{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Not proud of it, but I was hooking up with a co-worker/friend pre-COVID. I left the state when wfh started and we still talk every day, but nothing romantic. He made it clear at the beginning that he didn’t want to date because we’re co-workers. Stung a bit when I went on a dating app this morning and saw his profile. The rational part of me knows we’re only ever going to be buddies and that if he actually wanted me, then he’d make something happen. Looking for advice on how to get over this.", "post_id": "5f6e4bb42208c5002a7fd38e", "reply_count": 17, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Not proud of it, but I was hooking up with a co-worker/friend pre-COVID. I left the state when wfh started and we still talk every day, but nothing romantic. He made it clear at the beginning that he didn’t want to date because we’re co-workers. Stung a bit when I went on a dating app this morning and saw his profile. The rational part of me knows we’re only ever going to be buddies and that if he actually wanted me, then he’d make something happen. Looking for advice on how to get over this.

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Stop talking to him on a daily basis.

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Stop being friends, then? You want to protect yourself and get over it right? Just separate yourself altogether. Be clear with him about why. It doesn’t mean you have to be nasty or anything. Just set the boundary and keep it.

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I’ve been this girl SO many times. You need to go no contact. He’s getting the emotional (and previously sexual) benefits of having you in his life but without any commitment. For your own sake, you deserve time to heal and move on from him. You can either just stop being available OR tell him that you care about him as more than a friend but that he doesn’t share those feelings and that you need some space. Personally, I wish I would done the latter.

likesmart

You’ll get over this in time, but find yourself a hobby that consumes your time. You can also find another guy to date.

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I’m one of those people who did get into a covid relationship in my hometown haha I broke up with the guy a few weeks ago. Agree with you re hobbies though

Date other people and talk to him about it

likefunny

You are contradicting yourself, how would he make anything happen when you err direct and said that nothing can happen dating wise in the beginning? If you want something to happen you need to communicate it, no one read your mind.

Currently don’t have any plans to go back before we’re back in the office. But I would if he asked me to do so.

Reclaim your time. Tell him that since he can't give you what you want/need, you're not going to be his emotional crutch anymore. Stand up for yourself. You need time and space. Continuing to answer his emails and texts and calls won't allow for this. (PS: if you are like any of my friends, or myself, you will really hurt yourself first before you figure this out. Being "needed" can feel so addicting. So try not to irritate your friends too much with your bullshit in talking about this over and over again until you actually cut him off. Your friends will be there long after you figure out his shit and move on so treat them like the gems they are).

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