{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Not sure if I’m just venting or asking for advice. With the current situation with COVID19, I am no longer traveling every week for work. I’ve come to realize that my husband (CONT)", "post_id": "5e856714ee6433001b4e70cc", "reply_count": 10, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Not sure if I’m just venting or asking for advice. With the current situation with COVID19, I am no longer traveling every week for work. I’ve come to realize that my husband (CONT)

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OP just because this isn’t the same extent as cheating or a drug problem or something doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to be bothered by it. My ex was a huge gamer and it was a large reason why we broke up. It’s one thing if a guy only games as a hobby and can separate it from the rest of his life, but it’s another when it permeates life and creeps into your one on one time, at dinner, on dates, etc. Have you talked to him about setting up boundaries for your time together? I think it’s perfectly reasonable to want devoted periods of time where there are no electronics, no distractions.

likehelpful

Do you feel like he’s being a good partner to you? I don’t think you should put emphasis on his video games. Instead think are your needs being met? If they aren’t talk to him about that.

helpfullike

You need to put your foot down. He can’t just walk away because he doesn’t like what he’s hearing. When I talk to my SO about something that bothers me I always start with the action, how I felt, and then what I need. Sometimes, yes there is a compromise, sometimes it’ll end up with him apologizing or with me doing it. Either way, walking away from something that clearly bothers you is not cool.

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👀

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.... is addicted to video games and I just don’t know what to do or say since he is so absorbed in the world of gaming. I guess I never noticed as much since I was gone most of the week, but since we are both working from home I’m more aware of what he is doing every day. This sounds like such a stupid thing to say and be annoyed with since I 1000% understand it could be worse but it still bothers me and I’ve tried communicating to him about it and he denies it or gets really upset that I even bring it up. I’m not sure if it’s the actual act of video gaming that he is doing, or his behaviors because of it that are bothering me. When we eat dinner he has his headphones on to listen to Twitch, when we go out he’s playing a game on his phone constantly, since he’s playing so late at night he is always tired during the day and sleeps in or takes multiple naps during the day only to repeat the whole process. His job isn’t as demanding as mine, so he’s only been working 1-2 hours a day and will either game, watch Twitch, or I catch him sleeping and neglect tasks around the house that could be done during that time. I’m putting in 60 hour weeks and trying to get my MBA and just feel too exhausted to even bother any more. It’s like we’re living as room mates and I don’t feel comfortable watching TV in our living room since I always get this feeling he wants to play and will keep asking me if I’m done. I’ve just started spending more time in the bedroom.

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Again, I know this is stupid. He could be cheating, or an alcoholic, or taking drugs. It’s just something that bothers me and every time I bring it up I just end up feeling guilty. Even before he goes to bed he’s playing a game on his phone.

You know that your feelings about a partner who isn’t pulling his weight during this difficult time are stupid?

Try to distract him! Maybe he just games so much cuz he doesn’t know what else to do. But you really should communicate all of this with him and make him see your point. I would be frustrated too!

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