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Please discuss the mental health aspect of ghosting and mentally moving beyond. It hurts when I put time and effort into research and preparation for an interview and get half as much respect.

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What helps me (freelancer looking for full time) is I tell myself two things: 1) stay out of the outcomes. Do your best at what you’re responsible for, that’s all you can do. Someone’s processes or how they treat people, I can’t control. There are 100 factors affecting an open position. I’m responsible for only one of them: me and my efforts. 2) they’re not doing it to you, they’re just doing it. This is a big one. We assume the other person is as vested and involved in this open position as we are. But, see 1) above. So don’t take it personally. It’s just how they behave. Most likely without even realizing it. FWIW I always tried to personally respond to follow-ups and provide closure. It takes wicked organizational skills and discipline. 99% your ghosters don’t realize they’re doing it. That doesn’t make it right. But I’ve learned to maintain my sanity through controlling my expectation and reaction, because lord knows I can’t control what anyone else does.

likeuplifting

This is definitely a problem, so is agencies stringing candidates along in a competitive market or not communicating decisions which also has an adverse affect on an individuals confidence. Both need addressing

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It’s a shit thing to do to anyone, especially when things went well, chemistry was there and then someone else gets the job. Most of the time it’s because neither the hiring manager nor the HR person like delivering the bad news. I used to call up everyone who did really well but didn’t make it to talk to them about it, not in detail (legal reasons) but in broad strokes. they would usually be the runner-up. I’d make a point offering to connect them to someone I knew would be looking for a similar profile, and in 50% of cases they’d take that offer and usually get the job. It’s a lot of work though. But a lot of people in hiring roles forget that you always meet twice in this industry and kindness may not pay dividends, but it’s a decent thing to do in this cut throat, asshole-filled business. Mental health wise, honestly I think you will have to come to terms with this behavior. It’s rampant and the easy way out for too many of us. But you can change it by not doing it to others, for starters, if you ever come into a position where you’ve got the leverage.

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Yup- Wieden + Kennedy London need to hear this.

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Wow - that was the best possible answer. Thank you

uplifting

Apply and interview until someone writes you a check. And the second you get a better offer, take it. The mental health aspect is accepting that this is how it works and you have to simply make moves that are best for you, without regard for the corporate entities that treat you that way in the hiring process. The trick though — maintain the good human relations. Always be kind and respectful. Even if they ghost you. People move a lot, so you never know when/where you’ll see them again.

But it is literally people deciding to ignore and disrespect your time and effort. How to separate ‘corporate’ from the fact every single person I met and spent several hours with ignored me is difficult.

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