Personal question. My wife recently landed an executive ops role at a leading professional services firm and we just found out she’s pregnant. Trying to navigate the best way to break the news to her new employer. Any input on whether she should disclose upon signing or a few weeks into the job would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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I would say no - she should tell them when she's a few months in. She's not obligated to tell them, and miscarriages are common. I would wait until she's 4-5 months in and just about showing to tell them.

likesmarthelpful

Yes. Miscarriages are unfortunately common. Wait until 4-5 months.

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They cannot pull her offer - that would be illegal. If it’s a large professional services firm, zero chance they would take that risk. It’s a PR nightmare.

I would disclose AND negotiate for parental benefits. I don’t know if you know this but you’re not eligible for full benefits until you have a year or employment. Most large firms have excellent parental benefits with additional paid leave and unpaid extensions. See if you can get that.

Congratulations by the way!

likehelpful

Extremely helpful P1, thank you. Happy New Year!

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Agree with fti... the key here is not to feel you’re being dishonest, but people really don’t disclose pregnancies until after the first trimester for health reasons.

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Don't give them any reason to pull her offer.

Speaking from experience (and trying to be as direct as possible, while wishing you all the blessings), you dont need to disclose until the pregnancy is further along and past the early risk phase.

This also gives her an opportunity to deliver value before disclosing.

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If its a large firm they likely have a policy on parental benefits that they will not be willing to change for one person so doubt you’ll be able to negotiate much. You don’t need to disclose pregnancy to attempt to negotiate the parental benefits.

I see no reason to share this info with an employer until you have to. Your family situation is your business. Zero upside from sharing too early and lots of potential downside. I agree it’s unlikely the offer will get pulled but why take any chances. There’s plenty of risk she may not be given the most important assignments because employer will assume she’s going to be taking time off and may not be feeling 100%

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It would be kind of obvious why you’re asking to drop the 1 year minimum language.

And pretty much everything that’s a one time situation is negotiable.

Congratulations! If I were the employer, would be upset and lose trust with someone if they waited until after they were hired to tell me. I would distrust that person. So... as others have said, she should tell now as in the US, they cannot rescind the offer based on this information. And it will look like she is upfront and honest.

I would disagree completely. I've seen it happen firsthand, where women were disregarded because of their pregnancies (whether directly or subconsciously). Once she is passed the threshold to where miscarriage is less likely, then they should tell the employer the good news, making it a positive ("we waited to tell you until the doctors were sure").

She doesn't owe her new employer anything. She should be allowed to prove her value without any subconscious or conscious bias against her.

likeupliftingsmart

^lightly scanned here...

I’d go inverse, give them a reason to pull the offer AND then sue the shit out of them and never work again

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