{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Parents - any advice on when to start kindergarten? Our son has an end of august birthday.. concerned he might be behind if he starts while so you g but feels strange to start kindergarten at 6 years old. Would appreciate any advice from those who have been there already", "post_id": "61d5de71331d9700309583f6", "reply_count": 238, "vote_count": 15, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "The Work-Life Bowl", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Parents - any advice on when to start kindergarten? Our son has an end of august birthday.. concerned he might be behind if he starts while so you g but feels strange to start kindergarten at 6 years old. Would appreciate any advice from those who have been there already

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

We moved our October birthday forward so he is younger by 2 years than some of his classmates who were held back (it’s common to hold back for sports where we live). He’s our 2nd of 5 so we also had a reference and our oldest son definitely didn’t have the social maturity to have gone early. 2nd son did private elementary in the same school he did Pre-K to keep him challenged. We initially planned for him to do private kinder then public K but then we met with the public school folks and decided to start him in first so he’d be academically challenged. Every year of elementary school we assessed social emotional development and academics with his teachers and caregivers with a very open mind to hold him back if it was a bridge too far for him. He’s an old soul and keeps up very well with his class work and hasn’t had any issues. He’s now in 7th grade and it’s the first time the age difference is really noticeable. He’s small compared to his peers because they are starting puberty and growth spurts but it doesn’t bother him and no one kids picks on him for it. He seems really happy with it all and we don’t regret it. If he were into sports, we might have held him or had him repeat 1st or 2nd grade so he would have the opportunity to be more physically competitive but it’s not his vibe.

like

Thank you - 2 years would be a really big issue if he wanted to do high school sports and be at the top. But with him doing Rec league stuff casually (which is by age) - we focused on academics and social maturity as we made decisions to support him. My oldest kid has a close friend who was held back for sports and hates the sports they do. The family is super sporty but it’s not the kids vibe. They talk all the time about how they feel really disadvantaged because they will be doing college later than everyone else because their parents wanted them to be bigger for football and lacrosse scholarships.

like

You obviously already have plenty of responses and opinions on both sides. But I’ll offer my 2 cents in case helpful. I started kindergarten at age 4 and turned 5 that October. I was already reading when I started kindergarten and continued to be near the top of my class in grades and played sports (not necessarily MVP but a varsity player) throughout school. I ended up graduating college a year early and going straight to law school. I’ve never felt that I was younger than my peers - actually a lot of the time I’ve felt more mature than those in my year or level. That said, as I’ve gotten older I’ve wondered if I’m living life on fast forward…but I’m not sure what I would be doing otherwise and that feeling is due to more than starting kindergarten at age 4 of course. On the other hand, my younger sister started at 4 as well (turning 5 that September), and struggled more academically (she did well, just had to work a lot harder). My younger brothers had spring birthdays so both started at 5, and both struggled significantly in school (both are very bright, just ADHD and/or no motivation). That all to say, it definitely is child-specific, school-specific, and family-specific I think. What’s the “norm” in your area? Is this your first child (there’s something to be said about birth order stereotypes I think)? Does he seem ready socially and academically? Are you as parents ready for him to start school? All things (plus many more) to consider. But bottom line, I think your son will be just fine no matter what you decide. As someone else said, his “peers” will be whoever they are when you choose to have him start, and he will grow as and when he’s ready.

like
Recent IconRecent

How important are sports to you? Not a good reason but a reason🤷‍♂️

likefunnyhelpful

If instead of kindergarten the kid will be at home with a caring and engaged parent then I would hold the kid back. If the kid would be at a poor day care then I would instead send the kid to kindergarten. The year in question is one of the most critical developmentally speaking. So pick the best option from a development perspective

likesmart

This might sound harsh, but is your kid bright? I ask because if so, they could absolutely get bored repeating the same material twice in kindergarten. Boredom is dangerous for bright kids, they need to be constantly challenged or it can become a problem. There can be negative consequences to holding back as well.

likesmartfunny

I skipped kindergarten so I was always the youngest in my class. It was the best decision for me, and I'm glad my parents decided to move me up. But like A6 said, it's tough when you're the last to drive and drink legally. Not deal breakers by any means, but always something to think about. Not that it should be, but definitely easier being the youngest and a girl in class than the youngest and a boy. I also think things are a bit different now and like others have said you can find lots of ways to challenge them and individualize their school experience whichever way you decide. My nephew is august 31 and they put him in as a 4 turning 5 year old. The first few years were tough because socially he wasn't there, but he's now in 5th grade and thriving. So I'd say you know your kid best and just make the best decision you can for your kid at the time. It'll all work out!

like

Start him younger. I started younger and frankly it felt like I got an extra year of life. So grateful for my parents decision.

like

Also an October birthday here. I was held back a year so I was usually older than my peers. Anyway, graduated high school with a 1.4 GPA and joined the Army. Now Im here.

like

Wracking my brain to remember the sources, but I recall running across this issue in two reputable books. The rule of thumb is that starting later is better than starting earlier, all other things considered, and this is especially true for boys, and often has surprisingly far reaching consequences (academic, social, sports, etc). I'll post sources if my memory starts working.

like

Emily oster has researched this too

like

Earlier the better

likefunny

Disagree later is better

We have 3 kids with summer birthdays and waited with all 3. Absolutely do not regret at all. It depends a LOT on your school system and particular school though. If lots of people wait (as they do at our school), your child could wind up significantly younger than his peers. The reverse could also be true. I would ask at your prospective school what they currently see. We made this decision with our oldest first and every single teacher I asked said to wait. K is a LOT different now than it used to be. Also, it could depend on your preschool situation. In my area, it is so common to wait that our preschool has a special 5 year old class for kids that wait…it is basically no pressure kindergarten. That was a big benefit to my kids..if they were just held for an extra year with younger kids (and the 5 year old class wasn’t an option), that might sway my opinion as well.

like

P.s.—I read some of the replies below just for curiosity. I am actually a summer birthday kid myself who started just after turning 5 and turned out okay. Kindergarten today is WAY different than it was 20 or 30 years ago, or at least it is in my district. My kids came into kindergarten already reading a bit, knowing quite a few sight words, etc and had certainly a good grasp of phonics, letters, etc. If a child entered our district not doing those things, I’m guessing they would really struggle. K is much more focused and “work” heavy than it was when I was a kid.

like

Late august birthday, started school one year earlier. Was fine. High school friends making fun of me for not having a drivers license was the worst bit

likefunny

I remember starting my MBA at 20 and the mean kids made fun of me for not being able to join their bar trips. Somehow I survived just fine.

likefunny

Yeah don’t start a 6 year old in kindergarten. He’ll be behind all of his peers his whole life The school should have fairly simple guidance on which grade to place the child for their age group

likesmartfunny

You don’t have kids do you

likefunny

Mine are in Kindergarten and 2nd grade. Is he doing well in preschool, as far as cooperating with the classroom rules, listening to the teacher, etc? If you don’t have any specific concerns about his ability to function in a kindergarten classroom, he will be fine. I’m sure it depends a bit on where you live, but in my kids’ kindergarten classrooms, there was a very wide range of academic abilities - some kids didn’t know all the letters yet, while some kids were reading at a level years above their grade. The teacher (and various aides) met each kid where they were, and it all worked out fine. There were 4 year olds in the class at the start of the year (kids who had September birthdays), as well as 5 and 6 year olds, and it wasn’t generally age that was the factor that made the difference in how advanced the child was as compared to kindergarten expectations. You know your child best, so go with your gut.

like

See, you are planning ahead, but not far enough ahead. The smart move is to have your kids birthdays just on the other side of the cut off - so they are older but you don’t get accused of trying to give them an advantage. Today’s parents are cutthroat. Serious answer. Mine were fall babies by chance so I didn’t have to make this decision, but there is no way you can know now what will be best in 3 years. Best thing I did as it relates to school decisions through the years was allow teachers to be honest with me about my kids without getting offended. That input was invaluable in helping decide where to send each of them at each step. So if he is in daycare/preschool at 4, ask their opinion and add that to your gut assessment. Doesn’t help you pick where you live today, but I can also tell you from experience that choosing a location based on schools doesn’t mean you will end up sending your kid to those schools. I say that to say this - while it’s always good to look ahead, buckle your seatbelt, ‘cause this parenting gig is unpredictable.

likehelpful

Start him later - that extra year will benefit him in later years - particularly in middle/HS - as much from a maturity standpoint as from a sports perspective……just my 2 cents as a parent who’s son was on the older end of his class

like

Yes. Can confirm. I was old for my grade, my sister was young for her grade. School was much easier to me naturally than her. Not sure if it’s all based on age/maturity, but can confirm it helped in my situation.

I have a late august birthday and was held back. I think it REALLY worked out well for me. From what I remember, pretty much every kid born in august and July in my grade was older (we were all 90s but some kids born in sept and October were 91s). I was learning two languages at once, so the extra year really helped. I do think it makes less of a difference for girls than for boys, but in any event, I don’t seem the harm in giving your child and extra year to develop/get ahead of their peers (in the sense that kids who are a year older than their classmates might have some advantages…)

like

Sure - my understanding is that sometimes when little kids learn multiple languages at once, it can take them a little longer to achieve full understanding in both - esp if they were super different languages. So, when I was 5, for example I had been hearing 2 languages growing up, while a lot of my peers had only be hearing one, so they had more experience in that one language than I did. That said, little kids learn super quickly and I think, at least for me, having an extra year to get exposed to two languages before I started real school really helped me achieve (and retain) fluency in both. I’m a lawyer and don’t have a background in childhood education, but wanted to share my experience and what I’ve seen with some of the young children I know + stuff I’ve read about in life, generally

like

Not a parent but I was born in august myself. I always saw it as a benefit to be younger than my peers but don‘t have less knowledge (I was actually always in the top 3 of my class)

like

Late September bday and started young. I even got bored with how easy school was, can’t imagine if my parents waited another year

like

We started our July baby in Kindergarten when she was 6. She could have started at 5 the year before but she would have been the youngest in her class. We consulted with a lot of experts and did a lot of research on the gift of time. We don’t regret it for a second and our child is thriving in 1st grade this year at 7. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2015/10/07/delaying-kindergarten-until-age-7-offers-key-benefits-to-kids-study/

like

Also adding that in my area a lot of private schools require a child to be 6 by June in order to start kindergarten in the fall, which was a factor in our decision as well bc we literally couldn’t enroll our child at those schools

I think it depends on maturity. If they can sit still and listen, start them younger, I’d not they will benefit from being older. I have two August birthdays- one started at 6 yo, one at 5 yo, they are both seniors now. I think the one who started at 6 liked being the oldest in class cause he was the first to do everything- since he was oldest.

like

I’m not a parent, but have an august birthday. I’m a female, but super thankful I started kindergarten early. I definitely feel like I got another year of life. My cousin did kindergarten twice (he’s a month older than me but a year behind in school) and it never affected him. I say start him early, he can always repeat and will never notice, but agree on athletics lol. If you or your partner are athletic and he has the potential to have athletic genes, hold him back (think of it as a way to help pay for college)

likesmart

I have a December birthday and started K at age 4. It was fine, though being the youngest was sometimes a bummer in terms of learning to drive/ turning 21 after all my friends. I started my August-bday son in K at age 5 and have noticed he seems smaller than some of his peers (now in 5th grade) but other than that, I don't think there are any issues. However, our choice was motivated by not wanting to pay for another year of daycare more than anything.

like

My birthday is right around Labor Day so I was always a “year younger” than everyone. Started college at 17, etc. I played sports, made the basketball team, was very sociable and mature. No issues at all being the youngest or one of the youngest in my class.

like

October birthday. Started kindergarten at age 5. And I’m a lefty to boot! No problems whatsoever. And always in the top 10% of the class up through high school.

likefunny

To clarify, yes…was 4 in September when I started, turned 5 in October.

like

Huh? When I was a kid the cutoff for a particular grade was sometime in December. I have never heard of holding a kid back because they are born in August.

likehelpful

DC is 10/1

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book about this. I forget the title. It was not just about kindergarten but just life in general and getting a later start being more beneficial overall. Our kids were not in a borderline time but we did notice some older kids in the grades performed better at least initially. Gladwell used the example of the NHL, if you look most players are born January through March. So when those kids start playing, they are the biggest, strongest etc. They are perceived to be the best players, get the most attention and eventually develop the most skills. Good read if nothing else.

likesmart

Hold them back to start later. Think about being younger starting college with everyone around them hitting drinking age…. Better to be older. Most people I know with kids who started early were questioning if they were actually ready and contemplated if they needed to repeat kindergarten. Anecdotal but what I have seen… also better for sports to wait 😆

like

Related Posts

Any tips for working w/ your father in this biz? 😬 see the huge opportunity to step into something that’s already built vs struggling in your first few years but I do worry about the father-son side

likehelpful

Good news thread! Share your good news below 🥰

likeupliftinghelpful

PwC moms - have you ever taken your child with you on your travel because your spouse was traveling the same time? Does PwC pay for such travel/childcare at destination city? How do you deal with it?

Do you all have any tips for morning sickness? I’m 7 weeks pregnant and almost haven’t been able to function the last three days. I’m going to call my doctor tomorrow to see what she recommends, but I would be grateful for any tips you can provide in the meantime.

like

Women in the bowl: do you feel like childless women are ignored in the national narrative around covid economy?I’m really glad there’s more talk about improving work life, child/fam care given how many women dropped from work force and have been suffering silently, but at the same time not all working women are mothers. I’m personally thriving during the pandemic because I don’t deal with everyday sexism at work as much, more time to care for mental health, no makeup, more savings, etc....

like

Anyone have tips for maintaining productivity/energy when pregnant and off of meds? Between the pregnancy fatigue and going off my medication cold turkey, I am struggling at work and find myself napping everyday.

like

8 weeks pregnant and had some spotting yesterday. Drs office is closed for the long weekend but I talked to the on-call nurse who said to call back if it gets heavier. Anyone else had this experience? Trying to stay calm but quite worried.

like

Does anybody ever feel like the only thing they’re good at is being an attorney (when the imposter syndrome isn’t in full swing, of course)? I’m having one of those weeks where I feel like I’m a bad wife, I’ll never be a good mother, I’m not in shape, and I’m not as good as I once was at my hobbies due to lack of time. I’ve been trying not to define myself by my career as much, but lately it feels like it’s the only thing I do well…sigh.

like

When should I tell Accenture or potential client that I’ll taking 2-3 months for paternity leave later in the summer? Recently joined Accenture. Not yet on a project. Hope it doesn’t hurt me during performance review.

likehelpful

When did you tell your team/firm you were pregnant?

5 months. It took 5 months for doggo to turn into a clingy baby. I cannot be in a different room from her or she whines. Anyone else having this problem? We’ve had her since she was a puppy (6 yrs) crate trained, and quarantine has just made her attached to my hip 😂😫

Post Photo
likeuplifting

As a parent, do you prioritize making career choices that are “safe” but not inspiring, or do you prioritize making the choices that are less safe but help you realize your full potential? I’m faced with such a choice, and while I’m fine with my safe job, I get stuck on how to explain myself to my daughters someday because I feel I’d want more for them. I feel a lot of pressure to model the right thing for them, especially as a same sex parent - anyone else?

like

OMG!!! Hulu has a movie called The Monkey King 3. Anyone else’s parents read Sung Wu Kong to them for bedtime as a kid?? (FYI, the movie is in Chinese but does have subtitles).

like

To all expecting mamas at Deloitte, I just found out about this and hole it helps someone else too. The Bright Beginnings maternity support program is a perk we get that was buried deep in DNet. I found it thanks to another post on here. If anyone else needs it,you just call 18443867354 to enroll and it takes 5 minutes. If you enroll in your first or second trimester, you get $200 Vantage Circle E gift voucher. This is the same portal that deloitte uses now for applause awards. 😊

likehelpful

Ladies how would you feel if your bf/husband is making half or less than half your salary. Am not yet in a relationship and the guy I just met seems nice but when I learnt about his salary it was a major turnoff for me. He does not have a professional career like I do. It would be helpful to know your perspectives so that I know how to proceed and what considerations I need to have

likefunnyhelpful

My ex wife (and mother to my son) and I used to have a great friendship until I met this incredibly gorgeous and nice woman (lets call her Mary). She is a pediatrician and obviously is amazing to my son. Now he wont stop telling everyone, including his mom, how wonderful Mary is and how much he loves her more than anything else (kids can be brutally honest🙈). Since that, my ex admitted that she is jealous and has been super weird and borderline toxic. How do I manage it from here? Son is only 4!

like

My dad is refusing to get the TDAP shot because he claims he has 0 exposure to pertussis since he’s in a mask all day every day (he’s a doctor in a hospital 🤦🏻‍♀️). I’m so angry & don’t know how to reason with him. I told him it can be fatal to infants under 6mos & he said, great, we’ll see the baby after 6 months. Have you guys encountered resistance from any family members to getting TDAP? How did you handle it? I don’t understand why he’s saying no, it has literally no downside.

like

Moms, help me settle a point with my husband: Is breastfeeding from the breast hard? I say yes, at least for the first few weeks/months based on the many many threads I’ve read here, but my husband suggested only people who found it hard posted either questions or advice to moms having problems, so there’s probably a lot of moms who found it easy who just don’t post because they don’t want to be rude to moms having trouble. My own kids couldn’t latch, so it was essentially impossible for me.

like

First baby on the way and looking for stroller recommendations. We live in downtown dc, so need something that can (1) handle rough sidewalks, (2) has a car seat that snaps out, (3) can grow with baby

like

Show me your pets! Please? 🥺

Post Photo
likeupliftingfunny

Additional Posts

But once again not posting

like

My company is now displaying!

like

Post for likes! 😤

like

Ahh it is posting but into middle of feed as opposed to top.

like

Still not seeing location in the post window when turning it off.

Testing for sound!

Where is a new build???

like

When should I tell Accenture or potential client that I’ll taking 2-3 months for paternity leave later in the summer? Recently joined Accenture. Not yet on a project. Hope it doesn’t hurt me during performance review.

likehelpful

PwC FS - do you guys know how they're determining layoffs? People who are in projects are getting the boot which is scary. Apparently there will be more rounds and this week was just the beginning.

like

Is saying “does that make sense?” feel condescending? Is there a better way to say this.

like
likesmartfunny

I feel like if companies can staff us on more than 1 project or work us more than 40-hr a week without paying us more, we should be able to have more than one job & not be limited by employment contracts when there is no direct conflict of interest.

like

Trying to assess if an mba is worth it (25 year old male). I am a VP making $200 K in pharma transaction advisory considering moving to IB. Worth the two year hold on my career and $400 K in lost salary? It’s terrifying to go back into debt...

likefunnyupliftingsmart

Anyone at ohare wanna chat?

upliftingfunny

Could a nuclear winter caused by nuclear war help stop global warming? Asking for a friend.

funnylike

Have two offers both at SC level in cloud. $150k at Slalom and $170k at Deloitte. Slalom is fully remote and Deloitte will require up to 50% travel. Have read some horror stories across this bowl. Is Deloitte really that bad?

like

India Global Entry Update: CBP is offering a full refund to those who applied before July 6, 2017. In an email from CBP, they highlight the added step for verification in India is not their doing

like

ESPP - hold or sell (immediately)?

like

Any other female 🐠 growing out their grey hair during wfh?

likefunny

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal