Over the last two years my job has slowly transitioned from executive assistant to personal assistant. I handle my bosses external committee and board member schedules, medical apts, vacation plans, birthday and holiday party planning, children’s play and sports schedules, coordinate with his accountant, lawyer, doctors, etc, on top of normal business scheduling. When it first started it was minimal but now it’s an expectation. I work 60/65 hours a week w/o overtime since we’re WFH now. I feel..

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Yikes! I normally would NEVER recommend talking to HR (the corporate equivalent of being a cop, often) but depending on your relationship with this person, it could be helpful to have a mediator present. Do you think he’ll take it well? You do absolutely need to address this, but as we all know, no matter how valued we are, standing up for ourselves doesn’t always pan out. Even if there’s someone else in leadership you can confide in, they could be a resource. Best of luck to you - you deserve better, whether it’s more pay or to change the situation!

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How incredibly frustrating, I’m sorry you have to deal with all of that. It will be a tough conversation, but one you obviously need to have. When he has another personal request, you could let him know you’ll try to get to it by end of week, but it’s been difficult to stay on top of personal requests while working from home. You’re finding yourself completing the personal asks after hours and “I’m unfortunately not getting paid overtime while working from home.” Let him know you’re happy to schedule appointments since you manage his calendar, but will have to prioritize business needs over other personal requests and “I hope that’s okay.”

You might not be able to completely stop right away especially if he pushes, but take longer to get to those asks. Just think about how grossly he’s taking advantage of you if you start to feel bad. It isn’t right and he makes more than enough money to either compensate you or hire a house manager/personal assistant!

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Been there, as far as working full-time as someone's Extracurricular EA. I nipped it in the bud by transferring departments and working for someone else. Besides, in these days and time your Partner likely has a stay-at-home SPOUSE to handle THEIR personal responsibilities. Many Partners in big financial firms purposely make the decision to have the Husbands/Wives taking care of things on the homefront in support of the "money-maker's" career dedication. Nip it in the bud. You know you have options.

likesmart

Wow, unbelievable that someone would take advantage of the vulnerabilities we already have under COVID-19 pandemic. It is stressful enough having to deal with WFH their expectations. I would discuss this with who you report to Office Manager/Supervisor. This situation definitely needs to be address this. It should not be your job. You are doing the work of your bosses spouse.

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Review your job description. Did it say anything about personal work? Do not work overtime on his personal stuff if you are not being paid for it, either in salary or bonus. I’d pull up your boots and discuss it but know it may change your relationship moving forward. Explain, in writing, that you are putting in a lot of extra hours handling his personal business that’s outside your job description. While you are “happy” to help him with occasional personal chores you must limit your working hours due to your own personal obligations. See what he says, he may surprise you, or he may be a clueless narcissist.

You don’t say if he’s married or divorced. I had a boss a few years back who got divorced and immediately started having me do all the things for him his wife used to do. It got out of control pretty quickly and finally came to a head when he wanted me to pick up his kid at boarding school on a weekend and drive the kid out to his house in the Hamptons. Was so shocked I said no, sorry I have plans and besides that is outside my job purview. I had already started looking for a new job within the company, and I’d filed all the personal request emails in case he decided to fire or report me, which he did not.

Good luck!

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If you do not stand up for your value and worth, no one will. I had this very discussion last year when I realized I was making $15k less that my counterparts, doing double/triple the work. I spoke up with facts and my documented contributions (keep feelings out of it) and told him that I should at least be compensated equal to what they made (I also have a MS and 20+ y/e). My salary was increased beyond what I expected.

We have to be our own advocates, people will do what we allow and if we don't speak up for self, no one else will. Plan your conversation, back it with facts and let a trusted person review and help you prepare.

Good luck to you...you got this!

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This happened to me many years ago and sadly despite all my communications with the partner, HR and other upper management nothing changed. This wasn't apart of my job description when I was hired and he would just say he is much busier now and has less time for other parts of his day to day. Ultimately, I had to start seeking other employment. I am MUCH happier in my role now. Making more money and no personal responsibility. I will never allow that to happen again. I say speak your concerns but be ready to move on.

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(Cont) completely taken advantage of. How do I tell him I don’t want to continue with the personal stuff unless I’m paid for it. I know my company isn’t allowing raises this year so is it fair to ask for compensation out of pocket?

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It’s not an expectation, nor encouraged, that’s not the support model. Speak with your manager about pulling back and reestablishing boundaries.

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Document each task with the time & date for a week or two and then mark the percentage of each category into a full bandwidth chart. Request a meeting to present this to your employer to discuss an examination of your expectations. If it doesn’t get resolved within a another few weeks, report it to HR and request to change your reporting structure.

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