Mamas with more than one kid, what’s the age gap between your children? And now that you’ve experienced it, do you think a different age gap would have been better?
I had my first a few months ago, and while I was sure I’d be one and done, the maternal feeling is now on overdrive 🙃 I’m wondering what would be a good time to try for a second.
I am 38, and the first baby came after two miscarriages so my chances are not great (especially chances of a planned age gap) But it doesn’t hurt to hope 😊
Rising Star
I’m not pregnant but we’re def in a funk bc of quarantine. 1) hormones are weird during pregnancy 2) were in a global pandemic with no childcare. If you’re like me, you’re tired, stressed with very little self care time. Let alone marriage time 3) 3 year olds are exhausting. I think it’s totally normal, and I don’t think it means things will be like this forever. We’re having a hard time because we’re constantly juggling work/childcare during the day and by the time bedtime rolls around, we’re catching up on work and house stuff, which leaves very little relax/enjoy time.
Sometimes the marriage doesn’t always feel good. It takes work and when circumstances around you are hard it strains the marriage. Don’t take hard circumstances to mean married the wrong person or anything. Just sit down with spouse and ask what they need more of from you to feel loved and hopefully they reciprocate and ask how they can better serve you too
Chief
Sounds like maybe you’re in a bit of a funk from the quarantine, which makes perfect sense to me! Can you maybe do a “date night” at home where either you cook a nice meal or get takeout, then sit at the table and chat to reconnect? Talk about how you’re feeling with the pregnancy, what your fears are (if any) with giving birth, how your first will adapt, etc. I feel the most connected with my husband after we’ve had a great catch-up chat.
I lost my libido completely during my second pregnancy and after (3 months pp). I don’t have a solution. I’ve been reading up on advice and downloaded some love language apps. I hate to say it but with two kids feel like that might be on pause for us. That said do make some space for each other. We go have a drink on the patio after the two are down and it’s nice to just talk.
How long have you been married? Kids definitely bring a lot of disruption and stress into relationships.
Now it's a tough time but would you think it may help if carving out one day a week just for two of you? Of course you'll need support to take care the kids for these days.