{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Parent partners - how do you get help for your children while being able to take care of your business? Au pairs? Nannys? Family? Wife is pregnant with our first and trying to formulate a support plan so I don't fall too far behind professionally...", "post_id": "5f87789f60d09d00208e5f62", "reply_count": 33, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "5c133802e4f35d0012ad759f", "bowl_name": "Partners Only" }

Parent partners - how do you get help for your children while being able to take care of your business? Au pairs? Nannys? Family? Wife is pregnant with our first and trying to formulate a support plan so I don't fall too far behind professionally...

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We have a nanny 4-5 days a week. We both work from home now. There aren’t that many options: 1. One spouse quits job 2. Nanny full time 3. Day care full time 4. Grandma full time 5. Au Pair And unless it’s Au Pair with any of these options it still a ton of work at night and on weekends and don’t plan to get anything else done very quickly. Your old life is over now. (Parent of 11 mos old). We cook almost every meal BTW but use service Dream Dinners to help with a lot of them. Not sure what life will be like when COVID is over.

You could copy our approach which resulted in happy parents, happy kids, and happy clients -outsource the things that do not matter: grocery, cleaning, laundry, gardening - reduce no-value tasks to a minimum: online groceries based upon your standard needs; meal prepping - be there for your kids when it matters, reading bed time stories, brushing teeth, bringing them to their first dance class, attending a birthday party - get your kid in daycare so he/she surrounds itself with peers from an early age, learns to be social and that not everyone comes from his/her background - manage your work in the remainder of the time (youll be able to work at least 11 hr days if you apply the above) - and dont worry about the things others do but you don't. Most likely youll do fine.

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We had a nanny 40 hrs a week. I’m not a big fan of living arrangements with au pairs, but if you’re good with that, know several folks who are quite happy with theirs. Family wasn’t an option for us unfortunately (too far away), and I’m jealous of people who have that support structure. Congratulations!

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We have a nanny. My hours are much longer than my wife’s and having another person takes a ton of burden off her. It’s a pretty big expense, but easily worth it when the alternative is family misery.

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Female partner here, for first two kids we used day care. For the third kid, born five years later) we had a live in nanny for 2 years. We used aupaircare.com and had a good experience. (Although paying payroll taxes and having to buy aupair a car / with insurance does get complicated.) Also, I have always had a cleaning service that comes each week since early in my career.

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Raise your kids

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Single mom partner here...minimal travel...my nanny was 730 to 730 each day....(shorter Fridays) and my goal was to get home before that...which happened a good amount....but not the majority of the time. Weekends and busy season nights either I’d line her up or his Dad would cover. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I expected it to be .....it’s like anything....you figure it out. Finding good/the right nanny is key and treating her as a highly valued professional/ member of the family hybrid. I was very lucky. Good luck!

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Nannies are fine, but we found it pretty invasive. We had an awesome daycare nearby so our kids went there starting at an obscenely young age (6 weeks for the first one) and they all turned out just fine.

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Live-in nanny or grandparents. We raised 3 kids - first with in-laws living with us, then a live in nanny and in-laws when they got old enough, and then my mom came live with us when in-laws deceased and nanny retired.

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Btw - she did not live-in, we paid her well and she had experience

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We had a combination of daycare and Nanny. Kids loved both.

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How did you go about finding the nanny or au pair, for those of you without family nearby? Word of mouth? Online services? Any resources you can recommend? I want to ensure I'm spending as much time as I can with the kid, not dealing with paperwork or domestic "hr issues."

Just a caution: Au Pairs only work 40 hours, so unless you willing to hire 2 they would not be able to cover the day. They are OK if you and the wife have jobs with more or less regular hours, but if both of you have to travel or work late - they will not do. As for us we used Russian community to find a nanny, it was important to us that she talks Russian to children.

OP - assuming your wife works too?

I would love to have nanny. My husband decided to stay home instead.

We had a nanny who was with us for 10 years. She worked from 9-6 every day, with an occasional longer day when one of us couldn’t get home in time. I found her through word of mouth. There are lots of nannies in my area and the “nanny network” is pretty strong....trusted nannies know other trusted nannies.

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