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I’m 40 and no kids yet. In many ways, I feel more ready now because I’ve matured and learned a lot more about looking after and dealing with people over the years. I’m sure that will make me a better dad, even if I will die earlier and inevitably miss a lot of time with the kids.
Rising Star
I had kids in my late 20s. I kinda wish I even had them earlier. But I think that was still a good age, but I definitely would not want to just start having kids in my mid to late 30s (my age now). You don’t have as much energy, both physically and mentally. You are also older when your kids grow up. My parents had me when they were younger (early 20s) and they are still young enough to play with my kids and it’s awesome. All that being said, the best time to have kids is when you are ready and willing to make sacrifices to care for them the best way possible.
My two kids are 7 years apart. I definitely advocate for late-20s. Actually if you have figured your life out, even earlier.
You have more energy when raising kids, when they are all grown up you are still relatively young and able to do active/challenging things with them (probably with grandkids too), kids don’t grow up with abundance of money and will have a sense of what the real world like. So many pros.
The only con I see is you may struggle a bit with managing budgets etc — but that’s not necessarily bad given the upside.
Great perspective! My parents did what you did and have been asking me to plan early. Now I know why!
Pro
I had my kid at 34 but I have friends who had their first at 23, 25, 29. I don’t think there’s any absolute pros or cons. It’s all relative to you. I spent ages 25-33 traveling, then living abroad, then doing a PhD that required travel, so having a kid earlier would have stopped me. At 33 I felt ready to settle down for the long haul. My friends who had their kids way earlier felt that that settled down feeling back then. All things being equal I would have them younger- kids take so much energy! And if you have them in your mid 20s they’re in college by your early/mid 40s and you (hopefully) still have half your life left to live.
6 kids.... first three before 30... then 5 year gap and three more ... youngest when I was 42. We joke that the ‘big’ kids got our youth... we sledged and roller bladed with them but are lots of hot dogs and Mac and cheese. The little kids got our wealth...private school, dinners in restaurants ... kayaks and sailboats....
Kids at 31&33 - have kids when you are ready, there’s no magic age. Some of my friends waited and struggled to conceive and the risk of miscarriage increases the older you get. Good luck my friend
+1 on this. The older you get, the harder it becomes to conceive. I’m 34 and many of my same-age friends (10+) who are trying for kids now have had to do some sort of fertility treatment, have had one or more miscarriages, etc.
One thing that my wife and I have come to realize by having kids on the later side is that we will be “old” parents when they are teenagers... it would have been cool to be a bit younger. Don’t leave it ‘too’ late :)
Agreed! I was the same age. Also, when you are younger, you have more energy for the kids. We got caught by circumstances that pushed it that late but younger would have been easier.
3 kids, 1st at 27. Definitely glad did not leave till later because I barely have the energy to keep with them now 🤪
I’m 43 and have a 4 year old and 1 year old. I do see pros with both having kids early and later. For me, I was able to have a many fun life experiences traveling in living in awesome cities before having kids. I feel like parents who are in their 20s miss they. On the flip side, I’m jealous of friends my age who already have high-school aged children.
Rising Star
We are planning on popping them at starting at 27 and ending at 30 ish
Started mid to late 20s worked for us. Stable careers (albeit not a lot of money) and had a couple party years in there. Spouse and I were together for a long time before though. Kids do test your marriage, but are great. 1 was disruptive for my spouse (easy for me because we could tag team), 2 was disruptive for me (always on). After that, I saw it as structured chaos like at work but with a lot more love :). Happy with 3 little monsters. Best of luck!
Rising Star
What others said. Had my first at 29. Barely have enough energy with her as it is. But not stopping me planning for 2nd by end of this year (aiming for 3 year gaps in age)
Pro
My mom had me at 20 (dad was 24) but I think it’s awesome now that I’m 25 and can still be active with them. Yet I’m single so we’ll see if I have any kids by 30 lol
Also worth mentioning our first was conceived quickly and it took 2 years to conceive the second and then no time at all again for the third, which meant a gap in their ages, not too mention a delay in any sort of planning we thought we had... a friend of mine is trying right now for their first 2 years with no result