{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "One of my best friends always talks about how she loves using afterpay so she can buy things, like stuff from Sephora, and pay later when she has the money. She also has mentioned that she is working on paying off her credit card debt. It hurts me to hear her say these things because I feel like she’s putting herself in a situation that can easily escalate and she won’t be able to get out of debt. Should I kindly mention something or is it not my business?", "post_id": "5ef350b627e053002a277b69", "reply_count": 20, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

One of my best friends always talks about how she loves using afterpay so she can buy things, like stuff from Sephora, and pay later when she has the money. She also has mentioned that she is working on paying off her credit card debt. It hurts me to hear her say these things because I feel like she’s putting herself in a situation that can easily escalate and she won’t be able to get out of debt. Should I kindly mention something or is it not my business?

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Hmm, since she’s a best friend I would probably talk about you planning your personal finances in general and future goals like buying a house, buying a car etc. Maybe that might cause her to open up? Rather than directly talk to her about it?

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I agree with D1. Talking about your own approach without putting her down may help her realize she’s on the track. I actually did this with a friend two years ago and she ended up turning her savings around and has a completely different view now!

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None of your business and DO NOT live with her. Please.

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It’s true... living with someone you’re not aligned with on with finances can easily break a friendship. It’s happened to me before and to many of my friends.

Mind your business.

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I wouldnt move in together but i would have a conversation of your worries for her. Id easily be able to tell my friends i am worried about certain ways they handle money and offer to help (giving specific ways i could help) and then leave it alone. Credit cards should be used as a way to gain good credit scores but almost never for when you dont have the money for something.

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I was team “mind your business” until I saw you’re moving in together and relying on her for rent. I would have a serious conversation with her about her spending habits and ask her what he plan is for making rent every month if she hasn’t found a job. If she can’t discuss it rationally or gets mad and doesnt want to live with you, I think that’s pretty telling.

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Honestly, I think it depends. How close is your relationship? Would your friend be open to advice? I also think it also depends on how you approach the situation and where she is financially. Credit card debt is no fun, and the best way to avoid it is to prevent it from the get go. If you guys aren’t that close, then it’s none of your business. If you have a very tight friendship, perhaps you can find a nice way to approach that doesn’t sound accusatory / judge-y.

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I want to chime in on the moving in with your friend part. Since the lease is already signed, PLEASE discuss who will take the responsibility of opening up the utility accounts for your unit. Usually a credit check is done for your internet and electric. If this is the case where you live (and from what you mentioned about her barely making it onto the lease), then you might automatically have to open up the account under your name, which could possibly put you in a situation of having to pay the entire bill yourself or letting your credit get affected in case your roommate is unable to pay her half. Either way, have an open and clear conversation before you both get keys to the apartment. As much as I want you to reconsider being roommates with your friend, I can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to. I had a horrible roommate experience in my early 20’s, so I’m passing along the wisdom.

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For some additional perspective we are a couple years post grad and she is currently on unemployment. We are moving in together in August and she almost wasn’t able to get on the lease because of her credit/financial situation.

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Sounds like she’s already not prioritizing the rent.. if I were her I’d be saving all I can right now because getting a job in this climate is hard and I’d be worried about covering the rent while unemployed in a month

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If she is your best friend I’ll mention it. It’s good looking out. Just be mindful of the approach and tone

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