Opinion: Does a guy need to get permission from a girl's father before proposing?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Absolutely not. As a woman who has lived on her own for 7 years and has a strong relationship with her parents, I would be appalled if my boyfriend felt my parents input was necessary to our marriage.

like

So basically: depends on your personality, your girlfriend's personality, her parents' personalities, your culture, her culture, her parent's culture. Every person and family is different with different expectations and traditions. No one will know better than you and your girlfriend what is right for the two of you in the context of your relationship and each of your relationships with her parents.

like
Recent IconRecent

Varies by culture. But it's a nice way to get stakeholder buy-in before the big steerco

like

Yes. It shows respect and maturity. If he says no, still propose, but you did the right thing.

like

In this day, I would "ask for his blessing" rather than asking "for his permission". It's classy yet puts the lady as the ultimate decision maker of her life.

like

Just propose to the Dad. Cut out the middle man.

like

Yes. It's the classy gentleman thing to do. And even if after you've tried and they don't seem to respect you and still think you are shit then fuck it. Go get your girl!

like

As a female, I'd say no. I can do whatever I want, I'm an adult, I don't need my parents permission to do anything!

like

Please only do it if your girlfriend wants you to. I would have been incredibly offended if my husband had done this. I'm an independent adult capable of making my own decisions, not a piece of property changing hands.

like

Maybe not if she hates her Dad.

like

Have an amazing deck (no pun intended) to present and signed off by her parents that your go live will be smooth and should there be any issues, you have your mitigation plans in place. But yeah, stay classy.

like

D5 is part of the problem with this country

like

I asked, and I don't regret it. Imagine if you were in her parents' shoes; it'd be nice and courteous to get a heads up. Most likely, they'll say yes, unless they really hate you lol.

like

I didn't. I asked her mom to help me pick the ring a month in advance and asked her dad to help me throw a surprise engagement party. My gf (fiancé now) wanted her parents involved but not be the decision makers. So, involve them in the plan/process but don't explicitly say 'I want your permission'

like

Moms matter too. I'd be offended if my husband was ask for permission, but I wasn't (assuming we had a daughter).

like

I asked both mom and dad. But she's close to both. I didn't think of it as permission. More "let's all get excited". They did.

like

It's not a beautiful gesture- it implies you are a piece of property that your father owns. Did your husband also offer a dowry? It's an outdated and offensive tradition that should have died several years ago.

like

D5 - shut up.

like

I asked both of her parents - her father was appreciative and her mother cried. It was an awesome moment.

like

Would actually prefer if he didn't. Why bring someone else into the decision? I already know whether my family likes him. At this point moving it forward is between him and me

like

Related Posts

I feel so far behind all of my non-lawyer friends. Everyone is getting married, having babies, and buying houses, and all I have is esq behind my name... I feel like my career is my marriage and my baby, and my student loans are my house payment... anyone else feel that way? Also, if anyone used to feel that way but dug themselves out of that whole, any advice?

like

My first therapy appointment tomorrow! I’ve never dealt with depression before having my second kid and my PPD was/is rough! Filling out the intake form I basically had to list out all the things I’ve dealt with - rape, mom issues, death in family during pandemic, kid hit by car, ppd, and a slew of over things… looking forward to working through these things over time, whatever that might look like.

like

Need some advice bc my work and personal life intertwine. Too much sometimes. Father is my boss. Wife is adamant that when folks come over they take off their shoes. Tried to ask my family...cont

like

For those of you that have taken parental leave, how were your quota, territory and opportunities managed while you were out and when you returned? Any tips on how best to navigate this time as an AE taking parental leave?

like

Anyone have tips for making a long distance relationship work? After losing his dream job to COVID layoffs, my boyfriend just got a great job offer that will take him 6-7 hours away. We both want to continue our relationship but are apprehensive about what our future will look like now.

like

Anyone in the area a fan of going to outdoor breweries or bars during these times? Lost most of my social circle after a breakup a few months ago (they were her friends since I was always traveling and couldn’t meet others or join groups) and with covid it’s been difficult to find ways to meet new people and make friends so figure I’d try here. trying to find some people in the area to hang out with in smaller groups! 23 y/o M if that matters

like

Any book recommendations to gift my cousin sister? She studied (masters) psychology and is a trained classical dancer.

like

Need advise, My ABCD boy friend is asking to have a vacation in one of the lifestyle / open relationship resort in Cancun. I have never been to this kind of relationship and don’t know.. contd..

Any parents here who really struggled after the arrival of a new baby? It was a planned pregnancy, but after 2 years of this new life, I feel trapped and I feel like this is not the life that I wanted. I know I'll probably get a lot of mean comments here. Looking for anyone who might have experienced this to share their stories/outcomes/what you did. Thanks.

like

I had a miscarriage on Tuesday, my first. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. The Dr. was just as baffled by the timing, but here I am. My head is trying to be practical, but my hormones are raging. I feel like a stranger in my own body. How do women do this and work at the same time? I’m a freelancer, I’m so busy at work, I don’t feel comfortable talking to my coworkers about this. I’m trying to just get through the week but am really struggling.

like

Hi I am a female USDC SS level employee and would be on bench starting from mid September. I have received a generic email from RM stating that work from home is not allowed when on bench and have to come to office from 9am to 5pm. I am a mother of 11 months old and my family already had Covid few months back. Since my kid is very small i am not comfortable sending him to day care. Can anyone suggest how to get approval for work from home during my bench time. I am very much tensed

like

There is a baby in my home today. (Friends are visiting.) Help.

funnylike

Suggestions for car seat for airplane travel for a 5 Month infant (14 pounds). We have a Graco 4ever in the car.

helpful

Would anyone be interested in participating in a research study? The only requirements are to be a school district employee and have a child in the district with special needs. Please help!!!

like

Mid size firm peeps, what is your maternity leave policy? Wondering how comparable they are across the board

like

Went through three cycles of IVF last cycle we got pregnant, just found out we lost the baby.. trying to be strong for my wife but she is somehow handling it better then me externally at least , can't

like

I’ve been asked to weigh in on how to improve my firms parental leave policy. It’s currently 8 weeks paid for birth parent with an extra week for each year at the firm (up to 12 weeks total) and 2 weeks paid for non-birth parent. I’m in a major city, firm is a boutique that has been around a very long time. What would you suggest? Any studies or research you’ve seen recently on trends in parental leave policies also helpful. I’d like to have some sort of data to back up what I recommend. TIA!

like

Looking to move to San Antonio and we're looking at places in Alta Vista and El Dorado. Pros and cons? We have two kids under five, so looking for a nice family community with good schools.

like

Any good parenting book recommendations for a kid entering 1st grade? Read lots of the positive discipline series and found it helpful through the toddler stage but now looking for some practical parenting advise for grade school. Thanks!

like

My plan is to transition to Part-time or PRN (once weekly) to spend time with my baby before he’s no longer a baby anymore. I’ve had excellent childcare right now from my mom from 3 months to now-9 months of age. Now that my babe is getting older and learning so much right now I want to be present more for his neurodevelopment. My trouble is… I love the income I make full-time… What age was your child when you went part-time or stay at home? And why?

like

More Posts

Hows brillio yearly hikes ? Single digit or double digit

Looking for a career opportunity that I can make $100k+. I have been in dental for about 10 years and held a ton of roles ranging from front desk to operations and training. I feel like I have so much experience and an amazing skillset to bring to an organization but struggling to know where to go, HELP! **open to leaving dental

like

Any companies looking to hire GRC positions ?

I have 10+ years of strategy consulting experience and I’m interested in joining early stage startups, but their job listings almost never have generalist / consulting / strategy type roles - any advice?

like

Anyone working at USAA as a data analyst? I have an interview coming up and I was curious what you felt was the key to getting the offer USAA

like

For all those wondering whether status will be extended, I got an email today from Qantas saying that they are extending it by one year...

likehelpful

HSBC India Hello everyone,

My parents will accompany me while relocating to Kolkata, can I get the expense reimbursed for them as well. In offer it's mentioned for family but in structure it's written for spouse and children.

Anyone who can help me please?

HSBC India HSBC

What are your thoughts on COS clothing store? Last week was the first time, I heard of them and when I tried on their clothes, it was soo well made.

like

Any travel tips for Acadia? Must-sees or dos? Going this weekend, appreciate all help!

like

Is Lead Consultant a good profile in Infosys?

likesmart

Asking my friend to be one of my bridesmaids this weekend. Doing the others around Christmas. Should I have her wait until everyone has been asked before she posts on social media? Kinda seems like a weird rule unless that’s the norm now.

like

Anybody looking for a part time RN job rn? If yes, what areas are you looking for?

like

Hi everyone, I’ve been trying to land my first product design role and I can’t seem to get my foot in the door. I’ve asked mentors from ADPlist to review my LinkedIn and resume as well as my portfolio and I haven’t had any luck. I graduated from uni in 2020, was bedridden for a whole year which led me to fall behind and I’m embarrassed that I can’t seem to get a job after months of actively trying - I desperately need help as I’m on a Visa that requires me to be employed.
Any advice?

like

Currently reading Invisible Women. Very eye opening book and highly recommend for fellow males to read it.

likehelpful

UK Citizen based in Italy and looking to move in a Sales role ideally within SaaS in Tech, Fintech or Telco.

Experience in Ops & CS Management within VC backed start-ups, but fairly new to outbound sales.

Looking for a fully remote role and would love a referral.

Must ideally be in the CET timezone but I can be flexible with some overlap.

Anyone know for something?

like

Can we start a list of WOC Creative Directors? I was asked to recommend one for a special program my network is hosting and couldn’t name one. Which sucks.

likehelpful

What’s the NYC lit lateral market like right now? First year looking to move and not sure if I want to transfer thru my firm or switch.

like

Hi folks, Any idea on wlb at @KPMG for Data Engineer role.

like

Any reviews about working at the Telegraph Media Group? What’s the culture like?

like

Additional Posts in Consulting

Any insights on London based firm with a Boston office called Clarasys?

like
like

Have a job opportunity with a company that I’m not particularly interested in culture wise, but the work seems like a great step in my career. What are some deciding factors you would consider cont.

like

we had a pre prep call (PPC) to prep for an important prep call, and now we need another PPC. when would the effing work start? FML

like

Anyone else trying to finally kick that nagging cough/cold before the break? Would hate to have any option short of “all the booze” while I’m on vacation.

likefunny

First Accenture analyst here severely underpaid need to move ASAP for financial reasons. I want to switch firms but I have no real specialty any advice or tips?

like

Most embarrassing example of "you're still presenting" you've ever seen?

like

I want to get my PhD, but all of the programs I want require a full time commitment for the first year. What are my options? Is a sabbatical an option? Or would I have to straight up resign? Utilization notwithstanding (I’m a GPS consultant)…is it possible to go part time? I completed my master’s full time while a full time Deloitte consultant. I know school can be done, but for PhDs they usually want you to also work as a TA. Additionally, I am not interested in online programs.

like

What are JFK lines looking like ? Would Arriving 30 mins prior to boarding be okay ?

like

Do you buy Christmas gifts for your friends?

like

Hours real talk. I've always been very "bill what I work" so that means light weeks I'm destroying my own utilization/billing initiatives instead. Meanwhile peers bill 40-45 regardless. Am I an idiot?

like

Best consulting firms in Nashville, TN besides the Big 4 and Accenture?

like

Anybody here at Carvana Co.? Is it looking like another round of layoffs?

like

Are the rumors of the heavy ACN strategy layoffs true? I've heard that new hires can get laid off before they even start...

like

what is typically consiered a good annual return for investing in stocks

like

EY what are you hiring in? Trying to break in.

like

How do I improve my sales skills? Any books or training?

like

Anyone have an recs for self help books that help with work anxiety? I've felt so low on the totem pole since I joined in 2015 that I rarely give any opinions at the office. Obvi this is (cont'd)

like

Are utilization targets (%) always based on 40 hrs/wk, I.e 90% utilization = avg 36 billable hrs/wk?

like

What are typical backgrounds for people who go into product management at FAANG companies?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal