One of the people I manage is failing...hard. I (and some others on the LT) have tried hard to foster success. We gave him a softball internal project with a solid PM. Contd.

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And oversight from a manager with a knack for wrangling tough people. He was doing well enough until it came time to deliver and then he stopped taking or incorporating feedback, missed important meetings, was defensive and blaming when called out, and ultimately asked the manager to finish the deck & send it out because he needed to leave early to get ready for the holiday party. This is a pattern, but we’d done a lot of coaching and prepped him for this project so well. He seemed like he was receptive but it is clear that nothing stuck. I know he’s gotta go but I still feel like I failed and it sucks!

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You did what you could. Should be no surprise.

Update: the feedback session did not go well. Lots of blaming and defensiveness, telling me that I am a bad manager and that I am being vindictive. I know he’s lashing out but it really is an awful feeling.

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Did you ask him how he thought it was going first and how he thought his performance was first and what his thoughts were of the team was first? Before launching into his ambitious excited passionate contribution to the team out of the box before fitting or finding his place with the team? I'm guessing he thinks he has lots to offer, he has lots of ideas he thinks could makes things better... he has all of this "stuff" he wants to put his fingerprints on. The first 30 days is to start learn and watch,not change. 2nd thirty days is master existing process. 3-3rd is how we work as a team. 4th 30 days is how it all comes together. Then I want to hear all of the great ideas.write them down. Dont forget them. Etc etc etc.

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