Please Help - I’m a FTM to a 2.5 month old baby. He doesn’t nap during the day unless he’s being held. However, he sleeps perfectly fine in his bassinet by himself through night. He only wants to be held during the day. I’ve tried putting him down drowsy but awake as well as after he’s been asleep for a while. I’ve tried a weighted sleep sack, his bedtime lullaby playlist, closing the blinds, his sling carrier, shushing, singing, and putting my hand on his chest. Nothing works. What can I do?

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I’m you, but we’re at 4.5 mths now. Black out blinds and noise machine are really helpful, as well as not waiting until your little one is overtired. When overtired they get a shot of adrenaline which makes it harder.
2.5 mths is young so it’s perhaps unrealistic to think you’ll get big naps in th crib. My LO now does max 30mins in the crib but only in the first nap of the day. Every other nap is contact. We’ve had two different sleep consultants and unless we do some type of cry it out, she won’t get better but we don’t want to do that. So for now, we do contact naps and carrier naps and hope that as she gets a bit older, and with us persistently trying everyday, she will get it soon!

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I hope she gets it soon as well ❤️

My son was (and still is) the pickiest sleeper. Hatch noise machine, fan on, room completely black out, sleep sack. He will now put himself to sleep for naps and bed time, but it took a little gentle sleep training (I couldn’t handle him “crying it out” for too long). It came around 3 months and he’s been a great sleeper since. With the sleep training we also skipped over that 4 month sleep regression.

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No, but those were essential parts.
1. We were jumping too quickly when he would wake up. Infant sleep cycles are FAST and when they are young, they can’t connect them. When I learned that, I could clocks when he would wake up. When he first woke up, I wouldn’t go get him even if he fussed. Anything beyond 5mins I would go in and soothe. If he wasn’t having it then he was up.
2. At night we started a calm routine to ready him for bed. Then when he would wake up we wouldn’t turn on any lights just lean into the bassinet and loudly shhhhh with the noise machine. If that didn’t work we would add the firm hand to his chest. If that didn’t work then rock him slightly. Typically it would take a minute or two (and a pain in the back leaning in) but he would go back down. Then a few minutes later wake up again, so we would repeat the process starting at step 1. It was tedious, BUT only took a couple nights. Then we would turn up the noise machine a little (the Hatch is a GODSEND) instead of shhhh’ing and that started working and he would sleep like 6-8 hours at a time. Then he discovered his thumb and he has been sleeping 11-12 hour stretches at night.

What’s crazy is he is THE happiest baby now. Before sleep training he was always fussy and just grumpy. I don’t think the sleeping on demand really worked for him.

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You’re not alone! From about two months until four months, my little one would only contact nap during the day. Same thing, he slept totally fine independently at night.

I was super resentful at first because it ate up hours of my day when I felt like I should be productive (also hormones) but when I realized how much better his temperament was when he got 3 solid naps in a day, it truly made it worth it. I started binging Netflix shows and reading books during the naps and when those times feel like a respite for me as well.

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These over the bed desks are helpful to study while nap trapped 👌🏾

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I thought I wrote this post myself for a second. Feeling like a bed and buffet these days.

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I totally understand how you feel. Nursing and pumping has taken over my life lol

Awww I’m sorry you’re struggling, mama. I know this isn’t super helpful but they’re still so young, it will come. If you can do what you need to do baby wearing, that worked for me sometimes. Have you tried black out blinds? We used them with our kids until like 2/3 years old and they were always great nappers. They sell paper blackout blinds at Home Depot and they’re ugly but they work.

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Thank you! I will try the blackout blinds. We’ve tried baby wearing but he gets fussy if I move around too much.

Thank you all for the reassurance that it’s normal at his age. My family has been criticizing me for it and making it seem like I’m doing something wrong for allowing him to nap on me. I’ll continue encouraging independent naps (he sometimes takes super short naps by himself) and just enjoy the cuddles when he needs them to nap.

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Thank you both! I do try to tune them out but sometimes they just get to me. I definitely want to be the best mom possible for my son.

Tire baby out. Walks in the sun. Read books. Rollover. Etc. At the very first time baby shows signs of tiredness (yawn, wiping eyes), bottle & bout & rock & then to the crib/bassinet. That drowsy but awake thing is nonsense for new babies. Don’t even waste your time. Put baby asleep. (Once asleep, lift baby’s arm and drop it to make sure baby is actually in a deep sleep). Sound machine on BLAST and dark room for naps just like bedtime.

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This is solid advice 👌🏽 Thank you so much!

I went through this for SIX months. We had our nanny hold him during the day…. I know it’s crazy. You could try a baby wearing wrap to keep him close to you and he can nap on your chest if you don’t have help. 2.5 months is too little for sleep training I’m sorry he’s just a small baby. When our son was 6 months, I used the Tinyhood sleep training method and he was trained. But those first 6 months were brutal. Also definitely get black out curtains and a sound machine. It was the only way.

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I also think 2.5 months is too young for sleep training but it seems like every website I read says sleep training should be started early to develop good sleep habits. I’m going to start paying my cousin come to help for a few hours during the day so that I am able to get things done.

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Hi! Maybe you won’t like me but i have the need to speak up about my experience. My daughter is 21 months old now and sleeps in her bed in the evening, almost through the night every day and naps in her bed or at daycare once a day for 45 mins.

For the first month and a half she didn’t sleep at all, unless being held. I couldn’t find any info online if this is temporary or not. I was hoping it’s just in the beginning. Until 7 months she wouldn’t sleep unless on me or next to me in bed. I wouldn’t sleep out of guilt for risking her safety… We tried everything and I was about to lose it. At 7 months old I took the decision to sleep-train her, as I read that at that age they can learn, not before 6 months at least. It just took 3 days to reach her to sleep in her bed at night. And I was next to her the whole time, we still stay with her until she falls asleep. She did cry for a while those 3 days but I was there to calm her down. I just had to go through that or I’d go nuts.

During the day she would still nap exclusively on me a few times a day until around 14 months. Just before 1,5 years she would nap 2 times a day. The first nap my husband started rocking her to sleep since she was 8 or 9 months old. The second nap, luckily, started happening in the stroller after around the 7 months.

Loooong story short, what made me miserable was the fact that I was anticipating an end to this and that independence to happen much earlier. Once or twice during those first months she slept for 2 hours straight and I thought it was certainly going to start happening more often. It never did. My girl ate all the time and woke up with the slightest movement, the tiniest noise. I used to go into the forest, to be on my own, to feed her while I carried her, so she can fall asleep on me. I never went to cafés or enjoyed spending time with family. She wouldn’t take the stroller where she could lay down completely, she would scream and want to come back to mama.

Why I’m saying that… with all possible compassion to your situation, try to find what works for your child to sleep but don’t obsess about it. Whatever works is fine and just keep doing that. It might be a boring time for you but it shall pass. A year later, I don’t even remember how that felt and I just get joy from spending time with her. I’m still very tired, but I don’t think that will change much for a few years.

A big hug to you and your baby. I hope you find all the strength you need. Also, don’t listen to family, trust your gut, you’re made for this. ❤️

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I appreciate you telling your story and being so encouraging♥️ Thank you so much!

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My daughter was like this. Closer to 3 months I started to let her fuss for like 1 min before going in then 2 then 3, etc. and she miraculously started putting herself to sleep. Sometimes she’d cry more and it was hard but ultimately worked. Also we did a lot of stroller/car naps and contact naps when that didn’t work or it was too hard. She had a terrible regression at 4 months so I felt like we started from scratch and really did sleep training at that point. My point is do what you need to do to get baby to sleep so they don’t get overtired (wear baby in carrier?) And the naps will come.

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Both my kids needed to be held or have someone lay with them for naps until they stopped napping. If you don’t mind it just enjoy the snuggles!

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It’s not recommended by my ped but I let my babe sleep on her tummy during the day when I’m watching her. It’s much more comfy for babies with gas. I second the blackout shades. Also will they sleep in a baby carrier/wrap? This is little still and they may just need to contact nap - it’s still normal.

My son also buries his face when sleeping on his tummy. I tried letting him nap on his tummy while I watched him and he buried his face into the sheets so I haven’t tried again. He naps in a baby carrier but he wakes up and starts crying if I move around too much.

I struggled during initial few months like this too. Then I read somewhere that Try to put the baby to sleep every two hours. Don’t wait too long for baby to be sleepy. It was tiring but this tip worked well for me.

You’re definitely not alone. My 4 month old is similar. During the day, she takes her best naps in her car seat or swing. I’m actually trying right now to get her down for an actual nap. If she’s tired but not fussy, I can place her car seat in the bathroom while I shower. I turn on the fan for white noise and play soothing classical or Christian music and she’s usually sleep in 5-10 min.

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