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Many many more years into marriage than you.... Counseling - if it doesn't change - leave. Do it now- the longer you wait the worse it gets. The exercising is whatever but the lack of intimacy will kill you both.
Been married 7 years. Wife was going that route about 4years ago, so I went into the fridge and threw everything out. Decided I'd be the shopping for house every sun. Signed both of us for crossfit and literally dragged her out of bed on fridays and Saturdays together and I leave it to her to go 1 time during the week. It worked, she's down 40lbs and goes by herself three days a week to crossfit. We still struggle with bad food choices, but everyone is happy.
Not to be that guy... But at some point take the hint and leave
P2 - I tell her every chance I get, believe me. I'm not trying to "get what I'm after", except for getting back to normal. I cherish her and think/tell her she's gorgeous. I do agree however that there's a self perception issue.
I have the lack of intimacy with my bf, too. And i told him that he doesn't turn me on much. My honesty did hurt him and his self-esteem, but i did it for our own benefit. I also figured that we are emotionally distant, and that he doesn't look at me as if he desires me. Sometimes sex is good, but most of times i feel like his sex toy, no romance. That's the reasons from the perspective of a girl. Thinking about counseling too.
OP you sound like a great person. She is lucky to have you!
My boyfriend has been battling depression for the past year or so and it's one of the toughest things to deal with for both parties involved. Hang in there, OP!
Absence makes, sorry.
Dude just tell her you've noticed her changing in personality and interests and her lifestyle doesn't seem to be as d healthy as it once was. Let get know you care about her and if there is something up, you spills looks to talk about it even if she just needs someone to vent to. Then see if you can team up with her to get conquest whatever it is. Don't attack. Make her feel comfortable so she wants to change.
Would love to talk about it
P1 - I agree. I'm so close to doing that, it's literally the last resort "break glass" option. I don't want to hurt her...
Not yet, K1. Is likely a next step.
Anyone have any insight? If not, I thank you for listening and letting me vent
Hang in there bro! Really wish I could help. Hope some other bowlers can provide insight.
Thanks D2, hopefully this is just a phase
Also, maybe talk to her gfs?
I'm going to pick up her erg from her parents house today - she used to row in high school and college
And I'm gonna hold off on the talk for a couple weeks - we just moved into our first home this week.
@P7 - thank you for your perspective. Her dad is dropping off the erg today :) phase 1 complete, and starting tomorrow morning we are going to jog
Please all - remember - it is not that I'm not attracted to my wife - she has changed emotionally and it has me very worried. I think her stagnant/non-active state is a part of the issue - obviously not the root cause, but it's a starting place.
Sorry OP I didn't mean it in a bad way. It sounds like you are doing everything possible. I've been you and it's really hard.
Hahaha P7 - here's the amazing part: I haven't travelled regularly in 3 years!