{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Offered dream job in another city, with $90k raise. But wife is in grad school for another 15 months. Long distance for that long sounds shit, anyone successfully managed it?", "post_id": "58f4c470f768cf00100f7caf", "reply_count": 34, "vote_count": 11, "bowl_id": "5565cfca8b2b9a03009acf57", "bowl_name": "Advertising", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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Offered dream job in another city, with $90k raise. But wife is in grad school for another 15 months. Long distance for that long sounds shit, anyone successfully managed it?

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What in the world are you making now that going to a next level in another city is a whopping 90K increase? Anyway, if you are able to get such new salary because you're grossly underpaid now, then you'll likely still be able to achieve very similar jump 15 months from now. If this is because somehow you got a job at least two levels above your current one, then that's a strategic career opportunity to catapult yourself higher faster (provided you are qualified and willing to take on the added responsibility). Think through that as I don't know the context and how it all stacks against your specific married lifestyle/relationship. If you are the type of people who can survive being apart for extended period of time or not. Money can always be made anew, jobs come and go, but relationships feed the soul so depending on your values, always prioritize meaningful relationships over money. Life is extremely short.

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My husband and I were long distance for a year while I finished doctoral coursework. Then for shorter periods after that when I did 1-2-month research trips or summer teaching at my Uni. It wasn't so bad. I went down every 2-3 weeks in the fall and every 2 weeks in the spring. It really does fly by. But I agree with pp- if you or she is emotionally clingy, it won't work. Some days you'll be tired and busy or she will and you'll talk once at 10pm and be like, you good? Cool- love you, talk tomorrow.

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Marriage is temporary, money is forever.

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That 90k raise can help you see each other often. Distance is always hard, but worth it for dreams like that.

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Between you settling into a new job in a new city and her finishing up grad school, 15 months will likely go by much than it sounds for the both of you.

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No kids, and she would definitely move. I'll probably take it, her summer semesters are online so she'll be able to do school remote for 6 of those 15 months. just sucks at the thought of LD for that long and that 90k split across 2 sets of bills

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My take away here: OP found a way to humblebrag about a $90K raise.

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Update, since no one ever does on the bowl. Took the job, with 2 month corporate housing, 2x expensed flights to see wife, and flexibility to work remote a few days a week if workload allows (we'll see if that happens).

For the other questions. The gig is a jump a couple levels to a very senior position client side for a mid size client I'm a loyal user of. Mid market to mid market so cost if living increase is minimal, just going to a state with income tax from one without. Onward.

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Much faster*

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Negotiate for a relocation package that includes 3 month corporate housing while you "apartment hunt". Also it depends if you plan on staying at this place for more than 2 years - if you're planning on settling down there for like 5 years, one year of double expense isn't so much in the grand scheme

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Damn would she be willing to move after?

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What's her opinion on the matter?

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An anonymous brag about a large raise is not really a brag, is it? Seems to me Director is looking for real advice.

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@OP - 9 months long distance (if for 6 she can be with you) is nothing if you're going to be together for another 50 years. And in those 9 months you can plan to see her at least every 1-2 months.

If you guys are committed and trust each other you can make it work. Don't be discouraged!!

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Yes, you can make it work if you are both determined and not clingy. With that raise, you can see each other often, and think of the advantages of living apart - you can work as late as you want to, which is always good at a new job ;)

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Been doing long distance for years. It works if you're both cool with it and mature enough to understand work/ life outside of each other can sometimes get in the way. If either of you are clingy, it's not recommended.

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Director are you moving from a small city to a coastal city? Because $90K will disappear in a blink.

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You obviously interviewed to the point they are offering you a 90k raise. By the fact this is even a post, I assume you didn't learn decimals and you are getting a $9k raise. If it is $90k... Pretty sure your wife can quit grad school....

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No one should quit grad school for $90k ....

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The vast majority of people on this website don't make anywhere near $90k. What in the world are you waiting for? This is going to help you two start your lives

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Vast majority? God I hope that's not true.

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