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It’s Father’s Day, but my dad won’t speak to me.
Enthusiast
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Additional Posts in #OverheardAtWork
Kelp. You know, its like the new kale.
Rising Star
It’s Father’s Day, but my dad won’t speak to me.
Enthusiast
Quarantine breakups are absolutely miserable
Kelp. You know, its like the new kale.
I think I would, quietly and 1:1, say to them that you overheard them in the bathroom speaking hurtfully about you, and it set you back. That’s all. Be silent thereafter. This is the only way mean girls will ever stop: is to be called out on their behavior.
I totally agree, they're jealous, have that 1:1 and put a mental middle finger in the air! Surely there are other ADULTS in the office. If not, it's ok to get away for lunch or break, that's your time. NEVER LOWER YOUR HEAD!
Women are mean. It's an attempt to feel better about themselves or their efforts. Please don't let their opinion of you become your opinion of yourself xoxox
That’s not stupid at all. I would cry too, for a few days lol. I’m very sorry that happened to you. I guess they think they’re still in high school. If you’ve interacted and considered them “friends” then I would express your discomfort because people need to be put in their place! I’ve noticed that people who talk about other’s physical appearance are insecure themselves, and they feel the need to gossip in groups because they’re too afraid to be alone with their own thoughts.
Exactly! Remember this is really a reflection of their own inner state and you could let that empower you to move on from their comments. Of course you can take action too be thoughtful about the approach you decide to take!
Pro
Well every conversation at work probably needs a plan and expected outcome. What would you hope to get out of bringing it up? What is the outcome you desire?
The only thing that sounds silly about this is two adults discussing a colleagues appearance at work! It’s totally normal to be offended by such a personal attack. How to proceed depends on a lot of details only you will know. If they’re people you want to be friends with, and you think they were just having an out of character snarky moment, it may be worth bringing up to each one tactfully. If it’s not a one off, and you know them to often trash talk others, then I wouldn’t bother. Some people are just mean. If they’re not really potential friends, just two bad eggs you work with, I wouldn’t even worry about it. Their opinions and comments are probably NOT a reflection of what most people at your new job think. Try to focus on getting to know other people, and avoid the negative bathroom gossips.
Just want to say, (in case you took it to heart) that you’re probably gorgeous and they’re threatened.
I feel like that’s considered a form of bullying and it creates a toxic work environment. I would definitely bring it up to HR.
100000%
I agree with A1, not worth bringing up if you don't see a worthwhile friendship in the future. I'm not sure how small or big your work environment is, but I'd personally avoid and not make a fuss. Let the birds chirp, you're there to work and make relationships with people who are actually worthwhile.
It's also not silly at all. I've been bullied at work and had my own life come down at me at the same time. It taught me you can participate in creating a living hell for yourself. Try to streamline your life, it'll hopefully help.
You don’t need their approval. They’ve shown their colors.
I know its easier said than done, but please don't take it to heart. Sometimes people just chat sh*t and probably don't even realise they are coming across as being nasty. I wouldn't raise it, as nothing good will come of that, but their cards have been marked, and you know more about them now and what they're really like and so can protect yourself. Focus on the others in the team.
What did they say?
Lol
You have to say something, don't be rude like them, but you can't let them push u around and test your boundaries or they will NEVER stop. If your boss was like mine you shouldn't expect to count on them either. I literally caught a coworker, the coworker I was hired to work with all day every day, talking crap about me at work and this person did not know I had walked back in the room and was standing right behind them. You think they would of figured out a more appropriate time to do that but clearly they didn't care cause that situation actually happened twice. I should of put my foot down the first time it happened. Not to mention you aren't there for them you are there for you. So many people in a work environment violate boundaries cause they conflate work relationships with family relationships and co-workers are not your family unless they are actually your family. But being around coworkers that pretend your work family is family just makes it harder when co-workers all the sudden stop acting like family. This part was the hardest for me, if I wasn't involved in the conversation others are having about me behind my back, then it's none of my business. Which is a blessing the lack of exposure to ignorant comments is better for everyone. But at the same time don't let me hear that crap, cause it's really unprofessional.
Don't say anything. Consider it a sign that they are not friends. Be pleasant to them, Be professional to them. But don't EVER trust them. People who talk negatively about your looks have an over-inflated perception of themselves. They're Narcissists. Don't change your behavior. Don't let on what you know. Be smart and watch your back. What you overheard was to warn you.
Talk to them — and their bosses. They’re contributing to a hostile work environment.
I say sit on it. Use the information to your advantage. Never revenge but knowing these people talk behind your back and most likely others can help you realize they are not your friends and therefore when it comes to recommendations you won't be naive to think they will be the type of people who you would put your neck out for.