart

What would you do?

Your teammate with the same title and pay as you is at your desk all the time for help. I'm definitely open to helping - but sometimes "help" is basically the whole job - it feels like I'm doing both jobs lol and it almost feels unfair that we both get paid the same or very close (Colorado, so pay transparency). The teammate has been with the company for longer than me.

likefunny

Boss2 (American): “Why can’t I just do THIS?”
Boss1 (American): “Because it just complicates things! Why do you have to go and throw a spanner in the wheel?!”
Boss3 (British): “Spanner in the wheel?? You’re mixing up your metaphors. It’s spanner in the works.”
Boss2: “What’s a spanner?”
Boss3: “In ENGland where we speak ENGlish, it’s the item you mistakenly refer to as a wrench.”
Boss2: “So – a wrench in the works?”
Boss3: “Yes, it’s a tool that screws everything up …like you.”

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Has anyone who’s Asian been told “you need to develop soft skills” or “leadership skills” when asking for a promotion to be a people manager? If not, how about “you need to keep expanding your scope and we’ll see what happens”?

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It works! I’m going to eat some bacon now.

likehelpful

"she doesn't have good boobs" †
👀

likefunny

“I am fun and classy. Like Hillary Rodham Clinton.”

likefunny

The partner I work for got chewed out by senior management and was told that her practice is a shitshow and she needs to get it together. Yikes 😂

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Partner 1: "Turns out I had a mini stroke."

Partner 2: "WOW!"

Partner 1: "Yeah..."

Partner 2: "...Should you even be here..."

likefunnyuplifting

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