Nonaccounting question. Is it odd that my grandma doesn’t call or send a card for my birthday? She is 83 and in good health (mentally and physically). She lives alone and is on a fixed income so I understand not sending a card since she has 8 grandkids and 10 great grandkids and cards are so expensive now. But is it asking too much for a phone call on my birthday?

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Not odd. She has a ton of grandkids and she’s old. You’re also an adult now

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What’s your relationship normally? On normal days/weeks, do you call each other, visit each other? I get wanting to feel especially loved on your birthday, but I think the answer depends on your relationship the other 364 days of the year too. Plus I just tend to give older people a break 🙂

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Got it. Well, no, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for her to call you on your birthday. But I honestly wouldn’t take it to heart, especially if she’s happy when you call and visit her. I don’t know what it’s like to be 83, but I’m guessing no matter how good a shape you’re in, it’s still a lot of mental energy to keep up with that many kids and grandkids. Maybe she makes the extra effort to call her kids, but not the grandkids and great grandkids.

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Every year for Christmas I give the grandparents a calendar with pics of the grandkids. I make it on Shutterfly and it’s their favorite gift. Annnnd….I add all the family birthdays and anniversaries. Another reason they love the calendar!

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You’re talking about your parents though, right? OP is talking about her grandparent. I feel like I’d give my grandparent a break moreso than my parent, for remembering all the dates!

Not weird at all. As you grow older you realize birthdays don't mean much. Your own and other people's too. You tend to focus on the big ones

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Do you do the same for her? Did she used to call you/send a card for your birthday?

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Yes I send a card AND call her - she is my only living grandparent left.
She used to - I can’t remember the last time. Me and my siblings are 10-15+ years older than my other cousins so I feel like once me and my siblings reached a certain age she felt like we were old enough that she didn’t have to anymore. Now she focuses on my younger cousins (they are in their 20s). She also doesn’t really recognize her great grandkids (mine and my siblings kids).

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No it’s not unusual in my family. Has she been sending cards or calling you on your birthday in previous years? Maybe she forgot.

My grandmother never wished me happy birthday as far as I recall when I was old enough to remember my birthday. She lived in a different country but she didn't love me any less. Our bond was strong and she would always give gift us with her love and warmth and scrumptious cooking whenever we would visit and we would also keep in touch over the phone. So it honestly never occurred to me that I didn't get a birthday wish or phone call from her. Sometimes people don't put so much emphasis on birthdays.

Thanks for the perspective ladies!

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