{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "possible to work from home, full time, without any childcare with one child under 2? 🤡", "post_id": "6019b07c9b175e00218a1dc7", "reply_count": 67, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms" }

possible to work from home, full time, without any childcare with one child under 2? 🤡

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Possible but if you have safe alternatives, use them. Putting aside work stress and all that, from a parenting perspective I felt like such a shit mom when I tried to do it. Now that she’s at daycare I truly enjoy the time I have with her instead of feeling like I was letting her down all day when she wanted or needed more from me. This is not to say that people to do it are bad parents AT ALL. A little benign neglect never hurt anyone, the kids will be fine. I’m just talking about how it made me feel. As a working parent you’ll feel the tension between your work life and your kids fairly often. As a working parent with no childcare, you will feel that tension every minute of the day, and I couldn’t handle that.

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My husband and I are making it work. It’s not easy and I wouldn’t recommend it as a first, second, or even third choice. I’m super nervous about covid and don’t want strangers around (daycare and nanny out) and my MIL who’s nearby is more disruptive than anything my daughter could do. That said, it is doable even without much screen time. My daughter does about 15-30 minutes a day (she’s 12 months) but we have a lot of other activities and toys to engage her. My husband also doesn’t have many meetings during his work day so he can usually find a break to help with feedings, diaper changes, and putting her down for naps. I set up our home office and living room so each has a play area. More often than not, we’re both juggling between keeping her entertained and making sure we don’t miss deadlines. Key is having strong support in your spouse or whoever you live with, being over communicative with your support person (some days you’ll need to lean on them more and vice versa), planning out the things you can (snacks, lunches, etc.), and being okay with it being difficult. It’s not the easiest option but now that I’ve gotten into a groove with it, I have no reason to consider anything else and definitely won’t until one or both of us have to physically go back to work.

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Yes IF you have a supportive workplace, supportive partner, relatively independent kid(s), low standards/ability to outsource everything else around the house, AND are okay feeling like you’re failing at everything. Else, no.

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@Associate Principal 1 Totally agreed. This is exactly where I’m at now. It’s not sustainable.

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No! A young child requires attention and engagement. Your work requires attention and engagement. I personally couldn’t do these two things at the same time. Some mommas seem to be able to - which I just don’t understand! That’s just my perspective.

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Impossible to do both well, either work or care of the child will suffer

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Honestly not if you want to keep your sanity. It SEEMS like you can work in spurts or during nap or while they eat a popsicle in their high chair. It works out maybe once out of 25 times.

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How old is the kid? My 4 month old takes a million naps a day still so is kinda doable. My 2 year old has a few activities that she will do independently for an hour at a time and she naps for 2 hours but I would have to allow a solid 2-4 hours of screen time to fill an entire workday. Between 12-20 months, no way in hell 😂 mobile, long awake periods, but not easily entertained

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No. As many said above, you will feel like you are failing at both. Your kid would need to have EXCESSIVE screen time or be VERY independent playing by themselves in order for that to work. Well, and you can’t sleep lol

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Exactly AA1 it’s really impossible. My son was 2 when the pandemic started and our entire family’s mental and physical health was really suffering. We put him back in daycare the end of June

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Very much depends on child's personality. Everything is possible. The question is about quality

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100% this. I did WFH with my 2.5 yo with no child care due to covid She’s a wild lady, which is what I love about her but also what made it extremely hard to do any work that required any level of concentration. If I needed to really get something done or talk to someone on the phone for any length of time, I had to have my husband take over. My now 6 month old is way more chill (also an infant so toddler-ness remains to be seen) and my sense is it would be much easier with him. Either way, I really don’t think you can focus properly on work if you have an active two year old. They basically have a death wish and you are trying to ensure they don’t accidentally hurt themselves.

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As a single parent WFH full-time with a 2 year old.... it was extremely hard. Despite my company being accommodating, my work still suffered and my kid suffered too as I wasn’t able to give 100% attention at home or keep her on a schedule. It was a win-win for us both putting her back in daycare.

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Not at all - I pay grandma good money to watch my son while I work.

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Thank you PwC 2! That’s what I meant.

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Yes! Especially with a significant other. Are you married? I am currently doing it with my husband and my kid is under 2.

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I think the key to those who made this work as described above, beyond us a supportive partner, is not having a very long hour workday. There are simply not enough hours in the day to watch your kid and work while they are sleeping unless you’re only fitting eight hours of work or so in. My husband and I, he is a lawyer and I am a consultant, each work about 14 to 15 hours Monday through Friday and there was absolutely no way we could do without childcare one forced to be average maybe 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night.

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No. At least not be able to do your job well

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I do it with 3 kids 5,4 and 1. If your team supports you it's absolutely possible

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I do take frequent breaks and my husband works third shift so when he needs sleep I log off and I am present with my kids. When he has the kids I am 100% working. It makes for a terrible work/life balance as the two are constantly blended BUT ironically I am more productive since WFH due to the lack of idle small talk from colleagues and better time management for dedicated tasks. All I can say is a schedule is imperative. While the client is demanding, my team is built of only working moms so we balance the load so that we all can function accordingly.

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I can just about do it with a 12.5 year old. Even then many interruptions through the day for school crises/teen dramas. I have no idea how you would do it with kids under 5.

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No. Even with child care, it’s really hard and at that age, a child is not always so predictable and needs a lot of human interaction. You can’t really plop an 18 month in front of an iPad for an hour while you get on a call. You can try to schedule calls during a nap time but kids are not robots. You really can’t count on that kind of consistency in terms of 2-3 hour naps. And the skipped nap day will inevitably be the day of the week with your most important client call. Don’t do it. It’s not worth the stress. I have a ton of help and still feel like a failure most days.

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It’s quite hard but not impossible

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Yes, it is possible. Lots of us did it for months Bc of covid. We have childcare 14 hours a week right now and it is still hell. I can’t wait to have full time childcare again. It is genuinely not ideal for anyone. You, your child, or your work. You will be tired and stressed out all the time. You will count on nap time to be on an important call, and then whoops baby is getting a new tooth and does not nap. You will wake up early to work and work late into the night just to have enough free time without your child. Would not advise

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I think that depends on a schedule you have. I have a 5 month old and a 7 year old and am returning to work. A schedule is an absolute necessity I schedule meetings/ calls during naps and my other work during wake up times. I use my lunch to do pick up from school for the 7 year old. It’s not impossible but it’s hard. I do a lot of catch up at night.

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Nope. You don’t get to skip childcare while working from home till they are about out of elementary school. All ages before that will interior you or need you for something.

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If your kid takes two 2-hour naps maybe you can do 4 hours of work during the daytime. Then you could do 2 more hours after they go to bed. Not likely to get 8 hours.

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