{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Not sure what to do about my SO who has gained weight, won't stop eating poorly, won't exercise, and rarely wants to have sex. I've tried EVERYTHING - supportive, understanding, direct, upset. Help!", "post_id": "5722d69c801c2b0e00506eed", "reply_count": 65, "vote_count": 8, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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Not sure what to do about my SO who has gained weight, won't stop eating poorly, won't exercise, and rarely wants to have sex. I've tried EVERYTHING - supportive, understanding, direct, upset. Help!

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How much weight are we talking OP? As a husband you need to be a solution for her problem, not become a part of it. Life is a journey of like 80 years. Losing your way for even 2 years is so small and insignificant in the long run. You just got married; that's the long hall. That's saying you would be there for her in the future. Find out what's bringing her down and has led to this change, with counselor help, and then begin to help her heal. Take a step back. You are in a good place now, but what if something happened and you suddenly weren't? Would you want her to give up on you that easily?

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Depression aside (that is a serious issue and I am definitely not qualified to address it), why don't you guys make lifestyle changes together? For example, plan a date where you go on a hike or go to an adult tumbling class or something fun and active. Go grocery shopping when you're home and cook a healthy meal together. Find ways to incorporate health and wellness into the time you spend together. But I agree with others that she should see someone to address the more serious underlying issues

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^ ok we get it

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I am constantly eating healthy, and even trained for the 2016 NFL regional combine

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(Thank God this shit is anonymous)

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Been married 7 years. Wife was going that route about 4years ago, so I went into the fridge and threw everything out. Decided I'd be the shopping for house every sun. Signed both of us for crossfit and literally dragged her out of bed on fridays and Saturdays together and I leave it to her to go 1 time during the week. It worked, she's down 40lbs and goes by herself three days a week to crossfit. We still struggle with bad food choices, but everyone is happy.

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We've been married 1.5 years, I am the husband and lost in this pursuit to getting our life back on track.

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Does your SO have depression or is currently going through something that is bothering them?

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Lol so that's a yaaaaasss 💁

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Are you hot? Find a side bae

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Many many more years into marriage than you.... Counseling - if it doesn't change - leave. Do it now- the longer you wait the worse it gets. The exercising is whatever but the lack of intimacy will kill you both.

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Seriously considering getting a counselor involved...

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Put a lock on your fridge

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Thank you very much for the advice FBers! I am in this for the long haul, and like many of you have inferred, it's not the weight but lack of intimacy that's killing me. I'm gonna try and tackle this head on. Hopefully, things will change for the better.

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Sorry - a little drunk - and I am beyond lost. I have no fucking clue where to turn next, what to say, what to do... If anyone else experienced this, any advice is helpful. I'm not looking for a side bae.

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While this situation is not your fault, it will help to stop watching porn. Porn has changed the way we look at women and can have a detrimental effect to any couple.

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Alright D OP, which city do you live in? Mind you I've also already had a couple glasses of wine

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Reading through the posts and OPs responses. I think the issue with the weight is not the problem. It may be what you brought up here but I bet there are other things bothering you, sounds like you both are overall not happy. I've been there, My ex had depression and I am like you, generally happy and in shape. She also put on weight and as much as you try to understand, unless you personally have depression, you never will and it can be very draining on a relationship. I eventually ended it because I began to feel depressed always trying to make her happy and it wasn't fair for either one of us. Overall I think the depression is the cause for the weight gain and the reason you are frustrated, not the weight itself ( if she was the same person you married you wouldn't care).

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Have you tried setting the example?

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What hurts even more is that I ask, "how can I be more attractive to you?" And she's like, "you working out, I don't even notice..." I feel ignored or pushed away.

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