{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Not performing so well at work and in a fight with my wife at the moment. When things are fucked at both ends of the work/life spectrum and it’s hard to feel anything other than completely hopeless.😔", "post_id": "5c955f77ed286b001bb7ace3", "reply_count": 51, "vote_count": 97, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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Not performing so well at work and in a fight with my wife at the moment. When things are fucked at both ends of the work/life spectrum and it’s hard to feel anything other than completely hopeless.😔

likeupliftinghelpful
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Unsolicited advice - apologize for being a jerk and say you are stressed as your not performing well at work and you’re taking it out on her. You know that’s not an excuse, and appreciate your support despite you not being the best partner. You couldn’t get through this without her.

Sigh, then ask her to help you think through what’s happening. Then talk it out and be engaged.

Remorse, appreciation, vulnerability. BOOM.

Then sexy time.

Source: have long-term partner, works like a charm.

likefunnyhelpfulupliftingsmart

I was I that situation a year ago.

Talk openly to your wife about what you’re going through and find ways to diminish work stress.
I quit my last gig since I became someone that I hated (terrible mood swings, alcohol abuse, etc).
I apologized to her for being such a screwed up asshole for the last year and am on the road to recovery. Keep your personal life a priority - it’s your family who will be next to you in the very end, not the boss barking about client performance

likehelpful
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Prioritize wife please

likesmarthelpful

I feel for you OP, that's a tough situation. Stay strong friend, you'll pull through with time!

like

Best thing I ever did in this scenario - took two weeks off work , took wife on vacation and talked things through . It’s not easy when this happens - but the only long term solution is to prioritize the wife

likehelpfulupliftingsmart

Agree VP1. Hit the reset button

like

It’s Friday - go figure out the issues with ur wife. Work will always be there!

like

Hang in there OP! Your wife loves you more than the job ever will.

likeupliftingsmart

Thanks everyone for the truly incredible torrent of support over the weekend. We made some progress and had a good time over the weekend. Thankful the supportive community we have here. Hope everyone has a great flyday and week ahead!

likeuplifting

Hang in there man! Not sure if this would help but looks like you are on the solid partner track...

likefunnyhelpful

Not kidding, check out the depression/anxiety bowl. Lot of good support and conversations like this.

likeupliftingsmart

Don’t take work out on your wife. This profession is very hard on spouses. Try to rise above work troubles and focus on understanding why your wife needs to fight with you. You will be fine at work — remember that you must be pretty damn talented to be where you are, and wherever you end up will be in the 1 percentile. But mess up your marriage and it really doesn’t matter how well you do at work, you’ll be miserable.

like

Feel for you. Been there. Uber hard.

likeuplifting

Ugh, similar. My team also had a couple of huge screw ups over the last couple of weeks and I took a deserved beating, and got into a major fight with the guy I was dating tonight. Taking the night off, having a few beers tonight, disconnecting, and will see what I can start to fix tomorrow. But tonight is breather night.

likesmart

I feel for you.

Your wife was probably there for you before your current employer and is with you for all the good and bad. If you take some time and prioritize her, instead of a job that won’t be there when you retire at night or when you’re sick, you will find that she is worth more than any job.

Celebrate Life, Celebrate your Wife! There’s thousands of employers and only one soul mate.

likeupliftingsmart

Write her a hand written letter telling her how you feel. Let her read it by herself and then see if she’ll talk it over after. Giving her time to process the info without potential miscommunication has always worked for me and my fiancé

like

I honestly used to do this when my mom was mad or disappointed in me (I snuck out a lot in high school 😬) and it’s always been the best way for me to communicate and get my point across

Family > work always. Take time to go out and discuss it in an area where you both won't feel defensive in a solution driven approach and apologize. No Ego! Good luck

likehelpful

I don’t get on here often and I’m making my very first post. I just wanted to say, I appreciate the post and all of the responses. There’s some goodness here. Rooting for you!

like

Take a couple of shots

like

I don’t know for sure what you’re going through. I’ve had my share of challenges at work and at home at the same time and I know every situation is unique.
All I can say is: You Can do it! Things will get better. Prioritize. Do your best and things will work out for good.

like

I feel for you OP, are you open to therapy? It could make a huge difference and if things start getting better at home the work front will improve.

like

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